Could he be having an affair???

[heartbroken26]

Name changed for this!! I don't even know why im posting!! I don't know anything yet?! Im hoping it's all innocent!!

Today my husband told me he was going off to golf! No problem, it's a hobby he's taken up in the last 6 months and goes off most weekends! He always said it's a good de stresser as we have 2 children under 5, one of which is an baby. So of course I've had no reason to suspect anything untoward!!

My friend text me saying she's seen him with a woman shopping in the next town over!!! She doesn't think he saw her.

I don't know what to do, say, do I ring him? Do I confront him when he's home? I'm hoping my friend is wrong 😩

Could be photoshopped, or an old photo.

Or it could actually be the doppelganger playing golf with his friends and the real DH at Swindon outlet.

Have you tried sniffing his golf socks?

We had a family member have friends cover for an affair, it’s not unusual for them to have friends help them out if the friend is also having an affair.
Not taking golf clubs and the reaction to the shopping bargain comment would still have me worried

Not taking golf clubs and the reaction to the shopping bargain comment would still have me worried

There we go!

(OP's perception of his reaction*)

Such a relief. Ignore the posters who are clearly hoping he's having an affair. Sounds like you've got nothing to worry about x

Yes. I am honestly telling you I have never in my life sniffed clothing. I'm not in the habit of going around sniffing random clothing. If I've worn something then I wash it, same with any other clothes in my household. I certainly don't take myself off to other peoples wardrobes for a sniff then still be unsure enough that I arrange for someone to stalk them round bars and houses. Either believe him or don't.

To the posters mocking me I really hope it helps made your sad lives that bit better! And a massive thank you to all the lovely posters

Is it likely he could have played golf and then gone out afterwards with this woman?

If your friend is a good friend she's unlikely to be lying to you. I'd remain suspicious personally.

I'm beginning to doubt my friend! Someone posted earlier that she got to me quite quickly, and she did! I didn't think too much at the time as I had other thoughts on my mind.... some of you are pointing the finger at her stirring drama. Maybe, I really don't want to believe that though? What would she be getting out of it?

@badgergirly
So:
he absolutely did take his clubs;
he definitely didn't wear the clothes OPs friend saw him in;
he's updated OP on all his whereabouts, subsequently verified;
but...
he's got a time travelling accomplice who will photoshop an instagram post for him?
When my husband stopped playing rugby, I bought him a set of golf clubs so he could take up something else to get him out of my way on a Saturday.

Suggesting that a post is fake.

So he's been out all day "playing golf" (or not as the case may be.) He's now gone to the pub. Tomorrow he may be helping somebody fit a kitchen.

Why are you not jumping up and down asking him when he is going to spend time with you and the kids? Whether or not he's having an affair, he sounds like a selfish knob and a shit husband and dad.

A round of golf on a Saturday morning will likely take 4-5 hours plus getting ready before and after. Do you think he helicoptered to the retail park between holes?

Look even if it ever happened that he cheated, it’s not the end of your family. Most men stray but want to stay. They just hope you don’t find out. They don’t go looking for a way out of marriage like a lot of women do. For the ladies it’s an exit affair for the men it’s an ego boost. So if you’re smart you can manipulate the situation to suit you and your kids and not divorce in haste, but by the sounds of it he’s not playing you and if he ever dies, grieve and move on but not into poverty. Try and be as mature and calculating as you possibly can. Make your life a good one and not one of poverty.

OP i very much doubt if your husband is having an affair that the few snatched hours he could get away would be to take her shopping.

😳

What time did she message you that she'd seen him?

Depends where you are in FoD but it's only an hour approx from there to Swindon outlet, so not out of the question that she left there after sending text and came straight to yours.

Sounds like she was mistaken about seeing your DH though

Aw OP pour yourself a glass of whatever and leave the vipers to it x

Twice I have suspected DH of an affair.

He kept disappearing for longer than necessary, an hour to put fuel in the car etc. Phone calls when I was in the shower and out in the garden
He was organising a surprise party!

The second time someone sent me a message that she had seen him having dinner in another town with a woman. (It took a month for this friend to pluck up the courage to tell me) She said they hugged and then left arm in arm.
It was his sister who had lived out of the country for 15 years!

Sometimes it genuinely is innocent

Op do you trust your friend? Personally reading this I'm more inclined to say she's up to something. Why is she now taking the investigation as her own?

But OP you said he looked panicked when your friend mentioned the outlet. I truly hope he isn’t having an affair but I wouldn’t be quick to believe or dismiss the possibility of an affair. Keep alert.

Cambridge Dictionary says: Where are exclamation marks used and why?
Exclamation marks are used at the end of statements when a strong emotion is being expressed (good and bad – surprise, excitement or delight, but also anger, fear or shock), and tell a reader to add emphasis to a sentence. They might also suggest that a speaker is shouting.

I'm so sorry you are feeling this way OP and I truly hope it turns out to be nothing!

Ok, I was being facetious. Though I did have an affair, and we didn't go to Swindon.

@heartbroken26 I'm glad you were more or less certainly mistaken (as I knew you were!) I'm afraid your friend is either unable to recognise people (entirely possible in a busy shopping centre, especially as she was in a shop when she saw this man outside a shop), or she's a cowbag shit-stirrer. My money is on the latter, because it's such a shitty thing to tell your "best friend" otherwise. You'd at least want to mull it over and perhaps do a bit of digging yourself before saying anything that could blow someone's life apart (as a whole bunch of people on here clearly enjoy doing, so it's not at all impossible).

Could your friend fancy your husband? Could she be jealous of you having a good marriage, or jealous of you for some other reason (job, money, children - anything?) Is she a drama queen? Could she just be ... not as nice as you thought she was?

He wasn't wearing the clothes by which the 'friend' identified him. He is on an instagram post, playing golf. Why are you desperate for him to be cheating, and how do you think he managed it?

I sniff clothes all the time. Can’t be too careful and sometimes you can get away with wearing something another day.

And I sniff my DH’s clothes sometimes because although he is a very tidy man he does have a habit of dumping clean clothes that had been laid out in the bed onto the floor if he can’t be arsed putting them away at night time.

In fact, I’d say you’re in the minority if you don’t sniff clothes. Carry on sniffing OP!

Do you think you're friend saw anyone, or was she just stirring to split you up?