Could he be having an affair???

[heartbroken26]

Name changed for this!! I don't even know why im posting!! I don't know anything yet?! Im hoping it's all innocent!!

Today my husband told me he was going off to golf! No problem, it's a hobby he's taken up in the last 6 months and goes off most weekends! He always said it's a good de stresser as we have 2 children under 5, one of which is an baby. So of course I've had no reason to suspect anything untoward!!

My friend text me saying she's seen him with a woman shopping in the next town over!!! She doesn't think he saw her.

I don't know what to do, say, do I ring him? Do I confront him when he's home? I'm hoping my friend is wrong 😩

OP has already said that she believes her friend was mistaken .

Read the recent posts. It seems that there has been new updates, including he changed the password.

You clearly have not read all the posts. It didn't turn out to be wrong, and there have been new developments. Read the whole thread before commenting. If your husband was seen with another woman, changed his passcode, and turned off location, as well as looking panicked when mentioned where he was, if you still chose to stick your head in the sand that says a lot about how gullible and naive you are.

The turned off location is one I wouldn't worry too much about. My location is never on. I've never cheated.

Apparently one reaction was to look panicked when the friend mentioned being at the shopping centre. I think the evidence against the DH is flimsy at this stage and I'm definitely wary of the friend. I think I'd have to go see one last time what the friend has and, if she can't deliver the goods, reconsider my friendship with her.

It seems to me that you'd rather turn on your friend who was doing you a favour and looking out for you, in order for you to keep your head in the sand. The OP obviously has a gut instinct herself, that's why she's wondering. OP is not wrong for having that instinct, and not you, no one, should make her feel bad for listening to it.

He was identified by the 'friend' based on clothes he sometimes wears. He definitely wasn't wearing them. He took his golf clubs and played golf, documented on SM. OP said him being so active socially is a one off, due to coincidences of rugby fixtures, golf and him being a nice man, the type who would help a friend got a kitchen.
Reluctant as I am to engage with those who are nitpicking, if we're being pedantic, golfers are not allowed to use phones on the course, my husband used to put his on flight mode. Phones can't be tracked in flight mode, or when it's switched off. That might seem not so likely, but it's more understandable than faking an instagram story and having duplicate sets of clothes squirrelled away.

Right this is going to be a long one bear with me! I'll pre face it by asking if there are any divorce lawyers reading! I've had an absolute night of it, my mum had to come around at 1am to fetch the children as I was in no state to deal with a waking night feeding baby. I've kicked him out, it's all true, I'm absolutely devastated and a little in dis belief, well a lot in disbelief that this has happened. I messaged my friend after not being able to get in his phone, asking her to just tell me (it showed she was active despite ignoring my earlier call) she called me, she said she would have rather had a face to face conversation with me but if I really wanted to know there and then she would tell me. She admitted she had not been in Swindon, nor had she seen him, however she knew he was there as he was with her sister! At the moment she told me I felt a punch to the gut. (My husband dated her sister as teenagers) it's the Forest of Dean. Everyone knows everyone! She explained she had only recently discovered it herself. My husband and her sister had been meeting once a month for sex! I asked her why she hadn't just told me from the start (at this point I was holding on to any doubt) she said she was torn between me and her sister. I ended the call with my friend and woke my husband! He of course tried denying it! I insisted he hand over his phone and un lock it, low and behold! Any evidence was all I needed to see! Pictures and crude texts! He's tried telling me there are no feelings involved and it was just sex and that after our baby I haven't 'been up for it as much' I feel absolutely sick to my stomach! So yes, he has been playing golf occasionally! To use as a cover! And the sneaky man had his his clothes in the boot space for the spare wheel! If it's sex surely you don't go shopping with them? There must be feelings involved. He begged me not to kick him out and that he was sorry and Hel stop it immediately. And for the extra kick in the teeth, she was also at the pub with him Saturday. So, where the hell do I go from here? My mum is bringing my baby back shortly and she's already taken my son to school. She's going to help me think through how I'm feeling, I'm numb, I'm lost, I'm angry, I'm torn, I'm heartbroken

Not just based on the 'clothes he wears'. I think her friend knows what her husband looks like, regardless of clothes. To dismiss it as mere clothes is just silly. She KNOWS him and what he looks like. Golfers who cheat take their golf clubs. It really proves nothing. OP has indicated her husband is rarely home.

@heartbroken26 oh god I'm so sorry it ended up being true. I can't imagine what you're going through, and the added complication of your friend knowing for longer.... so sorry, sending you lots of well wishes, you will get through it.

@AmwajAnnie and @Hobbi Well I bet you both feel silly now.

Do you still think her now PROVEN cheating husband 'deserves better'? You both were fools.

She text him when he was in the golf course asking him how it was going and he replied.

Her DHs friend also posted a story on Insta of DH on the golf course from that day. Unless he's got his friend in on it and asked him to post and old photo when he was wearing identical clothes, same weather conditions etc, then he was playing golf.

@IAmWomanHearMeRoar1

I don't feel silly, I feel enormously sorry for OP. And, as the friend was lying about seeing them, my reasoning was correct, as far as it went. Overall, OP's friend has drip fed unnecessarily and this could have been handled much better by her telling OP while he was out.

OP, I am so so, so, so sorry! It's really good when your friend has your back, and she was looking out for you. When us women know, we know. And my gut feeling shouting cheating from your first post. Unfortunately some silly gullible fools on here are so slow they just don't get it, or they don't have the 'instinct'. Sorry about others giving you a hard time. I am so sorry, and I hope you find a good lawyer.

I'm sorry it turned out to be true, OP. I think it's better that you know but this will be a difficult time. At least it seems you have a supportive mother there.

I’m so sorry op, been watching your thread for a couple of day and how awful for you. You will be better off without him, what a betrayal. I’d try go easy on your friend, she’s probably been totally stuck as to what to do as it’s her family… but she did the right thing in the end.

I'm so sorry OP. What a dick. I was hoping it was all misunderstanding, gosh :/

Get rid OP you can’t stay with someone like that.

so sorry

Good for your friend, she must have been in a difficult spot having to choose between her sister and her friend. Sending a big hug.

I'm so sorry, OP. What an absolute bastard he is!

I think you need to tell him to stay away whilst you gather your thoughts and figure out what you do next.

He's betrayed you in the worst and most selfish of ways, putting himself first, ensuring he has access to 'fun' times whilst you look after his home and his family. I think he needs to feel the consequences of his actions and that must involve him leaving the family home at least for a temporary period, do you think @heartbroken26 ?

Also, make him get the full STI testing and show you the results.