Could he be having an affair???

[heartbroken26]

Name changed for this!! I don't even know why im posting!! I don't know anything yet?! Im hoping it's all innocent!!

Today my husband told me he was going off to golf! No problem, it's a hobby he's taken up in the last 6 months and goes off most weekends! He always said it's a good de stresser as we have 2 children under 5, one of which is an baby. So of course I've had no reason to suspect anything untoward!!

My friend text me saying she's seen him with a woman shopping in the next town over!!! She doesn't think he saw her.

I don't know what to do, say, do I ring him? Do I confront him when he's home? I'm hoping my friend is wrong 😩

Well then OP, you know what you have to do, don't you? Just ask your husband. I've followed this thread since lunchtime yesterday, trying to make sense of it all. And whilst, if any of it is true, I feel for you. I can't understand the lengths you are going to, to prescribe to the drama. Just ask him. He's your husband.

I'm trying to make sense of it all too, trust me. My heads now all over the place. He's asleep. But if anything is happening I'm not sure to gather more evidence like previous posters have advised? I'm not sure I can hold off waking him up. I've just tried to call my friend but she hasn't answered

Iffy. Did you mentioned something to him by any chance? How did he find out you were snooping on his phone? I believe if he was totally transparent with his life he wouldn't need to hide his password from you. Looks like he has something to hide?

Your friend shouldn't be holding things back from you. She should've phoned already and told you what she knows, this must be really frustrating for you.

Does he have a MacBook ? My OH phone is linked to his computer through his Apple ID.

So he changed his password code (questionable in the context) and looked worried when the shopping centre was mentioned. See what friend has. You either have a bad friend there or maybe DH is up to something. It doesn't seem like he'd have had a lot of time to see anyone yesterday though, does it? Unless he's having an affair with friend who met him at the pub on the pretext of checking on him. Maybe be watchful but don't panic just yet.

He wil

Do you know for sure the password had been changed recently? Could he have routinely changed it a while back and you haven't had reason to notice?

Making you wait overnight is incredibly cruel!!

Exactly............

I think it could be her

Unless you were a drama lama attention seeker...

sorry was answering the below comment:

@OnceThereWereDragons - if it was one of my friends and my intentions were sincere, I wouldn't make them 'wait', it's not a 2 part soap opera- I'd come straight out with my evidence.

I agree with this!

Hi OP, I know you trust your friend but the more you update about her, I'm wondering (if your DH is having an affair) if she could be the AP or if she fancies him.

I really hope for your sake they're not involved and there is no affair but I think you should bear this in mind as a possibility. When people have an affair they do really crazy shit that you could never imagine they're capable of.

With this in mind, don't chase her for answers, don't tell her you're looking at his phone etc, don't tell her your plans, just let her do the talking.

I do think the golf clubs thing is nonsense - we have lots of golf gear in our garage and my husband doesn't take it all with him when he plays. We even have an extra full set for a left handed player and my husband is right handed.

Honestly, I am suspicious about your friend's intentions. She lobs a hand grenade into your life and calls saying that she has found out more and will tell you tomorrow. Those are not the actions of a friend. She seems to be enjoying the drama.

As for the shopping, so what? I ended up going round an antiques exhibition with my friend's boyfriend as we happened to meet up there. It didn't mean we were having sex with each other.

Professionally speaking I can tell you eye witness identifications are notoriously unreliable. Almost everybody has a doppelganger. Once my husband said for a split second he was going to tell me he'd seen my dad out walking when he remembered my dad lives in another city. I said I knew the man as he lived in our neighbourhood and every time I saw him I did a double take. He looked exactly like my dad, same face, height, build, same style of clothes. As far as I know he was no relative at all to my father.

Wrong thread

I think it would be wise to be cautious of your friend - to begin with, anyway. If she brings evidence, just take a step back and ask yourself if it is real evidence, or does it just make sense because she’s put the idea in your head.

I doubt your friends intentions to be honest OP

Your “friend” really isn’t going to let this go is she

You should have had it out with your friend when you thought but was all OK yesterday.
If my friend had put me through tgwt I'd be on the phone to her getting pretty annoyed.
Now this.i wouldn't let her make necwait.
You should have told your husband.
Twice now you've thought that it could get something.you obviously have issues

Does your friend know about this thread?

Do we think it's either the friend or maybe she knows something and is using an odd roundabout way of letting you know?

What's your friendship history with her and is she usually a drama llama? What would you say is her relationship with your husband like?

Either way after all this I think you need space from this person.

I would ask to speak to my friend immediately if I had news of such scale, I wouldn't make someone wait. Whatever is going on with your husband I would be wary of your friend as she does seem to be stoking the drama.