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Original poster

Could he be having an affair???

972 replies

heartbroken26 · 04/02/2023 11:41

Name changed for this!! I don't even know why im posting!! I don't know anything yet?! Im hoping it's all innocent!!

Today my husband told me he was going off to golf! No problem, it's a hobby he's taken up in the last 6 months and goes off most weekends! He always said it's a good de stresser as we have 2 children under 5, one of which is an baby. So of course I've had no reason to suspect anything untoward!!

My friend text me saying she's seen him with a woman shopping in the next town over!!! She doesn't think he saw her.

I don't know what to do, say, do I ring him? Do I confront him when he's home? I'm hoping my friend is wrong 😩

OP posts:
offyoufuckcuntychops · 04/02/2023 19:28

I can't believe there are non-sniffers. They clearly don't have teenage children. Or wear clothes.

user40643 · 04/02/2023 19:29

Sick of fucking troll hunters.

If you don't believe the thread then report it.

Troll hunters should have an immediate ban.

user40643 · 04/02/2023 19:30

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Because every human acts in one uniformed way, yeah?

Dfod

Original poster
heartbroken26 · 04/02/2023 19:32

666roses · 04/02/2023 19:04

I just had to wait for my husband to come home as he has been with a friend all day as well, I asked him about the golf clubs and if your DH has a full set then depending on the course they are playing he probably wouldn't need all of them so to make lugging the bag around you take out the clubs you won't use, unfortunately this has now reminded my husband that he has lost his "3 iron" so her needs to buy a new one.
From another sniffer

Thank you! That is actually really helpful to know, explains the clubs left behind x

OP posts:
Original poster
heartbroken26 · 04/02/2023 19:33

user40643 · 04/02/2023 19:29

Sick of fucking troll hunters.

If you don't believe the thread then report it.

Troll hunters should have an immediate ban.

I know! I've actually been on here for years and Mumsnet can absolutely verify that if needed x

OP posts:
2023a · 04/02/2023 19:33

PousseyNotMoira · 04/02/2023 18:37

Sorry, not sure if anyone has asked this, but why did your friend contact you about this in the first place?

Presumably she had no idea he was meant to be playing golf at the time. So, essentially, she saw your husband in a shop with a woman (who could have been literally anyone, as far as she knew: his mate Sue, his cousin Liz) and was instantly on the phone reporting it to you? Why?

Unless they were snogging or something (in which case, I assume you’d have mentioned it by now), she had no reason to believe anything untoward was happening. So, what was she reporting, exactly?

I really want OP to answer this. ☹️

Isthisexpected · 04/02/2023 19:35

That he was shopping with a woman when he usually plays golf? I assume it was more hi how are you? Just seen X shopping today. Nothing more salacious necessarily!

user40643 · 04/02/2023 19:38

@heartbroken26 I believe you OP. They're far too tolerated.

I would still ask dh or check his locations later on his phone. Hopefully it's a mistake but something's telling me you ought to check

2023a · 04/02/2023 19:41

Isthisexpected · 04/02/2023 19:35

That he was shopping with a woman when he usually plays golf? I assume it was more hi how are you? Just seen X shopping today. Nothing more salacious necessarily!

How would her friend know he was supposed to be playing golf, though? People’s friends don’t generally have their partner’s itineraries.

‘My friend text me saying she's seen him with a woman shopping in the next town over!!! She doesn't think he saw her’ doesn’t sound like dropping it into casual convo. It sounds like she was reporting something. Why?

Cocobutt · 04/02/2023 19:49

This morning? In bed snuggled up with the baby after a rough night

So how did you not see what he was wearing before he left?

Starwarslover · 04/02/2023 19:51

I don’t mean to be rude OP but I’m failing to see how him being in the pub in any way means he’s not having an affair? People who have affairs do have social lives! I think it would be weird if he saw the other woman twice in one day.

if your friend was stirring she would have said he wasn’t in the pub, I think she’s telling the truth. Why would he look panicked about the shopping centre if he wasn’t there??

also the likelihood of your friend being mistaken given she listed an item of clothing that he owns is extraordinarily unlikely, Doppleganger maybe, doppleganger in same clothes, nah

Sorry OP I know it’s not what you want to hear, but you need to keep digging.

Sandra1984 · 04/02/2023 19:53

user40643 · 04/02/2023 19:38

@heartbroken26 I believe you OP. They're far too tolerated.

I would still ask dh or check his locations later on his phone. Hopefully it's a mistake but something's telling me you ought to check

Apparently he turned his phone tracker off, how convenient...

user40643 · 04/02/2023 19:55

Apparently he turned his phone tracker off, how convenient...

But his location would still be on his phone and various other things like the amount of steps he walked etc

Starwarslover · 04/02/2023 19:56

As a side he was out at golf until 3pm, not sure when he left but definitely 11am or earlier given your post, he came home and showered and was out by 4pm again, and he’s going to help a mate fit a kitchen tomorrow, does he ever do any, you know, parenting?! I wouldn’t be impressed with being ditched this much with two under 5s!

Sandra1984 · 04/02/2023 19:57

user40643 · 04/02/2023 19:55

Apparently he turned his phone tracker off, how convenient...

But his location would still be on his phone and various other things like the amount of steps he walked etc

Whereabouts in his phone can you trace that info if tracker is turned off? sorry just curious.

InFiveMins · 04/02/2023 19:57

Starwarslover · 04/02/2023 19:51

I don’t mean to be rude OP but I’m failing to see how him being in the pub in any way means he’s not having an affair? People who have affairs do have social lives! I think it would be weird if he saw the other woman twice in one day.

if your friend was stirring she would have said he wasn’t in the pub, I think she’s telling the truth. Why would he look panicked about the shopping centre if he wasn’t there??

also the likelihood of your friend being mistaken given she listed an item of clothing that he owns is extraordinarily unlikely, Doppleganger maybe, doppleganger in same clothes, nah

Sorry OP I know it’s not what you want to hear, but you need to keep digging.

I agree with this. Posters are suggesting the friend isn't being genuine, but OP you have said she is a good friend. Why would she lie to you if she's a good friend? She saw him wearing clothing you know he owns, and you said he looked panicked when the shopping place was mentioned. It's too much of a coincidence.

I'd keep on digging for sure.

BTMadmummy · 04/02/2023 19:58

MayThe4th · 04/02/2023 14:28

Well, friend came and went quickly didn’t she?

Maybe the friend is actually stirring. If you wanted to make someone insecure about their marriage say you’ve seen their husband in town with another woman.

Or alternatively maybe the woman he’s having an affair with is the friend. She wouldn’t be the first OW claiming to have seen someone’s husband with another woman….

This was my first thought too

user40643 · 04/02/2023 19:59

Whereabouts in his phone can you trace that info if tracker is turned off? sorry just curious.

Photos is a basic one.
I have a health app that tracks my locations.
Social media apps

Zanatdy · 04/02/2023 20:02

re doubting your friend, is she local? Wouldn’t you dash round to one of your best friends if they were in a similar situation? I certainly would drop whatever I was doing to offer support. Isn’t that what good friends do? I guess she just saw someone who looked like your DH and because of the golf it fitted that he could be having an affair. Glad he’s not, but doesn’t hurt to keep your guard up, I mean he could have some other clothes at her house, unlikely though. I think your friend did good, she didn’t umm and ahh and ask mumsnet if she should tell her friend she potentially saw her husband with another woman. She let you know straight away and came round to offer to support you. I hope she’s not done this to cause drama, I guess you know what kind of person she is and whether she’s capable of doing that more than we do.

PousseyNotMoira · 04/02/2023 20:05

Zanatdy · 04/02/2023 20:02

re doubting your friend, is she local? Wouldn’t you dash round to one of your best friends if they were in a similar situation? I certainly would drop whatever I was doing to offer support. Isn’t that what good friends do? I guess she just saw someone who looked like your DH and because of the golf it fitted that he could be having an affair. Glad he’s not, but doesn’t hurt to keep your guard up, I mean he could have some other clothes at her house, unlikely though. I think your friend did good, she didn’t umm and ahh and ask mumsnet if she should tell her friend she potentially saw her husband with another woman. She let you know straight away and came round to offer to support you. I hope she’s not done this to cause drama, I guess you know what kind of person she is and whether she’s capable of doing that more than we do.

I’ve said this upthread. Presumably the friend had no idea that he was meant to be playing golf, though. So, she saw her DH in a shop with a woman (who could have been literally anyone, as far as she knew: his mate Sue, his cousin Liz) and was instantly on the phone to ‘let her know straight away’? Why?

Mañanarama · 04/02/2023 20:05

Where are the golf clothes he was wearing today in the Insta post? Sniff test required.

gemloving · 04/02/2023 20:09

I read this entire thread thinking: noooo. This poor lady but he sounds legit. I'd find it hard to speak to my friend for a while due to the heart ache she caused despite best intentions. P.s. i'd sniff.

mcjudge · 04/02/2023 20:18

So how or why did your friend get to you so quickly?

She wasn't really in Swindon and made that up then came to yours having deceived an outfit she has seen your DH in before?

BTMadmummy · 04/02/2023 20:22

heartbroken26 · 04/02/2023 18:48

Thank you to all my fellow 'sniffers' for sticking up for me!

Another sniffer here

Sandra1984 · 04/02/2023 20:24

user40643 · 04/02/2023 19:59

Whereabouts in his phone can you trace that info if tracker is turned off? sorry just curious.

Photos is a basic one.
I have a health app that tracks my locations.
Social media apps

Ok, lets lay your typical scenario: his phone camera didn't take any photos during that specific time, none of his friends uploaded any pics of him on social media, he (like most people) doesn't have a health app that records every number of steps they take a day AND he has switched off his phone tracker (like the OP's husband). There's absolutely NO WAY of tracking him, unless of course you're in law enforcement, ask for a subpoena to his phone company and get a memo on his phone tower tracking like police do with serious crimes (which is obvs not going to happen but that would be cool as she would really really know were exactly hubby was at all times and if he cheated or not).