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Relationships

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Could he be having an affair???

972 replies

heartbroken26 · 04/02/2023 11:41

Name changed for this!! I don't even know why im posting!! I don't know anything yet?! Im hoping it's all innocent!!

Today my husband told me he was going off to golf! No problem, it's a hobby he's taken up in the last 6 months and goes off most weekends! He always said it's a good de stresser as we have 2 children under 5, one of which is an baby. So of course I've had no reason to suspect anything untoward!!

My friend text me saying she's seen him with a woman shopping in the next town over!!! She doesn't think he saw her.

I don't know what to do, say, do I ring him? Do I confront him when he's home? I'm hoping my friend is wrong 😩

OP posts:
Inkpotlover · 04/02/2023 17:11

heartbroken26 · 04/02/2023 17:00

She's just called me. He's in the pub! I feel a sense of relief but it doesn't explain her seeing him earlier? I am now beginning to believe that she's mistaken. To those bashing him for going out he's not out all the time. It's not usual for him to go the pub. It's because it's the 6 nations. Yes, he plays golf but he works 60 hour hour weeks and works hard to provide for me and the boys so don't begrudge him a social life.

I'm glad he's where he said he was going to be. Your friend is very suss though. She lobs this grenade into your life about seeing him with another woman - and told you she was 100% sure it was him – and now scuttles off to the pub to check on his whereabouts. Are you sure she's not after him herself? Or – and I really hope this is just my overactive imagination reaching, but since being on MN I've learned the truth is always stranger than fiction – is there any chance she is actually the other woman and was out with him at the shopping centre but they had a row and she's slipped you a version of the truth you out of spite to blow your marriage up? Just because of what you said about her mentioning the shopping and his reaction.

Scooby5kids · 04/02/2023 17:12

I hope you can get reassurance that this is all a big misunderstanding. I think you need to check internet backing x

YourGazeHitsTheSideOfMyFace · 04/02/2023 17:12

You’ll be on alert for anything out of the ordinary now, at least, OP, so if there is something going on you’ll soon notice. But if it was me, I would have just come right out and said ‘Sandra says she saw you in the designer outlet in Swindon with another woman this morning’ and just talk to him about it.

monsteramunch · 04/02/2023 17:15

Yes, he plays golf but he works 60 hour hour weeks and works hard to provide for me and the boys so don't begrudge him a social life.

If he's working 60 hour weeks, so barely seeing them during the week due to work hours and their bedtimes, I think it's a bit sad he wants to spend most weekends away from his wife and kids rather than enjoying time together tbh 😞

SquishyGloopyBum · 04/02/2023 17:16

Is his tracker back on op?

He didn't take his clubs to golf though?

Something is amiss but it's hard to know. Maybe try look at his phone when you can get it.

badgergirly · 04/02/2023 17:17

KimMumsnet · 04/02/2023 17:05

Hello, all. We've had reports of lots of trollhunting on this thread so wanted to remind you that trollhunting is against our Talk Guidelines. If you do have doubts about any poster, please report them straight to us at HQ instead of calling them out on the thread. Thanks.

Can I ask
What troll hunting means?

heartbroken26 · 04/02/2023 17:18

Scooby5kids · 04/02/2023 17:12

I hope you can get reassurance that this is all a big misunderstanding. I think you need to check internet backing x

I don't have access to his banking to check sadly. We both have our own accounts and then transfer to a joint for bills

OP posts:
DemelzaandRoss · 04/02/2023 17:20

I feel so sad for you that you willingly accept your DH would rather spend his weekend with others, rather than being with his DW & DC.

salcombebabe · 04/02/2023 17:20

He still didn’t take his golf clubs though OP 😥

Eastereggsboxedupready · 04/02/2023 17:21

Have you checked the tracker ap? Very weird if it is back on..

butterpuffed · 04/02/2023 17:21

Anon300 · 04/02/2023 16:32

Is your friend going to wear a disguise to follow him?

Good thinking . If she's disguised as Poirot nobody will notice .

heartbroken26 · 04/02/2023 17:21

Eastereggsboxedupready · 04/02/2023 17:21

Have you checked the tracker ap? Very weird if it is back on..

It's still off?

OP posts:
Pinkishpurpleyblue · 04/02/2023 17:24

To me him going to the pub proves nothing. Hes potentially already spent the afternoon with the affair partner and this is a genuine reason to be out of the house, probably saves him having to be duplicitous all evening.

DillDanding · 04/02/2023 17:27

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Benjispruce4 · 04/02/2023 17:30

Someone who works 60hrs a week volunteering to help fit a mates kitchen. Very odd. Surely he’s say not this weekend, I’m out all Saturday and night and need to spend some time with my family…..

Benjispruce4 · 04/02/2023 17:30

I wonder if the friend is the OW and has threatened to out their affair.

GraceUnderPresure · 04/02/2023 17:32

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Poor OP can't win here though can she? If she hadn't been posting updates she'd have been criticised for abandoning the thread but as she has she's criticised for posting! 🤦‍♀️

Benjispruce4 · 04/02/2023 17:33

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Bog · 04/02/2023 17:36

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If you want to be a detective then do some proper training/work for the position....plus you will get paid for it.

AmwajAnnie · 04/02/2023 17:38

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Benjispruce4 · 04/02/2023 17:38

😂Good idea!

EmilyGilmoresSass · 04/02/2023 17:38

heartbroken26 · 04/02/2023 16:20

No clothes in the garage, she said he was wearing a black vans t shirt..., I've just checked, his is hanging in the wardrobe... smells unworn. Oh god!! Have I got myself all in a tizz over nothing!

So he spends the whole day away from you and your children, owns a t-shirt matching what your friend saw him wearing, you sniffed it and feel it smells unworn (too far btw) and he came home with a bag, looked panicked when you mentioned your friend and the store in question. Then fucked off back out to meet his mates, so you and your equally stalker mate feel he isn't cheating because he at least did that (which proves in no way he wasn't lying earlier) I mean really? Wake up and smell the coffee. Firstly, your sniffing and stalking is weird, secondly, there's more to suggest something is odd than that it isn't. I did have sympathy in my last post. However, I've now lost both sympathy and respect.

ShakespearesBlister · 04/02/2023 17:38

If the shirt your friend says he was wearing is still in the wardrobe then it does sound like she could be mistaken and there's someone else who looks very much like him. Did he take any golf clubs out of the car when he got home? Surely to play golf you need to take clubs.

Bog · 04/02/2023 17:40

Honestly, some of the posters on this thread and others. I wonder if they're trying to become admins on here by playing Detective Dickhead on every single thread.

mattyd · 04/02/2023 17:41

Sounds like she was mistaken, it was some other guy who doesn't feel the cold.

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