Dating Thread 238 - Sex, Beer and Sausage Rolls (for the lucky ones!)

[OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss]

Hi All welcome to a shiny new thread as we proceed into 2023 with support for those riding the rollercoasters of the world of dating.

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

I think it's fine to suggest a call/coffee if that's your preference. I quite like the initial messages getting to know each other but I have let it drag on a bit sometimes (4 months once!) .

How is everyone ? Any dates ?
any returning ghosters ?
(likely in January )

I’m on the bench 100% but I have drafted a FEELD profile which I might unfreeze late feb
maybe

im still too scared to face OLD , not sure why just feeling a bit too vulnerable ? Not horny either - might re start HRT

Worsy…get your HRT back girl…I think it’s a great idea to use FEELD profile. You will feel a bit better everyday.

I’m recovering from a small procedure so not planning to see MrEx until mid Feb. However…I’m really really really fed up of his negativity. I feel I am again carrying all that is happy and positive myself. I have tried to convince him alcohol is not really going to help with his current state. He finds it difficult to rise from bed in the morning as in he’s now in a permanent semi depression. I’m 100% sure he’s not arranging anything for VD and, to me, that is so wrong. He’s gone from being very detail oriented, to totally meh 😑… I know he’s battling a lot of demons right now but I need a bit of sunshine somewhere.
I don’t know whether I can go on like this. Treading on eggshells so he feels ok. Also, life is what it is right now and I can’t drop everything and run to his side. We are both undergoing transition time. My kids are in full exam mode next week and I’m not disturbing my home life.
I am pretty aware I might be back to OLD in March. But I actually feel excited about it? It’s like I needed to give myself this second chance to realise this is really not going to work long term and he’s really not the man I want to grow old with. It’s too negative and too lacking illusion and vision.

I'm just travelling to see my daughter for nearly a week.
Have heard from MrBike several times today though 😊

Mila14

oh dear
he’s got the January black dog hasn’t he ?
what’s ailing him , why is he so depressed ?

maybe You need a woman cave stint away and no comms?
you have enough on plate

Yes. I really really want to have fun Worsy. Not nurture and bend over backwards… I’m falling out of love. I’m not looking forward to seeing him… I am in a different stage in my life and he’s always trying to catch up and never really getting there…

Enjoy your family time lovely. Mr Pottery will be open handed and busy with you when he sees you again !!

I was meant to have a video call but couldn't face it (literally) when I got home from work. Planned it for the next day then he had a bad day so it's not happened. It's hard to get motivated at the start of the year.

Don’t worry. You can surely get another chance if you like this iron. There really is no obligation to do anything we don’t feel like doing really.

Meh here too

Had a date last week with someone I really fancied. It was distinctly underwhelming and rubbish. I was so disappointed. Unfortunately or fortunately we both agreed. Meh meh meh.

I have a date on Monday and another on Wednesday. These will be dates with Mr7 and Mr8.

My Match membership runs out at the end of February and won't be renewed.

Also so many bloody scammers around. They can just fuck so far off. I don't know what they think they'll get out of it 🤷‍♀️ and they're so obvious too.

Feeling so disappointed with it all but I'll go into next week positively.

What's FEELD?

@Definitelycross I had to google that one! It seems like a causal dating app

@Definitelycross good luck with the dates. I haven't had any from Match. I paused my profile after one guy sent me inappropriate photos and another accused me of ghosting him when I didn't reply to his texts quick enough!

@Mila14 sorry to hear that MrEx is depressed and bringing you down. He really should know better. Maybe when you see each other again, it will reignite the flame? I hope that you feel better soon..

@beepbeepme Have a great time away.. looking forward to hearing about that reunion with Mr Bike.. your updates keep me going!!

@Definitelycross .. feel your pain… meh too! Try Bumble, it is free, at least.. I have had mixed results..

@Thisisworsethananticpated … HRT is definitely the way to go!!

Had txts for days from MrP saying how much pain he is in with his scatia/drs appointment/medication etc. Not asked about me, though. I didn’t txt back for 2 days. I got a txt today from him saying how upset that he was that I said that he wasn’t good enough for me (I never said that) and he couldn’t see how I came to the conclusion that he had lost interest. He hasn’t said that he interested or suggested another date…??? He just seems to want to argue.. will not be txting back again … whatever he txts!!! Not sure why he is doing this..?

Back on the apps… nothing so far…!!!

Thank you Molly🥰…Mr P is an idiot. Sorry. He enjoys bickering and making himself necessary. He also loves COMPLAINING! I think you just keep swiping and finding normal people

@Mila14 - I'm sorry MrEx is not being the great person you should have. I have followed your posts as I have a MrEx of my own (in love with each other but not together and I don't think we ever will be) so I know how hard it is.

@Definitelycross - I also second bumble - I found it user friendly and the free element helps.

So good to read everyone updates. I have been seeing someone for almost 6 months - let's call him MrFit as he has a physical job and (until recently) ran a lot. I seem to have hit a down patch (menopause and job) as has he (running injury and work) and he has been not very nice via messenger - I can't tell if I'm being oversensitive, he is being too harsh or we are just not suited or have hit a rough patch and can get over it! I wish I had a crystal ball.

Big fan of Feeld here. It’s not for everyone as everyone is very forward about what they’re looking for and it can cause major pearl-clutching. But I’ve found a refreshing absence of idiots pretending they want X when actually they want Y, and if you can just smile and wave at those who are looking for different things without judging them for it, it’s great fun. It’s also fairly cheap if you want to sign up and pay, unlike the other apps which will charge loads for not much benefit. With Feeld if you leave it a few days you’ll have hundreds of likes that you can flick through at your leisure, a bit like catalogue shopping 😝

@Undecidedandtorn …you are likely to not be thinking straight with all you have going. Give MrFit a chance and try to relax a bit, I know it’s easier said than done but 6 months IS A REALLY good testing time IMHO. January and Christmas have created a lot of havoc for many of us… I think everything is really easier to understand if we just let a bit of time run it’s course

How are you?? Still between Mr Nice and Mr M??? Long time not hearing from you lovely 😊

Mollymolloy

god he’s morphed into a selfish needy boyfriend
😂

didnt Take long
I reckon he likes you
question is do you like HIM

Thank you.

I'm on Bumble too. I think my location means I see the same guys on every site 🙄
Bumble, Match and POF.

The first guy I matched with on Match, five months ago, asked to meet for a coffee when I said I couldn't do that week he launched into a tirade about how ignorant I was and he didn't know why he bothered. If I couldn't fit him in then it would never work anyway.

Tbh it threw me as my first experience so I blocked and moved on. I've just opened POF to a message from him saying- how are you finding it here?

Why? Just why?

I've one on Match that has created five accounts and I've had to keep blocking him. Again because of my location (too outing) it really unnerves me.

I would love to see someone who gave me butterflies.

It will happen Deffy, keep at it…patience…

Mila - Good advice I'm going to just see how it goes in the next few weeks and go from there

Would love butterflies @Definitelycross …. just keep getting the ick at the moment!!

Im finding bumble pretty dire at the moment. Today I got presented with a man whose profile said ‘swipe right if.. “you’re not a woke bitch or a hoe”. Honestly how do these men get any matches??