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Original poster

Don't know what to make of this discovery

132 replies

ILoveaSunflower · 04/02/2023 22:10

A few months ago a package arrived for my husband which he opened in front of me as he said he couldn't remember ordering anything.
It was 8 packets of a drug called Doxycycline from an online pharmacy. He said he has forgotten about it but it was for a colleague at work who was going to a foreign country at risk of malaria infection and this drug prevents malaria. He said he forgot to change it to his work address which is why it came to our house.

I didn't think much more about it as I thought he would take them to work and give them to his colleague.

Today I was decluttering our bedroom and found the box of these drugs in his bedside cabinet underneath a pile of other stuff. There were two empty packets with missing pills.

I googled the use of this drug and it's an antibiotic used for malaria treatment, acne, rosacea but also for Chlamydia 😞

I honestly don't know what to do or think. We do not have holidays abroad as we can't afford them And certainly would not go anywhere malaria would be a problem. He doesn't go abroad for work himself.

He has a lot of skin complaints due to psoriasis but not acne or rosacea.

Why on earth would he take these pills? Is it Chlamydia?

I feel sick with the thought. We have been together 16 years and have two primary school age children.

OP posts:
breatheinskipthegym · 04/02/2023 22:15

It seems pretty clear that he’s lied to you. Whether because he’s either feeling silly that he’s bought online drugs for a skin condition, or because he has/suspects chlamydia is the bit you don’t know.

Get tested for chlamydia without delay, and be watchful of the way he behaves in the meantime. Photograph the pills but don’t keep them in your normal photo album. Decide what to do when you’re a bit more informed.

nc1013 · 04/02/2023 22:21

My first thought given that he's lied plus hidden them and taken them himself is that it's obviously an STI (why would you hide a harmless skin issue from your wife?).

However, surely if he slept with you he'd have already have passed it on, then even if he took the drugs, the next time he slept with you he'd get it back again himself? Or do you use condoms with him?

Watchkeys · 04/02/2023 22:25

Ask him. If you don't trust his answer, the problem in your relationship isn't unexplained pills.

Northby · 04/02/2023 22:25

If it is for chlamydia I’d be hitting the roof that he hasn’t done the decent thing and let me know I need antibiotics. Chlamydia left untreated can cause issues! I’d get tested asap and take it from there. If it’s negative, I’d still confront him as it doesn’t make sense for him to be taking them other than the worst possible reason…

Original poster
ILoveaSunflower · 04/02/2023 22:29

We use condoms but not usually until the end point. Sex is sporadic to be honest as I am tired with work and kids. I also have lichen sclerosis so suffer with itching and a burning vulva. Sex is maybe two to three times a month.

OP posts:
Original poster
ILoveaSunflower · 04/02/2023 22:31

He constantly berates me for more sex but I just don't feel like it most of the time due to tiredness and my LS symptoms. I usually force myself to make an effort. I do enjoy it when we do but I never initiate.

OP posts:
Sexypyjamas · 04/02/2023 22:31

Can be used for all the things you mentioned and even chest complaints.
You'd want to get an sti test as others have said. The secrecy would be a problem for me.

EVHead · 04/02/2023 22:33

He constantly berates me for more sex.

Hmm

wtfisgoingonhere21 · 04/02/2023 22:38

@ILoveaSunflower

Sounds like a sex pest then

Have you noticed any other odd things with him lately?

determinedtomakethiswork · 04/02/2023 22:46

You really need to get yourself tested. I had a boyfriend who passed on thrush to me. (He was sleeping with someone else unbeknownst to me) and I kept taking the thrush treatment but slept with him and kept getting it again and again. In the end, a really lovely doctor at an STD clinic said to me sorry love, your boyfriend is shagging someone else...

You might find your problem results itself after a test. I wouldn't trust him at all. He has lied to you.

Nagado · 04/02/2023 22:48

I think you should take photographs of the missing pills and get yourself to an sti clinic. He’d have to be pretty stupid not to have realised that he’d be reinfecting himself if he’d been positive and infected you, so he must be quite confident that he hasn’t infected you.

Then you need to decide what you want. Personally, I’d have the boxes of pills sat on the table waiting for him when he came home. Why hasn’t the friend got his own Amazon account? Why didn’t he pass the boxes on if he’d bought them for his friend? Why has he still got the empty packets? Is he expecting you to believe that he handed over the pills in a sandwich bag? Why did he order 8 boxes if he only needed two? How did the friend pay him? Bank transfer? Prove it. What’s the friend’s name? Tell him you want to see his phone there and then, before he’s got a chance to delete anything. Phone the friend, put it on speaker and ask him if he needs the rest of his Amazon order. If he knows about it, he’ll know what you’re talking about. If your DH has lied, he’ll panic and make up an excuse as to why you can’t phone him.

If he gets angry and tries to accuse you of not trusting him, and he can’t believe that you’d accuse him of cheating, remind him that he lied to you and gave you reason to question him.

HelterSkelter224 · 04/02/2023 22:50

Sorry to hear this OP, you probably will have to ask him about them. The old "I was holding them for a mate" excuse didn't work in high school and it sounds even more suspicious now. It might not be an STI but you need to know, it would be pretty reckless of him to hide an STI from you. Worth getting tested yourself just to make sure? Chlamydia is more serious untreated in women.

DestinysGrandchild · 04/02/2023 22:56

Go and get STI checked.

crochetcrazy1978 · 04/02/2023 22:58

Is he a prepper? I've heard of preppers buying these travel packs of doxycycline to stockpile antibiotics

Nagado · 04/02/2023 23:08

crochetcrazy1978 · 04/02/2023 22:58

Is he a prepper? I've heard of preppers buying these travel packs of doxycycline to stockpile antibiotics

He’s used two boxes. Even if he’d had something that needed antibiotics and was trying to use the older pills first, I’d have thought he would have replaced them with GP issued antibiotics.

TicketBoo23 · 04/02/2023 23:08

crochetcrazy1978 · 04/02/2023 22:58

Is he a prepper? I've heard of preppers buying these travel packs of doxycycline to stockpile antibiotics

He wouldn't have taken them then.

Original poster
ILoveaSunflower · 04/02/2023 23:10

No definitely not a prepper. He had a cold recently but not very bad one.

OP posts:
TicketBoo23 · 04/02/2023 23:11

Unfortunately I think the pestering etc you for more sex suggests the possibility of an affair or sex worker use.

He possibly didn't want to go to his family GP with sti symptoms and have to explain how he might have gotten it.

He could've gone to a sexual health clinic but that requires time off work, sitting around waiting, maybe travel to it etc. Do that's probably why he's gone through an online pharmacy.

TicketBoo23 · 04/02/2023 23:12

At this point I'd be looking into any communication and spending that you can possibly get access to.

TicketBoo23 · 04/02/2023 23:16

The old "I was holding them for a mate" excuse didn't work in high school and it sounds even more suspicious now

Yeah that never changes .... Caught with cigarettes, they're my mate's. Caught with porn - it's my mate's.

Recently a poste on here caught her h messaging escorts - apparently that was for a practical joke on his mate.

I once came across a copy of "The Game" (a pick up manual) in the home of an attached man with paragraphs highlighted and underlined. When I asked why he'd done that, he claimed it was a mate's book, he'd given him and it was his mate who'd done that. Hmm

winterchills · 04/02/2023 23:17

I would be thinking he is using sex workers, but whats worse is that hes treating himself but not you exposing you to all sorts of health problems which can arise from untreated STIs. I really hope its not true!!

TicketBoo23 · 04/02/2023 23:17

I'd be getting myself a stf screening as a first port of call.

TicketBoo23 · 04/02/2023 23:18

*std, obviously

TicketBoo23 · 04/02/2023 23:22

He said he has forgotten about it but it was for a colleague at work who was going to a foreign country at risk of malaria infection and this drug prevents malaria.

I can think.of literally no reason why the traveller wouldn't get them himself/herself.

And no reason why you'd order them off an online pharmacy... Unless it's changed, the NHS will supply anti malarials and even antibiotics if you explain you're going somewhere you may have trouble getting them if you need them. I was given a general use antibiotic for travelling years ago.

Also if you were truly trying to prevent malaria, I'd have thought you would be taking an effective anti malarial like Mefloquine (Larium).

Rockschooldropout · 04/02/2023 23:23

Get yourself along to an sti clinic .
Doxycycline is a common antibiotic for sinus infections and chest infections through to stis. The usual dose though is two to start and one a day for a week , so if he’s used two boxes this is a concern .. I wonder if he’s using escorts … either way .. he’s lying .. also “berating you for sex “ 😒 he sounds delightful