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Original poster

Could he be having an affair???

972 replies

heartbroken26 · 04/02/2023 11:41

Name changed for this!! I don't even know why im posting!! I don't know anything yet?! Im hoping it's all innocent!!

Today my husband told me he was going off to golf! No problem, it's a hobby he's taken up in the last 6 months and goes off most weekends! He always said it's a good de stresser as we have 2 children under 5, one of which is an baby. So of course I've had no reason to suspect anything untoward!!

My friend text me saying she's seen him with a woman shopping in the next town over!!! She doesn't think he saw her.

I don't know what to do, say, do I ring him? Do I confront him when he's home? I'm hoping my friend is wrong 😩

OP posts:
WisteriaLodge · 06/02/2023 09:35

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What a nasty thing to say, I bet you feel lovely saying that now...

ZekeZeke · 06/02/2023 09:35

I'm so sorry you are going through this.
Your friend did the right thing. (I had to tell my sister about her DH last year, he sent a text to me meant for the OW-I never once wobbled about telling her but her life has been ruined and I feel responsible somewhat even though I wasn't the person cheating.

I'm glad your mum came over.
I'm glad you now know the truth.
Ask him to leave to give you time to think. And surround yourself with people who love you.

IAmWomanHearMeRoar1 · 06/02/2023 09:37

It's really a shame that us women can be our own worst enemies to each other. When a woman has a gut instinct her husband has cheated, some scumbag will pop up and gaslight her and call her a drama lover. I mean, who is cruel enough to do that, and suggest that her (cheating) husband deserves better? What maggot says that to a fellow woman? OP's gut instinct was right, as they usually are. I just hope other posters will stop, think in future before they take a pop at OPs. Kindness and womens empathy goes a long way. No woman deserve gaslighting when she's the victim.

Rosellee · 06/02/2023 09:39

Also demand that he accounts for all time and money spent on this woman - time and money that he should have spent on his family because he had made marriage vows to you and because he owes a duty of responsible and moral behaviour as it concerns his DC and to you, the mother of his DC.

Inserthiliarioususernamehere · 06/02/2023 09:39

heartbroken26 · 06/02/2023 09:18

Right this is going to be a long one bear with me! I'll pre face it by asking if there are any divorce lawyers reading! I've had an absolute night of it, my mum had to come around at 1am to fetch the children as I was in no state to deal with a waking night feeding baby. I've kicked him out, it's all true, I'm absolutely devastated and a little in dis belief, well a lot in disbelief that this has happened. I messaged my friend after not being able to get in his phone, asking her to just tell me (it showed she was active despite ignoring my earlier call) she called me, she said she would have rather had a face to face conversation with me but if I really wanted to know there and then she would tell me. She admitted she had not been in Swindon, nor had she seen him, however she knew he was there as he was with her sister! At the moment she told me I felt a punch to the gut. (My husband dated her sister as teenagers) it's the Forest of Dean. Everyone knows everyone! She explained she had only recently discovered it herself. My husband and her sister had been meeting once a month for sex! I asked her why she hadn't just told me from the start (at this point I was holding on to any doubt) she said she was torn between me and her sister. I ended the call with my friend and woke my husband! He of course tried denying it! I insisted he hand over his phone and un lock it, low and behold! Any evidence was all I needed to see! Pictures and crude texts! He's tried telling me there are no feelings involved and it was just sex and that after our baby I haven't 'been up for it as much' I feel absolutely sick to my stomach! So yes, he has been playing golf occasionally! To use as a cover! And the sneaky man had his his clothes in the boot space for the spare wheel! If it's sex surely you don't go shopping with them? There must be feelings involved. He begged me not to kick him out and that he was sorry and Hel stop it immediately. And for the extra kick in the teeth, she was also at the pub with him Saturday. So, where the hell do I go from here? My mum is bringing my baby back shortly and she's already taken my son to school. She's going to help me think through how I'm feeling, I'm numb, I'm lost, I'm angry, I'm torn, I'm heartbroken

OP I’m so sorry. This is truly awful, but I’m glad you’ve gotten to the bottom of it and can now take action to get rid of him. You deserve better.

KAYMACK · 06/02/2023 09:41

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Original poster: the above post is very correct.

When I first came to this site, I noticed that:

There are obviously women who sit at home and just read this website and jump on any post about "cheating", especially at the beginning.

Either they do not have a man or have been cheated on themselves. But their one aim is to pile on and suggest that you leave your husband.

Why?

Because somehow it makes them feel more secure to know that other women have unhappy marriages which end badly.

Readers: look at any post on any such theme. Notice the results on the first page. What do they have in common?

Original poster: would you really listen to a gang of ten or twelve bitter women over such an important thing as your marriage, the biggest contract (i.e. business) in your life?

WinedropsOnMoses · 06/02/2023 09:42

I'm so sorry OP. How awful for you. I'm glad your friend eventually came through for you. I'm extremely close with my sister but I wouldn't have covered that up for her.No chance.

I can't imagine how you must be feeling right now.Take it steady if you can xx

illtakeit · 06/02/2023 09:42

And the plot thickens. Sorry OP.

workiskillingme · 06/02/2023 09:45

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Bet you feel stupid now huh?

mumof2andstillsurviving · 06/02/2023 09:45

@heartbroken26 I'm so so sorry. I'm sending you so much love and support.

booboo24 · 06/02/2023 09:47

I'm SO sorry it has turned out this way. I really am. Your poor friend too, sorry I doubted her, she's a good one, and by the sounds of it you have a lovely mum too who will help you through this.

It won't be easy, but just take it minute by minute in these first few days, lots of us have been where you are too and are happy to listen if needed x

nc1013 · 06/02/2023 09:48

WinedropsOnMoses · 06/02/2023 09:42

I'm so sorry OP. How awful for you. I'm glad your friend eventually came through for you. I'm extremely close with my sister but I wouldn't have covered that up for her.No chance.

I can't imagine how you must be feeling right now.Take it steady if you can xx

So sorry OP Flowers

Your friend has been put in such a hard position by her sister too. Who tells their sister "btw I've been shagging your best mates husband. Oh and guess what we're going shopping in Swindon together on Saturday. Ps please don't tell your pal" 🤦🏽‍♀️

iwantmyownicecreamvan · 06/02/2023 09:49

Damn - I feel an idiot now. I was convinced the friend was a drama queen and making it up. So sad to be wrong. Take your time OP, it sounds like your Mum has your back.

AmwajAnnie · 06/02/2023 09:50

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Original poster
heartbroken26 · 06/02/2023 09:51

I wish my friend has just told me outright from the start but I do appreciate she was torn between me and her. I really am appreciating all your replies and well wishes. Apart from my friend and mum. I'm not ready to reach out to more people in real life. I'm so hurt and Frankly quite embarrassed. I feel like this is a bad dream and I'll wake up any minute

OP posts:
AmwajAnnie · 06/02/2023 09:51

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workiskillingme · 06/02/2023 09:52

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No you just enjoy being bitchy to strangers on the Internet. Go you and your self worth!

workiskillingme · 06/02/2023 09:52

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Sorry you seem to be trapped in a thread you don't like- you need a rescue operation?

IAmWomanHearMeRoar1 · 06/02/2023 09:54

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You have nasty piece written all over you. I feel sorry for you, to have to be so hateful and nasty to others to make yourself feel better.

Littlemissprosecco · 06/02/2023 09:55

Seems like you have a really good mum and a decent friend OP. Stay strong, take your time to work through things in whatever way is best for you. I’m so sorry, some men are just weak.

lifeinthehills · 06/02/2023 09:55

Please don't feel embarrassed OP. You did nothing wrong. You were at home caring for the children that you both created and he's out there having sex with someone else because his wife, who has borne his child, is currently not as interested in sex as he'd like. Did he even try to talk to you about that issue or just go and have an affair? What a lame man. The embarrassment is all his.

Rosellee · 06/02/2023 09:55

iwantmyownicecreamvan · 06/02/2023 09:49

Damn - I feel an idiot now. I was convinced the friend was a drama queen and making it up. So sad to be wrong. Take your time OP, it sounds like your Mum has your back.

A traumatic thing for the Mum to go through as well as OP. Mums aren't often mentioned in these threads but it is of course a traumatic thing for them to go through too.
It incenses me that cheats seem to not have a clue how many lives they can affect.

AmwajAnnie · 06/02/2023 09:56

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iwantmyownicecreamvan · 06/02/2023 09:57

Sorry to do 2 posts - but the front of this man, and the lying and deceit! A change of clothes in the spare wheel space and "you weren't up for it much" because you had just had a baby - HIS baby. And he wants you to take him back! It's absolutely sickening and I am so so sorry.

IAmWomanHearMeRoar1 · 06/02/2023 09:57

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How good for you that the heartbreak of others is 'entertainment'. What a germ.