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Original poster

Could he be having an affair???

972 replies

heartbroken26 · 04/02/2023 11:41

Name changed for this!! I don't even know why im posting!! I don't know anything yet?! Im hoping it's all innocent!!

Today my husband told me he was going off to golf! No problem, it's a hobby he's taken up in the last 6 months and goes off most weekends! He always said it's a good de stresser as we have 2 children under 5, one of which is an baby. So of course I've had no reason to suspect anything untoward!!

My friend text me saying she's seen him with a woman shopping in the next town over!!! She doesn't think he saw her.

I don't know what to do, say, do I ring him? Do I confront him when he's home? I'm hoping my friend is wrong 😩

OP posts:
ShakespearesBlister · 04/02/2023 18:35

heartbroken26 · 04/02/2023 18:11

I'm beginning to doubt my friend! Someone posted earlier that she got to me quite quickly, and she did! I didn't think too much at the time as I had other thoughts on my mind.... some of you are pointing the finger at her stirring drama. Maybe, I really don't want to believe that though? What would she be getting out of it?

Lots of attention? A power boost getting her friend crying on her shoulder? Enjoying the drama she's caused? You'd be surprised what some 'friends,' get out of stirring in other people's relationships. Is she single by any chance?

PousseyNotMoira · 04/02/2023 18:37

Sorry, not sure if anyone has asked this, but why did your friend contact you about this in the first place?

Presumably she had no idea he was meant to be playing golf at the time. So, essentially, she saw your husband in a shop with a woman (who could have been literally anyone, as far as she knew: his mate Sue, his cousin Liz) and was instantly on the phone reporting it to you? Why?

Unless they were snogging or something (in which case, I assume you’d have mentioned it by now), she had no reason to believe anything untoward was happening. So, what was she reporting, exactly?

Cocobutt · 04/02/2023 18:38

Where were you when he left the house?
Did he sneak out?

It’s possible that he did meet up with a woman for a coffee or just bumped into a friend whilst out as well as playing golf.

For now I would just keep an eye on the situation and see if anything else is suspicious.

I think you seem to jump to conclusions very quickly, firstly about your DH having an affair and now your friend lying.
Do you suffer with paranoia or anxiety or anything?

stopringingme · 04/02/2023 18:39

heartbroken26 · 04/02/2023 18:11

I'm beginning to doubt my friend! Someone posted earlier that she got to me quite quickly, and she did! I didn't think too much at the time as I had other thoughts on my mind.... some of you are pointing the finger at her stirring drama. Maybe, I really don't want to believe that though? What would she be getting out of it?

I did think how come she got to you so quick, was so convinced it was him, surely she would have taken a photo.

It all seems a bit much.

Is she jealous of your life, does she have an other half and children, is she happy.

I would be wary of sharing too much with her in future.

Holly76354 · 04/02/2023 18:42

I doubt your friend had bad intentions. Obviously I don't know her but it doesn't make sense. It sounds like she was genuinally concerned amd was being a good friend. Don't shoot the messenger.
I hope everything works out. I'd probably let it go for now but keep my eyes peeled just incase x

Hobbi · 04/02/2023 18:43

Cocobutt · 04/02/2023 18:38

Where were you when he left the house?
Did he sneak out?

It’s possible that he did meet up with a woman for a coffee or just bumped into a friend whilst out as well as playing golf.

For now I would just keep an eye on the situation and see if anything else is suspicious.

I think you seem to jump to conclusions very quickly, firstly about your DH having an affair and now your friend lying.
Do you suffer with paranoia or anxiety or anything?

Do you know how long a round of golf takes? If he was home at 3, he would have to have been spotted at around 8am. The golf has been verified, so unless the 'friend' saw him wandering round an unopened shopping centre, we can presume she was mistaken or stirring. He hasn't met anyone today.

Original poster
heartbroken26 · 04/02/2023 18:45

Cocobutt · 04/02/2023 18:38

Where were you when he left the house?
Did he sneak out?

It’s possible that he did meet up with a woman for a coffee or just bumped into a friend whilst out as well as playing golf.

For now I would just keep an eye on the situation and see if anything else is suspicious.

I think you seem to jump to conclusions very quickly, firstly about your DH having an affair and now your friend lying.
Do you suffer with paranoia or anxiety or anything?

I do suffer with anxiety yes, I am on medication for if though

OP posts:
Greyarea12 · 04/02/2023 18:45

heartbroken26 · 04/02/2023 17:46

Well @EmilyGilmoresSass I must be weird to sniff items of clothing! Are you honestly telling me you have never in your life sniffed clothing! And what I meant by unworn is it didn't smell of aftershave it smelled of clean washing

@heartbroken26 your not weird at all. Your not 'stalking' you are very understandably trying to figure out what is going on. As for the sniffing, people sniff clothes all the time to work out if they fresh or not. I sniff my dd's clothes when she leaves them lying on the bed and i dont know if they have been worn or not. As for the person who said you were using ! marks wrong, it's them that's wrong and you are using them correctly.

Sometimes you can tell who the school bullies were on here.

I'm sorry you are going through this and I do hope it all turns out to be a misunderstanding.

Thindog · 04/02/2023 18:47

Your friend is not a good friend.
A good friend would check facts, probably take time and agonise over what to do. Then she should have tackled your husband first, asking why (she thought) he was with another woman before stirring up trouble between you. She has caused you awful unnecessary worry, that's not friendship.
She seems to be enjoying the drama and being able to act like a detective.

Original poster
heartbroken26 · 04/02/2023 18:48

Thank you to all my fellow 'sniffers' for sticking up for me!

OP posts:
Benjispruce4 · 04/02/2023 18:49

I’d definitely sniff!

Hobbi · 04/02/2023 18:50

heartbroken26 · 04/02/2023 18:48

Thank you to all my fellow 'sniffers' for sticking up for me!

Add me to the sniffers. My husband would wear weekend clothes repeatedly if I didn't take them from his 'informal' pile and test them for unacceptableness. Ironically, when he played golf, these were clothes I sniffed a lot!

OrlandointheWilderness · 04/02/2023 18:55

I am sniffer. If DP has worn a shirt then hung it up, I do sometimes have a sneaky sniff when he isn't home because I love the way he smells! 😂

CornishGem1975 · 04/02/2023 18:57

Hopefully just a big old misunderstanding.

Cocobutt · 04/02/2023 18:59

OP where were you when he left the house?

Justleaveitblankthen · 04/02/2023 19:01

Was his friend's Insta story from today? Could you tell by your husband's clothes/hair anything else that it is a same-day pic?
The only reason I ask is because of his "panicked look." Does his friend often post photos of his Golfing pals, or is it an unusual occurance? Could hubby have confided in him and asked him to post a pic (sent him one)
Seems unlikely though.. Is it unusual that your friend visits you on a Saturday and he put two and two together?

What's she doing now by the way? Did she speak with your husband there, or sneak out?
Sorry about all the questions 😬
Oh, the golf clubs - I wouldn't mention them at all - if he had been cheating, he would have simply said he forgot them, borrowed a pals and dropped them off again afterwards..

Original poster
heartbroken26 · 04/02/2023 19:04

Cocobutt · 04/02/2023 18:59

OP where were you when he left the house?

This morning? In bed snuggled up with the baby after a rough night

OP posts:
666roses · 04/02/2023 19:04

I just had to wait for my husband to come home as he has been with a friend all day as well, I asked him about the golf clubs and if your DH has a full set then depending on the course they are playing he probably wouldn't need all of them so to make lugging the bag around you take out the clubs you won't use, unfortunately this has now reminded my husband that he has lost his "3 iron" so her needs to buy a new one.
From another sniffer

lizzielizard · 04/02/2023 19:04

All's well that ends well. So sorry you've had this traumatic day but seems to me that all is as it should be. I'm really relieved and I don't even know you.

peninkpaper · 04/02/2023 19:05

Bide your time & gather your evidence. Personally, I would have him followed by a friend whose car DH wouldn't necessarily recognise/ know. Don't jump in straight away. I would let him dig his own grave.

Original poster
heartbroken26 · 04/02/2023 19:07

Justleaveitblankthen · 04/02/2023 19:01

Was his friend's Insta story from today? Could you tell by your husband's clothes/hair anything else that it is a same-day pic?
The only reason I ask is because of his "panicked look." Does his friend often post photos of his Golfing pals, or is it an unusual occurance? Could hubby have confided in him and asked him to post a pic (sent him one)
Seems unlikely though.. Is it unusual that your friend visits you on a Saturday and he put two and two together?

What's she doing now by the way? Did she speak with your husband there, or sneak out?
Sorry about all the questions 😬
Oh, the golf clubs - I wouldn't mention them at all - if he had been cheating, he would have simply said he forgot them, borrowed a pals and dropped them off again afterwards..

It was posted around lunch time in the clothes he usually wears for golf. So I suppose it could be an old post as he usually wears the same thing. My friend has stayed out, she's single so likes to get out and mingle. I don't think he would think it unusual for my friend to visit no x

OP posts:
Original poster
heartbroken26 · 04/02/2023 19:09

lizzielizard · 04/02/2023 19:04

All's well that ends well. So sorry you've had this traumatic day but seems to me that all is as it should be. I'm really relieved and I don't even know you.

Thank you, that's so sweet. DH just text to say he's having another pint then will fetch our curry on his way home. I'm hoping I can put all this behind me x

OP posts:
Passthechocolatesplease · 04/02/2023 19:09

It really helps if those posting answers took time to read the OP’s updates before commenting, otherwise they’re totally irrelevant!

Inkpotlover · 04/02/2023 19:15

heartbroken26 · 04/02/2023 18:11

I'm beginning to doubt my friend! Someone posted earlier that she got to me quite quickly, and she did! I didn't think too much at the time as I had other thoughts on my mind.... some of you are pointing the finger at her stirring drama. Maybe, I really don't want to believe that though? What would she be getting out of it?

Perhaps she genuinely was worried he was cheating but it's more likely she either doesn't like him and is quick to imagine the worst about him or she's a bit jealous of your marriage and relished seeing you have a massive wobble about him. The test will be her reaction when you tell her about the IG pic – if she says sorry for jumping to the wrong conclusion, let it go. If she doesn't and continues to question his behaviour, then you'll know she's stirring.

Hobbi · 04/02/2023 19:17

peninkpaper · 04/02/2023 19:05

Bide your time & gather your evidence. Personally, I would have him followed by a friend whose car DH wouldn't necessarily recognise/ know. Don't jump in straight away. I would let him dig his own grave.

Have you read any of the posts? Are you serious?