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Original poster

Could he be having an affair???

972 replies

heartbroken26 · 04/02/2023 11:41

Name changed for this!! I don't even know why im posting!! I don't know anything yet?! Im hoping it's all innocent!!

Today my husband told me he was going off to golf! No problem, it's a hobby he's taken up in the last 6 months and goes off most weekends! He always said it's a good de stresser as we have 2 children under 5, one of which is an baby. So of course I've had no reason to suspect anything untoward!!

My friend text me saying she's seen him with a woman shopping in the next town over!!! She doesn't think he saw her.

I don't know what to do, say, do I ring him? Do I confront him when he's home? I'm hoping my friend is wrong 😩

OP posts:
kateandme · 05/02/2023 04:53

OrlandointheWilderness · 04/02/2023 18:55

I am sniffer. If DP has worn a shirt then hung it up, I do sometimes have a sneaky sniff when he isn't home because I love the way he smells! 😂

thankyou!!

JennyJenny8675309 · 05/02/2023 06:49

Thethingswedoforlove · 04/02/2023 12:01

Drive to the golf club with his clubs being helpful as he clearly forgot them?

Then hit him over the head with them when you find him. 😵‍💫

wombat1a · 05/02/2023 07:18

The iPhone 'find my' is not 100% reliable. For weeks I DH couldn't get a location for me even thou I was sharing with him. He would get a notification that I was sharing with him but he never got the actual location just a '... not found.' We tried all the methods they recommend to fix it and after two weeks rebooted the phone and lo and behold it worked again.

So him not being found can very well be totally innocent, him might even be convinced he is sharing such as I was but for some reason it's not actually working.

JennyJenny8675309 · 05/02/2023 07:19

Hi, OP. I just read the full thread and it sounds like everything might be okay. I hope you’re feeling better.

As far as your use of exclamation points, you’re definitely over-using them, which distracts from your written communication. I tend to overuse them
myself.

rainbowstardrops · 05/02/2023 07:30

I hope you had a lovely evening @heartbroken26 and all is as it should be.

I would however, be pretty pissed off if my partner worked long hours, then went to golf, pretty much straight out to the pub and then potentially helping a mate the next day as well.
When does he spend time with his family?!
Do you know he's definitely working all the hours that he's claiming he does?

Sirius3030 · 05/02/2023 07:51

Namechangethisonetime · 04/02/2023 23:47

God, he’s pretty stupid.

I’m hoping he was genuinely out buying you a gift with a mutual friend or relative.

Show quote history

Well someone is pretty stupid. Might be him, or might be posters who can’t be bothered to read all the messages?

Dibbydoos · 05/02/2023 08:34

Call him with a ruse that needs him home immediately. When he gets home, ask him who he was shopping with. It may be innocent so listen. If it's not innocent give him 30mins to pack some stuff and leave. I'm hoping he won't cut you off financially, but to avoid that risk make sure whilst you're waiting for him to sort £out in joint accounts etc. You need >50% until custody is sorted.

Your friend wouldn't have called him out if she wasn't 110% sure it was him, friends don't call cheats in error.

Big hug, for you OP. Good luck xxx

Zonder · 05/02/2023 08:47

So glad it sounds like no affair.

Are you happy with how little time he spends with his family? 60 hour working week, golf for hours, pub with friends for hours and off to help fit a kitchen today.

When does he hang out with you or his kids and when do you get a break?

IAmWomanHearMeRoar1 · 05/02/2023 08:55

Nah, still sounds like an affair to me, it seems like he got his friend to 'cover' for him with that photo. I'm sure her friend knows what he looks like. And OP did say he looked panicked when her friend talked about buying something there. Why would he do that?

Hobbi · 05/02/2023 09:21

Sazzy6258 · 05/02/2023 02:21

Why don't you ask him casually about his clubs? I went in the garage yesterday and noticed your clubs were still here have you been borrowing X's clubs to give them a whirl? And then watch his reaction

He. Didn't. Forget. His. Clubs.

Hobbi · 05/02/2023 09:26

Dibbydoos · 05/02/2023 08:34

Call him with a ruse that needs him home immediately. When he gets home, ask him who he was shopping with. It may be innocent so listen. If it's not innocent give him 30mins to pack some stuff and leave. I'm hoping he won't cut you off financially, but to avoid that risk make sure whilst you're waiting for him to sort £out in joint accounts etc. You need >50% until custody is sorted.

Your friend wouldn't have called him out if she wasn't 110% sure it was him, friends don't call cheats in error.

Big hug, for you OP. Good luck xxx

Is this serious? Have you read any of the thread? The 'friend' was clearly mistaken (or lying.) He played golf, he took his clubs and there's a SM post verifying it. The outfit by which he was identified is in the wardrobe. Why do you want him to be cheating?

GrasstrackGirl · 05/02/2023 09:34

I think a lot of posters forget that this could be someone's marriage, wanting the husband to be a cheating fucker is a bit strange to say the least.

HazelBite · 05/02/2023 09:40

He;s obviously got a doppellganger! The number of people who have told me that they have seen me in my local town but I ignoredthem/didn't acknowledge them. I was getting worried until I realised it wasn't me, not "in town" when they said they saw me. Some woman approached me convinced I was her friends daughter, wouldn't accept that I wasn't.
If the OP's friend was used to seeing the OP's DH wearing certain clothes and if this bloke was same colouring and build its more than possible she believed what she saw!

mydogisthebest · 05/02/2023 09:51

It's so sad that so many posters are always convinced that a poster's husband is having an affair.

Lots of men can be trusted. Lots of men do not and would not have an affair

Lejuge28 · 05/02/2023 10:00

As a golfer, I always leave clubs behind in the house, as you are only allowed 14 clubs in your bag for a round of golf.

Intrepidescape · 05/02/2023 10:30

Why haven’t you checked his bag in the garage??

Aussiegirl88 · 05/02/2023 10:32

Intrepidescape · 05/02/2023 10:30

Why haven’t you checked his bag in the garage??

PLEASE READ THE GOD DAMN THREAD THOROUGHLY!

Merryoldgoat · 05/02/2023 11:10

I have a doppelgänger. So similar looking that I’ve been mistaken for her by people who know her properly and likewise my aunt and best friend approached her and were a shocked when it wasn’t me. They were within touching distance when they realised.

honeypancake · 05/02/2023 11:30

Sounds like your friend gets excited about things and has too much free time? It did surprise me she jumped to come over right away, stay with you and offered to stalk your husband to the pub in the evening. Does she have her own life to attend to? In that situation I would expect a text from her with the info - she is a good friend - but not drop everything right now. Definitely pay attention what happens next and quietly investigate. Good on not just attacking DH right after your friend first called. Honestly if the marriage is good and he is loving and not suspicious my first instinct would be to doubt friend, not DH.

parlourb · 05/02/2023 12:31

Op you knew it can't have been him when you checked the wardrobe and the top he was meant to have been wearing was hanging up. Why did your friend still follow him to the pub ? All very strange

Sazzy6258 · 05/02/2023 12:39

I know he didn't!!! If you have read what I put properly you would understand that!! Say to your husband, how did you play golf yesterday as your clubs were STILL in the garage and guage his response from that.

Original poster
heartbroken26 · 05/02/2023 12:44

Hi all! Just to give you all an update, he's back from helping a friend already. It didn't take long, it's just bad timing that the 6 nations were on and his friend needed help, he plays golf every other weekend and usually is always with me and the kids on weekends apart from that. We had a lovely normal evening. In terms of my friend, I love her lots, but yes she is a drama Queen... i suppose I shouldn't of got so wrapped in it with her. I don't feel I have any reason to believe my husband is having an affair, she sorta led me down a path to get carried away. I'm yet to hear from my friend today so I presume she's sleeping off a hangover. Thanks for all sticking along the way with me 😊

OP posts:
Pinkknits2 · 05/02/2023 12:50

Oh I'm glad you're ok. Sorry you went through that.

LikeTearsInRain · 05/02/2023 12:52

Could your friend be rocking the boat deliberately because she’s taken a shine to your husband? Wants to snap him up when you split?

Hobbi · 05/02/2023 12:56

Sazzy6258 · 05/02/2023 12:39

I know he didn't!!! If you have read what I put properly you would understand that!! Say to your husband, how did you play golf yesterday as your clubs were STILL in the garage and guage his response from that.

This is insane. He DIDN'T leave his clubs behind. He took them. Asking him how he got on without them would be unhinged. Read the thread.