Do you trust your husband?

[mummaontheskoolrun]

I'm having a few trust issues with my husband.

I'm anxious when he's on his phone/what's app. I'm fully aware these are my issues.

We have kids, house and a life together so it's not as easy to walk away as some people will suggest.

I'm asking out of interest how many women fully trust their husbands?

I'm scared he's messaging women from work. We had a rough time a few years ago when he was messaging a colleague and I found out. He swore nothing crossed the line and they were just friends but it didn't sit well with me and it made me quite ill mentally ( DH doesn't really know to the extent if effected me )

Thank you for reading.

Totally.

I would have had my husband down as totally loyal and never one to cheat. Until i found he had been sleeping with prostitutes.

Yes of course I trust him. Without trust you have sweet fuck all.

Does that mean he'll never shit on me? No. But until he does, I trust him implicitly.

I trust him 99%. The 1% is 👀

Totally this - we're 20 years married and I do trust him, but I wouldn't like this at all.

I don’t trust 100%, I wouldn’t any man- however I never snoop or would want to, it’s no way to live. Whatever someone does in the dark will come to the light/ can’t worry about maybes.

I'd never trust anyone 100%.

Never mind anyone else. Your husband has given you reason not to trust him.

Yes I trust my DH. Together for 35 years now.

OP, you need to have a talk to your DH. If he's done/doing something to make you have trust issues it needs a discussion.

Were the messages inappropriate in content, or very frequent? Or just normal chat?

To answer your question, I do trust my DH, but I also know that no one can be 100% guaranteed not to cheat. I won't worry about it unless it happens though!

Yes. I trust him. He has women work friends and women hobby friends (and men, too) AND I would say our marriage is not in a good place and we might not make it. But I still trust him (and he trusts me).

What do you mean 'Is it ok?'

What authority are you deferring to? Who do you think makes the rules about what is ok for you and what isn't? Why does it matter to you how other women feel about their husbands?

You need to validate yourself. You don't like what he's doing, and if he respects you, he'll respect that. But you're not even telling him, because you don't feel that your feelings are worthy.

I did, unwaveringly, for 20 years.
Then ten months ago I uncovered big lies, so now I do not.

But this was nothing to do with another woman.

However, the trust is still broken.

Yes, 100 percent

Chelsea?

*singing that song in my head

I wouldn’t even trust myself 100%, so no, I don’t trust anyone else fully. As someone else said, we are all human and can mess up from time to time. We just hope the mess ups will be minor, like forgetting to water the plants.

Have you discussed your feelings with your husband? He did do something to dent your trust in him, so it’s no wonder you feel the way you do. Do you trust what he says about his previous colleague?

These days, @mummaontheskoolrun basically trust no one.

I have male and female friends. My husband has male and female friends. We had male and female friends before we were married, we have male and female friends now.

We trust each other. Been together 16 years now. If we didn't trust each other, we wouldn't be together.

I find it quite sad and weird when people think that men and women can't be friends with each other. That would cut out a huge chunk of my friends.

I find it quite sad and weird when people think that men and women can't be friends with each other. That would cut out a huge chunk of my friends.

I think the number of people who absolutely think this is very small. Many people, however, seem to lack boundaries in a monogamous relationship, or at least have different values to their partner. Things like flirting, being friends with previous hookups/crushes, sharing intimate details of their relationship, secrecy, liking their bikini pics, inviting them around alone - and then dismissing your partner's concerns/worries/insecurities are reasons why sometimes people are funny about it. Bad past experience usually rather than outright rejection.

Again, it's just a bit of a straw man to say anyone who objects to x objects to all opposite sex friendships. There's usually more too it.

As you can see you’ll get a pretty one sided response on this thread. It the nicest possible way, it will mostly naturally attract people who was to say yes and gloat. But if you’re a regular on here you’ll see post after post, say in, day out of posters who don’t trust their OH.

Don’t think about what others do, set your own boundaries for your relationship, be open with your DH and don’t accept behaviour that you’re not happy with

Met three of my closest friends at work. We don’t work together anymore, but have been invited to weddings, children’s birthdays etc. I often go out for drinks with them on my own, sometimes our partners come too. They’re all male.

Would never trust anyone 100%, but I trust him enough and have never suspected him being unfaithful. It's horrible living with someone you don't trust enough

You don’t know this. All OP has said was “messaging a female colleague “. I do that all the time. I’m not doing anything wrong.

coupd he that the partner has given her reason not to trust, could be he’s not at all and she’s overreacting/controlling. You don’t know

It doesn't matter whether I trust my husband or not does it? How do these stories help you?

I trust him 100% we've been together 20 years.
My dad cheated on my mum, my paternal grandfather cheated on my grandma. Another relative was a cheater too. This always made me wary.
Thankfully DH isn't like that, he'd rather read a book 😂
I'm very lucky to have him, he puts me and the kids first. We laugh together and work well as a team. Really, we only have each other.
I've never cheated or would want to.