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Original poster

Could he be having an affair???

972 replies

heartbroken26 · 04/02/2023 11:41

Name changed for this!! I don't even know why im posting!! I don't know anything yet?! Im hoping it's all innocent!!

Today my husband told me he was going off to golf! No problem, it's a hobby he's taken up in the last 6 months and goes off most weekends! He always said it's a good de stresser as we have 2 children under 5, one of which is an baby. So of course I've had no reason to suspect anything untoward!!

My friend text me saying she's seen him with a woman shopping in the next town over!!! She doesn't think he saw her.

I don't know what to do, say, do I ring him? Do I confront him when he's home? I'm hoping my friend is wrong 😩

OP posts:
CrackersCheeseAndWinePlease · 04/02/2023 16:06

heartbroken26 · 04/02/2023 16:06

He's leaving for the pub shortly. He's been talking to me and my friend normally. Doesn't appear to be shady, he's just mentioned he may have to help a friend fit a kitchen tomorrow.... could this be another excuse to see this woman!!

Is he a kitchen fitter? If not I wouldn't believe a word

BucketofTeaMassiveCake · 04/02/2023 16:07

Too late now, but unless I've got the wrong end of the stick, did you say that his golf clubs were in the garage? I would have got the golf bag and put it in the sitting room, asked him how the game was and then mentioned, "Oh, looks like you left your golf bag at home! Did you borrow a spare set?" and see his response.

A photo taken by your friend would have been handy too.

FWIW my BIL has a doppelganger who lives in the next town, wears similar clothes and even drives a very similar car which makes one double-take.

Benjispruce4 · 04/02/2023 16:07

Is your friend still sure it was him having seen him? Mention where she went in your ‘normal conversation’

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 04/02/2023 16:08

🌸

CrackersCheeseAndWinePlease · 04/02/2023 16:08

Does he ever spend any time with you and the kids? Where do you fit into his busy weekend ls?

nc1013 · 04/02/2023 16:08

How distinctive were the clothes your friend described seeing him in? As she was a bit of a distance away I'm assume it was more like "blue jeans & navy jacket" - if so, I'm not surprised she described items he owns.

Did you not check if they were missing from the house before he returned?

I'm starting to believe he's actually been at the golf and your friend saw someone from a distance who looks a bit like your DH.

I also doubt many people having an affair meet at an outlet mall. Surely it would be at her house or a hotel, or even a nice restaurant. Doubt a wander around an outlet centre is worth risking your marriage for....especially if this has only been going on a few months and they've only had a few hours together

Benjispruce4 · 04/02/2023 16:08

This reply has been deleted

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CrackersCheeseAndWinePlease · 04/02/2023 16:08

Weekends*

Hobbi · 04/02/2023 16:08

BucketofTeaMassiveCake · 04/02/2023 16:07

Too late now, but unless I've got the wrong end of the stick, did you say that his golf clubs were in the garage? I would have got the golf bag and put it in the sitting room, asked him how the game was and then mentioned, "Oh, looks like you left your golf bag at home! Did you borrow a spare set?" and see his response.

A photo taken by your friend would have been handy too.

FWIW my BIL has a doppelganger who lives in the next town, wears similar clothes and even drives a very similar car which makes one double-take.

He took his golf bag with him. There were a few random clubs, not in a bag, left in the garage. Similar to the garage of every golfer.

Original poster
heartbroken26 · 04/02/2023 16:09

Ok so my friend has just mentioned in conversation a bargain she bought today at 'place name' he looked panicked for a split second then changed the subject.

OP posts:
Rosellee · 04/02/2023 16:10

heartbroken26 · 04/02/2023 16:06

He's leaving for the pub shortly. He's been talking to me and my friend normally. Doesn't appear to be shady, he's just mentioned he may have to help a friend fit a kitchen tomorrow.... could this be another excuse to see this woman!!

Some people are so good at compartmentalising that when they lie they don't really feel that they're lying. That's why they look so convincing.

Hobbi · 04/02/2023 16:11

WorldCuppa · 04/02/2023 15:55

It's embarrassing how much people want the man to be having an affair.
Your friend was mistaken and saw a guy that looked like your husband.
You husband arrives in golf clothes with his golf clubs and has a shower. Not at all suspicious.
Sounds like you have a friend problem not a DH problem.

You're correct. However, this is MN and her husband has the audacity to have an independent social life, so he might as well be cheating.

ClaireEclair · 04/02/2023 16:11

It sounds like your friend has made a mistake. Poor man! Please don’t snoop through his phone if your friend “spotting” him was the only suspicious activity you have to go on. People make mistakes. My eyesight is terrible! I have often walked past friends without recognising them. And I once mistook a white bag for a dead dog. Went running up to it almost crying before I realised what it was!

Tratjymp · 04/02/2023 16:11

heartbroken26 · 04/02/2023 16:09

Ok so my friend has just mentioned in conversation a bargain she bought today at 'place name' he looked panicked for a split second then changed the subject.

Friend may have blown it there.

Fedupofbeingcold · 04/02/2023 16:11

Can you check in the wardrobe whether the clothes your friend thinks she saw him in are in there?

JML001 · 04/02/2023 16:12

ClaireEclair · 04/02/2023 16:11

It sounds like your friend has made a mistake. Poor man! Please don’t snoop through his phone if your friend “spotting” him was the only suspicious activity you have to go on. People make mistakes. My eyesight is terrible! I have often walked past friends without recognising them. And I once mistook a white bag for a dead dog. Went running up to it almost crying before I realised what it was!

🤣🤣🤣

Benjispruce4 · 04/02/2023 16:13

And you’re updating MN while this is transpiring??

MysteryBelle · 04/02/2023 16:14

ClaireEclair · 04/02/2023 16:11

It sounds like your friend has made a mistake. Poor man! Please don’t snoop through his phone if your friend “spotting” him was the only suspicious activity you have to go on. People make mistakes. My eyesight is terrible! I have often walked past friends without recognising them. And I once mistook a white bag for a dead dog. Went running up to it almost crying before I realised what it was!

😅this is hilarious

Rosellee · 04/02/2023 16:14

Benjispruce4 · 04/02/2023 16:13

And you’re updating MN while this is transpiring??

Easy to do on a phone.

Benjispruce4 · 04/02/2023 16:16

Quite rude to be on your phone in conversation with friend and DH though.

thedancingbear · 04/02/2023 16:16

Much as we would love your DH to be cheating, the evidence is wafer thin here.

If there was anything else to go on, then it would be a different story.

As such, you're going to have to give us more before we can hang him. What's he like with the kids? Does he do the dishes?

RunRunRunRunRunaway · 04/02/2023 16:16

Oh. Thank you, honestly. I didn't know, I thought was a way of showing anger, shock, concern. I so appreciate you letting me know. Even though my grammar should be the last thing on my mind. But thank you for saying it in a kind way

Bless you, OP. I know you have much bigger things to worry about right now, but thank you for not taking what I wrote as a personal attack.

If it's any comfort, you're not alone in over-using exclamation marks. It's become a 'thing' over recent years, but that's not your fault at all.

And I really hope you find the answers you need to your dilemma. You deserve honesty at the very least. A very unmumsnetty hug and Flowers for you.

Rosellee · 04/02/2023 16:16

Benjispruce4 · 04/02/2023 16:16

Quite rude to be on your phone in conversation with friend and DH though.

That's true.

MysteryBelle · 04/02/2023 16:16

Benjispruce4 · 04/02/2023 16:13

And you’re updating MN while this is transpiring??

And we should be thinking up ways for her to find out the truth 😀 what are things to do in a situation like this. I’ve seen people suggest a tracker air tag or some creative questions. I can’t think of anything right now.

Benjispruce4 · 04/02/2023 16:17

Just bloody confront him op!!!!

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