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Original poster

Could he be having an affair???

972 replies

heartbroken26 · 04/02/2023 11:41

Name changed for this!! I don't even know why im posting!! I don't know anything yet?! Im hoping it's all innocent!!

Today my husband told me he was going off to golf! No problem, it's a hobby he's taken up in the last 6 months and goes off most weekends! He always said it's a good de stresser as we have 2 children under 5, one of which is an baby. So of course I've had no reason to suspect anything untoward!!

My friend text me saying she's seen him with a woman shopping in the next town over!!! She doesn't think he saw her.

I don't know what to do, say, do I ring him? Do I confront him when he's home? I'm hoping my friend is wrong 😩

OP posts:
AllOfThemWitches · 04/02/2023 16:29

MayThe4th · 04/02/2023 16:21

Ah yes, nothing like a thread that is playing out” in realtime. Mmm.

Indeed. Let's be honest, most of us would just have a conversation with the men we share our lives with, in this situation.

Benjispruce4 · 04/02/2023 16:29

I get the impression he left some clubs behind. DH sometimes does this as he has some duplicates or clubs for certain conditions.

muddlingthrou · 04/02/2023 16:29

He doesn't act like a man with 2 young children! Whatever's going on, I think he's taking advantage of you OP.

Benjispruce4 · 04/02/2023 16:30

If I was her I’d be watching his face intently not updating MN.

MayThe4th · 04/02/2023 16:31

I’m amazed the OP could have noticed a “fleeting” shifty look of panic on the dh’s face given she has spent the entire duration of the time he and the friend have been there updating mn.

thistimelastweek · 04/02/2023 16:31

For some reason I've got this picture of Gavin's mum and Dawn in my head.
I think it came to me when the friend offered to follow the husband.

gold22 · 04/02/2023 16:31

Did you not check if his clothes were there or not when your friend first told you what he was wearing?

GraceUnderPresure · 04/02/2023 16:31

Your friend should say she was sure she saw him at Swindon today, and ask if he's got a twin or something? His reaction would surely tell whether she's mistaken? Also if the clothes she said he was wearing are clean in the wardrobe I'd assume she's just seen someone who looked like him.

Anon300 · 04/02/2023 16:32

Is your friend going to wear a disguise to follow him?

AaaaaandBreathe · 04/02/2023 16:32

RunRunRunRunRunaway · 04/02/2023 16:16

Oh. Thank you, honestly. I didn't know, I thought was a way of showing anger, shock, concern. I so appreciate you letting me know. Even though my grammar should be the last thing on my mind. But thank you for saying it in a kind way

Bless you, OP. I know you have much bigger things to worry about right now, but thank you for not taking what I wrote as a personal attack.

If it's any comfort, you're not alone in over-using exclamation marks. It's become a 'thing' over recent years, but that's not your fault at all.

And I really hope you find the answers you need to your dilemma. You deserve honesty at the very least. A very unmumsnetty hug and Flowers for you.

What you told @heartbroken26 is incorrect though. Exclamation marks are not normally used for lighthearted humour, they are to convey strong emotions.

But yes, they have been very overused here.

thedancingbear · 04/02/2023 16:32

Look, either he was playing golf, in which case he should've been spending time with his family.

Or he wasn't playing golf, in which case he's a cheat.

So he's a scumbag either way.

LTB! LTB!

runlittlemonster · 04/02/2023 16:32

Affair or not, what the fuck’s he doing ‘going off’ to do his hobby ‘most weekends’ while you’re at home with two under 5? Why do women put up with this shit, I despair.

parlourb · 04/02/2023 16:34

runlittlemonster · 04/02/2023 16:32

Affair or not, what the fuck’s he doing ‘going off’ to do his hobby ‘most weekends’ while you’re at home with two under 5? Why do women put up with this shit, I despair.

According to a PP it's him just having an "independent social life" . He's fucked off to the pub now as well apparently

Rach247 · 04/02/2023 16:34

heartbroken26 · 04/02/2023 16:20

No clothes in the garage, she said he was wearing a black vans t shirt..., I've just checked, his is hanging in the wardrobe... smells unworn. Oh god!! Have I got myself all in a tizz over nothing!

Seems fairly conclusive it’s a mix up!thank goodness. Hope you feel a bit calmer.

LifeExperience · 04/02/2023 16:34

@runlittlemonster I hear you. Men wouldn't do this shit if women didn't let them get away with it.

Original poster
heartbroken26 · 04/02/2023 16:34

thistimelastweek · 04/02/2023 16:31

For some reason I've got this picture of Gavin's mum and Dawn in my head.
I think it came to me when the friend offered to follow the husband.

Despite my worry, this made me crack a smile! I love Gavin and Stacey

OP posts:
badgergirly · 04/02/2023 16:36

@heartbroken26 what's happening now?

Original poster
heartbroken26 · 04/02/2023 16:36

Right, so friend is going to leave shortly and just go into the pub he says he's going to! She's not going to wear a disguise. It wouldn't be unusual for people to be in the local pub so he won't think much if he sees her

OP posts:
monsteramunch · 04/02/2023 16:37

No problem, it's a hobby he's taken up in the last 6 months and goes off most weekends! He always said it's a good de stresser as we have 2 children under 5, one of which is an baby.

Presuming he's working all week so doesn't see them all day, isn't it pretty shitty that he wants to spend most weekends doing a hobby while you continue to take care of them solo?

OrlandointheWilderness · 04/02/2023 16:38

Is she absolutely, 100% sure it was him?!? Does she have any reason to not be honest!?!

MayThe4th · 04/02/2023 16:39

I think the friend is a stirrer.

She has designs on the dh, so she made up a story to trick the OP into believing that her husband is having an affair.

She will absolutely call the OP to say that he wasn’t in the pub.

BillyMack · 04/02/2023 16:39

What bag did he put in the garage? Are there now two sets of golf clubs in there?

AaaaaandBreathe · 04/02/2023 16:40

I really don't see how there is any evidence he is cheating. I seriously doubt he would have changed out of his vans t-shirt then sneakily hung it up incase someone saw him? There are thousands of people walking about with t-shirts like that every day. And surely it would smell like perfume.

Does your friend have a partner? Is she quite dramatic usually?

LemonTreeSkies · 04/02/2023 16:41

BillyMack · 04/02/2023 16:39

What bag did he put in the garage? Are there now two sets of golf clubs in there?

He put the bag he took golfing back in the garage. The OP already said he took his bag.

NightmarebeforeEaster · 04/02/2023 16:42

Taking up a hobby and attending it a few times is one of the ways cheaters hide their track. They genuinely sign up and go, build a routine and then they TELL you they're going to the hobby when they are shagging their AP. Cheaters exchange tips about this on r/adultery on Reddit. It's a scum fest there, be warned reading their posts is sickening.

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