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Original poster

Could he be having an affair???

972 replies

heartbroken26 · 04/02/2023 11:41

Name changed for this!! I don't even know why im posting!! I don't know anything yet?! Im hoping it's all innocent!!

Today my husband told me he was going off to golf! No problem, it's a hobby he's taken up in the last 6 months and goes off most weekends! He always said it's a good de stresser as we have 2 children under 5, one of which is an baby. So of course I've had no reason to suspect anything untoward!!

My friend text me saying she's seen him with a woman shopping in the next town over!!! She doesn't think he saw her.

I don't know what to do, say, do I ring him? Do I confront him when he's home? I'm hoping my friend is wrong 😩

OP posts:
Inkpotlover · 04/02/2023 16:42

How much do you trust your friend, OP? Is there any reason she'd want to cause a rift between you and your DH by making it up that she saw him? How do they get on usually?

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 04/02/2023 16:46

Very strange as I’ve known men to go to all sorts of lengths to have affairs (women too) and lie through their teeth because of it.

I’ve also had friends hate my partners and say horrible things, even lies sometimes, so I can’t say either way which scenario is true, sorry OP.

Loafbeginsat60 · 04/02/2023 16:46

Hope it was all a mistake OP and your friend saw someone who looks like dh.

TheChosenTwo · 04/02/2023 16:51

What exactly did he take out of the boot of the car?

Noodlehen · 04/02/2023 16:51

Bloody hell it’s so frustrating how people don’t read the thread and ask questions that have been answered two posts previously 🙄

hope that it is all a misunderstanding OP

MysteryBelle · 04/02/2023 16:52

I’d go myself to the pub and have a quick look in for myself. Your friend may not be too trustworthy either. Is this thread on the up and up?

DuchessOfSausage · 04/02/2023 16:52

As such, you're going to have to give us more before we can hang him. What's he like with the kids? Does he do the dishes?
What difference would that make, @thedancingbear ? He never seems to be at home.

Iwannabeacrocodilehunter · 04/02/2023 16:53

Are you certain friend isn’t involved somehow and trying to get one up on your DH? Seems odd for her to now go after him to the pub. I’d rather she stay out of it and I’d ask him wife to husband.

Comeonbarbiebrianharvey · 04/02/2023 16:55

Look for the clothes your friend saw him in, I.e. if in wardrobe or laundry it probably wasn't him.

Panama2 · 04/02/2023 16:55

So until our friend “saw him” you didn’t have any suspicions about what he was doing? He come back not wearing what she described complete with golf clubs and now she is going to spy on him at the pub?

InFiveMins · 04/02/2023 16:56

Surely if pub is a local one where people know you both he is going to risk seeing her there?

MysteryBelle · 04/02/2023 16:57

I think your friend is a little tool enthusiastic. And she doesn’t seem to want you along for the ‘investigations’.

MysteryBelle · 04/02/2023 16:57

too not tool!

Passthechocolatesplease · 04/02/2023 16:58

Hi OP, hopefully it looks as if all might be well, you sound lovely so I do hope so.

I can’t resist mentioning that you are completely correct in your use of an exclamation mark, they are not just used for lighthearted humour they are intended to indicate strong feelings and convey emotion, as well as to indicate shouting or high volume. So you were spot on in your use of them to indicate anger, shock and concern.

Original poster
heartbroken26 · 04/02/2023 17:00

She's just called me. He's in the pub! I feel a sense of relief but it doesn't explain her seeing him earlier? I am now beginning to believe that she's mistaken. To those bashing him for going out he's not out all the time. It's not usual for him to go the pub. It's because it's the 6 nations. Yes, he plays golf but he works 60 hour hour weeks and works hard to provide for me and the boys so don't begrudge him a social life.

OP posts:
Original poster
heartbroken26 · 04/02/2023 17:02

Passthechocolatesplease · 04/02/2023 16:58

Hi OP, hopefully it looks as if all might be well, you sound lovely so I do hope so.

I can’t resist mentioning that you are completely correct in your use of an exclamation mark, they are not just used for lighthearted humour they are intended to indicate strong feelings and convey emotion, as well as to indicate shouting or high volume. So you were spot on in your use of them to indicate anger, shock and concern.

Thank you! I'm so glad a few people have mentioned that I am using them in the correct context, I began to get worried that I've been embarrassing myself for years using them incorrectly. Although I know I do have a habit of overusing them.

OP posts:
whatadoodledo · 04/02/2023 17:03

heartbroken26 · 04/02/2023 17:00

She's just called me. He's in the pub! I feel a sense of relief but it doesn't explain her seeing him earlier? I am now beginning to believe that she's mistaken. To those bashing him for going out he's not out all the time. It's not usual for him to go the pub. It's because it's the 6 nations. Yes, he plays golf but he works 60 hour hour weeks and works hard to provide for me and the boys so don't begrudge him a social life.

So when do you get a break?

JudgeRudy · 04/02/2023 17:03

offyoufuckcuntychops · 04/02/2023 13:12

It's weird how keen people are to leap to "he's having an affair - LTB". Nobody even knows if the friend actually saw the OP's husband or whether the friend is short sighted/a troublemaking dick/incapable of recognising people (I can't recognise people out of context, and often think that someone is someone else).

Well yes, just because he's with a woman doesn't mean he's having an affair with her....but he's lied about being at golf and he's switched of the tracker but still using his phone. At the very least he's up to no good...id say probabilitu is he IS having an affair, probably has 'feelings' for her too to miss the match for a few hours with her.
But I agree with gathering evidence first and not jumping to conclusions.

YourGazeHitsTheSideOfMyFace · 04/02/2023 17:04

heartbroken26 · 04/02/2023 17:00

She's just called me. He's in the pub! I feel a sense of relief but it doesn't explain her seeing him earlier? I am now beginning to believe that she's mistaken. To those bashing him for going out he's not out all the time. It's not usual for him to go the pub. It's because it's the 6 nations. Yes, he plays golf but he works 60 hour hour weeks and works hard to provide for me and the boys so don't begrudge him a social life.

Have you been to the Swindon designer outlet, OP? As I said in my post hours ago, it is huge, and heaving on a Saturday, thousands of people there. I can’t find my own husband in the crowds, let alone reliably spot someone else’s fleetingly from within a shop.

In the absence of any other evidence I would be inclined to believe all is well and your friend is either a shit stirrer, a drama llama, or has designs on your husband.

if indeed any of this is real. You’d probably go to McArthur Glen in Bridgend from the Forest, not to Swindon.

MNHQ
KimMumsnet · 04/02/2023 17:05

Hello, all. We've had reports of lots of trollhunting on this thread so wanted to remind you that trollhunting is against our Talk Guidelines. If you do have doubts about any poster, please report them straight to us at HQ instead of calling them out on the thread. Thanks.

Original poster
heartbroken26 · 04/02/2023 17:06

I've never been to Swindon outlet, but I have just checked google maps and the Bridgend one is from further away? And I've never even heard of it to be honest

OP posts:
Original poster
heartbroken26 · 04/02/2023 17:07

KimMumsnet · 04/02/2023 17:05

Hello, all. We've had reports of lots of trollhunting on this thread so wanted to remind you that trollhunting is against our Talk Guidelines. If you do have doubts about any poster, please report them straight to us at HQ instead of calling them out on the thread. Thanks.

Thank you Mumsnet! Hopefully you can vouch for me that I've been a member here for years

OP posts:
Blueblell · 04/02/2023 17:07

It sounds like mistaken identity and your friend jumped the gun. Maybe keep an eye on things but he could have a local doppelgänger

Original poster
heartbroken26 · 04/02/2023 17:10

I don't believe my friend would lie, or do anything malicious. I believe she's mistaken, or at least I'm hoping that, I'll see how he acts when he's home. I'm also going to 'drop' in to the friends house he's helping with the kitchen to be sure! Thank you all for your lovely replies and comments, I will keep you all updated

OP posts:
SadadassoSad · 04/02/2023 17:10

MamaNewtNewt · 04/02/2023 13:49

Ignore the people calling you out on using exclamation marks OP. They are used for emphasis and how often they are used is a personal preference. People calling the OP out on this and insinuating this is false need to take a look at themselves. Even if you think it's false maybe show a bit of empathy and operate on the basis that it might be true, with a real human being struggling with a horrible situation.

Some people really do think their constant cynicism makes them look clever, frankly it's boring and an excuse to take out the frustrations of their own lives on an anonymous person on the internet. Very clever.

Agree . I use exclamation marks to emphasise a point and use them often !
Definitely think it was not necessary to mention grammar when OP is so stressed.