Dating Thread 238 - Sex, Beer and Sausage Rolls (for the lucky ones!)

[OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss]

Hi All welcome to a shiny new thread as we proceed into 2023 with support for those riding the rollercoasters of the world of dating.

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Slothy … Monday is your day. Me thinks a few people here will have some valentines time

Eeky… lovely to see you enjoying yourself with fab guy. Don’t think about your ex. You are in a new part of life

Nice to have a new witty iron @Slothmomma hope you have a fun time together on Monday 1st date.

Thanks all re my gushy update he's the most lovely person I've ever met and gaddamned gwargeous naked and wonderful in bed. We fit beautifully. We couldn't get enough of each other physically and mentally.

@Mila14 are you having a fun time with MrEx this weekend? How is he doing with his mental state?

I think you started seeing my posts after my two year pause on all things dating ceased accidentally when I recreated a profile in a flounce at the news my XH was marrying the OW.

Before that 2018-2020 I had some right OLD adventures.

You were right all along wise old dating sage that you are. No point in settling for someone who isn't your person and you most definitely do know when they are.

Yay!! I came on just to check.

Go you. I'm so pleased 😊

Me thinks a few people here will have some valentines time

and a few won’t 😂
you can join me ladies !

I did say I’m relieved I split with ex before valentines as he would have fucking ignored it and I would have been annoyed
everY cloud hey !

Oncey sounds like a wonderful night 😊

Definitelycross

how are you after nasty negging date ?

Can I have some opinions on this potential date?
Been chatting for about a week, he seems nice but a bit reserved, and had hinted about meeting. So I asked him if we could meet for a drink next week.

He said yes but suggested coffee around 5ish. That wasn't going to work as I don't finish work til 5.
He also wanted to meet in the town where he lives. It's about 30mins drive for me and I don't know the area.
So I suggested 6pm in a place that is halfway between us.

He come back with the suggestion that we meet in the leisure centre in his town.

This all seems a bit weird to me.

@NellyTheCake
lesiure centre? and in his town. I wouldn't. screams zero effort to me.

@NellyTheCake weird… is it possible he doesn’t drive so can’t meet halfway? Or with the suggestion of 5pm I’d be suspicious that he might already have a partner and wants to pretend he is just working late 🤔 But could be some totally different reason!

Myfabby
I don't mind the first date being a quick coffee but not when it's an hours round trip for me.
I'm wondering if he doesn't drive.

I replied that I hoped he wasn't expecting me to meet him at the treadmills for a race.

But I asked to meet him so I'm not sure how I can say no thanks now

I’m a useless lurker! Had to pop up to say I’m chuffed to bits for you 💕. A settling of the heart - what a wonderful way of expressing it 😊

This is exactly the kind of pickle I seem to find myself in too.

How about say you would prefer to meet halfway so it’s equal effort for both of you? Or something like that?

Hi yeah I'm ok thank you.

Still a bit bewildered but never going to understand so I'm just going to try to move forwards.

Thank you 🙏

You most definitely can change your mind.

I met a guy who could only meet me for an hour at 5. He blocked me after I asked him if his wife knew they were separated.

I could be way out of line here but yes, I would not be doing all his bidding. You could ask him outright if he doesn't drive?

Is this a new man and you had your first sleepover? It sounds lovely. As well as awesome sex I’d love to spend the night with someone, half wake up in the night and hug them mmmmm.

@NellyTheCake sorry I cannot work out how to do the grey copy and paste 😂 so anyway, I think if it was me I would first say “Do you drive?” Then if yes say “I would like to meet you half way for our first date so that we are both making the same effort” If he doesn’t like it that tells you he is a selfish #%€<> 😂

ForestLilac I asked him to meet halfway and he came back with the leisure centre suggestion

Definitelycross It hadn't occured to me that suggesting we meet at 5pm could mean he's married.
I was keen to meet him but this lack of effort has put me off.

Ihaveateenager I will definitely be asking if he drives. If he doesn't then I'll have to say no, thanks

He's great and I'm very much looking forward to spending more time with him. Lots of nice excursions proposed with mid-week drinks and another sleepover this week.

He's so sensitive and gentle but cool and interesting as well as interested and funny. He's got the same number of kids as me and is XW is a similar level of selfishness as my own kids' dad. Very handsome and super super sexy.

Swoooooon! And he thinks he is the one who has struck Tinder Gold (which of course he has but no one else in my 50 years has felt this way about me).

Anyhoo. I'll not clog the thread up with further gushings.

If it all amounts to nothing or ends in tears obviously the mothership will be first to hear.

I weirdly feel like I'd be ok if he turns out to be a wrong 'un or not for me.

NellyTheCake
don’t like the sound of this fella
either attached or an inflexible wanker
but that’s just me !

Panic over, I'm meeting Mr leisure centre somewhere else now.
It's still closer to him but easy for me to get to and much nicer.

He said his local leisure centre has a nice coffee shop, which is why he suggested it. I'm not convinced but at least he agreed to meet elsewhere.

Now we just need to agree what day to meet. Valentines day or wait til Wednesday?

Wednesday. Too much hype over Valentine’s Day.

But don’t forget how he tried to make you go all the way to his area for someone you’d not actually met. For a stranger, a first meet, fairness and thoughtfulness is more important than a nice coffee shop I think.

Hello everyone

Have been reading this thread and it’s a proper eye opener!

Was wondering if I could ask some advice. Am 46, been separated 4 years now. Hadn’t felt like I could face dating but not sure what happened but it’s like a switch has flicked and now I really want to give it a go!

I’ve no idea where to start however. Are there some sites you’d recommend over others? Also photos - realised don’t really have any other than with my kids, do I just take some fun ones?

Im also quite limited with time as 2 DC, one with anxiety so really difficult to get a babysitter. I do have one night a weekend and some of the weekend. Is this going to make it impossible?

Sorry so many questions - hope it’s ok to ask!

Also slightly scared that whilst I feel in a really good place, I may just revert to my fall head over heels too intensely younger me if/when o start dating 😬

ForestLilac his original plan has put me off him a bit.
But I'll wait and see what he's like in person.

Wonderingwhyy Everyone has their favourite site/app. It very much depends on where you live and what you're looking for.

I'm on pof, match, tinder and bumble. Maximum coverage 😆
But bumble has never worked for me. Match is currently where most of my chats are happening (all 2 of them).

In the past, most of my dates came from pof.

Pictures without your kids are a must. Put on some outfits and have fun taking some selfies. Get a friend to help.
Take loads and choose the best

Thanks @NellyTheCake - I’m London.

Taking photos is on my to do list - luckily have quite a few fun things with friends coming up!

I’m soooo happy for you!! ❤️

this is exactly how MrF and I are. It feels crazy but go with it, it happens that sometimes you meet a person who it just all feels right with. I’ve gone through stages of feeling very vulnerable (as I’ve said often enough on this thread!) but just sink into his emotional openness and it will be lovely 🥰