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Original poster

Don't know what to make of this discovery

132 replies

ILoveaSunflower · 04/02/2023 22:10

A few months ago a package arrived for my husband which he opened in front of me as he said he couldn't remember ordering anything.
It was 8 packets of a drug called Doxycycline from an online pharmacy. He said he has forgotten about it but it was for a colleague at work who was going to a foreign country at risk of malaria infection and this drug prevents malaria. He said he forgot to change it to his work address which is why it came to our house.

I didn't think much more about it as I thought he would take them to work and give them to his colleague.

Today I was decluttering our bedroom and found the box of these drugs in his bedside cabinet underneath a pile of other stuff. There were two empty packets with missing pills.

I googled the use of this drug and it's an antibiotic used for malaria treatment, acne, rosacea but also for Chlamydia 😞

I honestly don't know what to do or think. We do not have holidays abroad as we can't afford them And certainly would not go anywhere malaria would be a problem. He doesn't go abroad for work himself.

He has a lot of skin complaints due to psoriasis but not acne or rosacea.

Why on earth would he take these pills? Is it Chlamydia?

I feel sick with the thought. We have been together 16 years and have two primary school age children.

OP posts:
TicketBoo23 · 04/02/2023 23:24

Or the other classic one Chloroquine and Paludrin (sp) .... Unless they're totally defunct now.

Those were somewhat superceded by Larium but still taueh if you couldn't tolerate Larium.

TicketBoo23 · 04/02/2023 23:25

*still taken

elodiesmith · 04/02/2023 23:26

nc1013 · 04/02/2023 22:21

My first thought given that he's lied plus hidden them and taken them himself is that it's obviously an STI (why would you hide a harmless skin issue from your wife?).

However, surely if he slept with you he'd have already have passed it on, then even if he took the drugs, the next time he slept with you he'd get it back again himself? Or do you use condoms with him?

He would crush the pills into OP's dinner.
Not the craziest idea. That means they'd both be clear of chlamydia and the husband wouldn't have to confess to anything.

PritiPatelsMaker · 04/02/2023 23:26

I've had doxycycline for Blepharitis and rosacea.

TicketBoo23 · 04/02/2023 23:27

His story stinks of BS.

Who gets their work colleague to order drugs for them (unless that's somehow his job??).

And even if it was, the delivery address would he work, not his private home.

He hoped he'd receive that parcel without you seeing it.

If it was for his colleague, they'd also have been handed over by now. Not be hidden in your home with pills missing.

He's clearly happy lying right to your face.

Itstimetoquit · 04/02/2023 23:29

Sti check,hes lied so you cant trust him,i would be inclined to think sex workers

crazeecatladee · 04/02/2023 23:32

I picked up on the LS issue. From a fellow sufferer (of over 30yrs) I can empathise. No intimacy for years due to soreness, splitting of skin and never ending itching.

TicketBoo23 · 04/02/2023 23:32

He has a lot of skin complaints due to psoriasis but not acne or rosacea.

One would imagine a long term , married couple with kids would be comfortable discussing trying a new medication for eg skin complaints.

Not be making up some cock and bull story about buying the drug for a colleague (why couldn't the colleague just sign up and buy them themself? It's not even a classic anti malarial to my knowledge) and then taking them.

TicketBoo23 · 04/02/2023 23:40

Checked it out briefly as an antimalarial - honestly hadn't heard of it as one before - likes many other drugs used as antimalarials, it requires 4 weeks use after return from trip and a few days before. If his colleague is going for at least a week (or more) they need better, during and a month after. So why are the pills not handed over to says colleague and why is your husband using them up??

(Also people can mislay pills easily do you tend to need extra).

Doesn't make any sense.

If he was going to order extra and use some himself for a skin complaint (even though they aren't suitable for his type of skin complaints) why wouldn't he have just said.

TicketBoo23 · 04/02/2023 23:41

*before, during and a month after.

TicketBoo23 · 04/02/2023 23:43

elodiesmith · 04/02/2023 23:26

He would crush the pills into OP's dinner.
Not the craziest idea. That means they'd both be clear of chlamydia and the husband wouldn't have to confess to anything.

Show quote history

Sadly I have heard of people doing things like this.

In that case though it was medical abortion pills into smoothies.

Original poster
ILoveaSunflower · 04/02/2023 23:46

I honestly can't confront him yet I can't face having the conversation. I know that's cowardly.
It kind of helps to know a bit more about what the drug is used for so thank you to those with pharmacy knowledge.

OP posts:
louise5754 · 04/02/2023 23:46

Would he not hide them better?

Would a sex worker not insist on condoms?

Would an affair partner not risk becoming pregnant exposing the affair?

Original poster
ILoveaSunflower · 04/02/2023 23:49

He bought 40, 100mg pills. The website says this is their recommended dose for one week anti malaria. There's about 12 missing.

OP posts:
Sealover123 · 04/02/2023 23:52

It appears he has taken some (semi used packet in his cabinet) and lied about it - enough to warrant a prompt STI check!

As others have said if it was for another health issue surely he would have just said so?

Take care of yourself and keep an eye out for any suspicious behaviour!

Has there been/are you aware of any infidelity in the past?

Original poster
ILoveaSunflower · 04/02/2023 23:54

Very early in our relationship there was three instances of sex msn chat between an ex girlfriend. This was 15 years ago though.
He has stayed away a few times a year in the UK for work.

OP posts:
TicketBoo23 · 04/02/2023 23:56

louise5754 · 04/02/2023 23:46

Would he not hide them better?

Would a sex worker not insist on condoms?

Would an affair partner not risk becoming pregnant exposing the affair?

He pretended he didn't remember ordering them when they arrived . .. he (weirdly) ordered essential travel medication for a work colleague who'd need them for several days before their trip but forgot ...
S d had since left them in his home and been using them himself.

You can still get STDs using condoms. Not as easily but still.

Affair partner's often have unprotected sex. Unprotected from STDs not from pregnancy. Most men are happy to have unprotected sex believing the woman to be in the pill etc.

TicketBoo23 · 04/02/2023 23:57

Oh and he has been hiding them under ok there items in be a drawer.

He apparently believed oo bought his story and perhaps didn't expect her to go looking and checking.

No offence but you come across as naive.

TicketBoo23 · 04/02/2023 23:58

*but forgot about ordering them, and has since left them in his home and been using them himself.

TicketBoo23 · 05/02/2023 00:00

Would an affair partner not risk becoming pregnant exposing the affair?

You do understand that in the UK millions of people rely on contraception other than condoms .... so they could still very much get STDs while using effective contraceptives??

Original poster
ILoveaSunflower · 05/02/2023 00:01

Not naive, thank you. Just was willing and hoping to be able to trust my partner of 16 years.

OP posts:
TicketBoo23 · 05/02/2023 00:02

TicketBoo23 · 04/02/2023 23:57

Oh and he has been hiding them under ok there items in be a drawer.

He apparently believed oo bought his story and perhaps didn't expect her to go looking and checking.

No offence but you come across as naive.

Not you, op ... Louise.

Her points were very naive.

TicketBoo23 · 05/02/2023 00:06

They were;

Wouldnt he hide them better ..... Thousands of people are caught out not hiding things "well". Esp when they think their partner has bought their story and isn't super suspicious.

It's impossible/improbable to get STDs from sex workers because they use condoms ......Still possible from skin to skin contact in some cases and many sex workers dont use condoms for oral sex, and many trans sex workers dont use condoms at all and take prep etc according to UK punting.

An affair partner would he using condoms be sure they wouldn't want to risk pregnancy; they can avoid it without using condoms. And the same applies as to sex workers re the effectiveness of condoms.

SchoolTripDrama · 05/02/2023 00:06

ILoveaSunflower · 05/02/2023 00:01

Not naive, thank you. Just was willing and hoping to be able to trust my partner of 16 years.

Doxycycline is not the usual go-to for Chlamydia - that would be Amoxycillin. Doxycycline is most commonly used for skin issues. I have it for skin issues as a permanent repeat prescription. I will be on it the rest of my life.

The best way to know, is if he uses more than one week's worth. As one week is the usual dose for Chlamydia. Whereas long term is for skin issues. No idea about Malaria

Sealover123 · 05/02/2023 00:09

If he "ordered them for a colleague" there wouldn't be a partially used pack in his drawer. How would that even come about?

I'm so sorry OP but it seems he's lied to you. Whether that's for an embarrassing condition he isn't comfortable talking about or STIs is the question. Best be safe and get tested for peace of mind. Would be a horrid thing if he gave you something.

I wouldn't sleep with him until you find out what's going on. As you have evidence you could ask him casually and say what were you taking these for and then evaluate his reaction!