Dating Thread 238 - Sex, Beer and Sausage Rolls (for the lucky ones!)

[OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss]

Hi All welcome to a shiny new thread as we proceed into 2023 with support for those riding the rollercoasters of the world of dating.

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Yes sorry…. @Ihaveateenager … you are right. Matthew Hussey’s podcasts are really good!

Oh. That is quite odd, yes. I don’t know why anyone would do that unless it was an anniversary or something and they’re still with their partner.

@Mollymolloy thanks 👌yes I am a fan of Matthew Hussey, his advice is spot on.

@ForestLilac yes I think because of my past I am on alert for red flags. Also I take note of Matthew Hussey and he would say something like are you both getting your needs met? Well my needs would include being with someone who is honest and he hasn’t been honest about his marital status for 6 months.

this is not normal. For all of us divorced and legally separated …we just do not have pics our failed marriage anywhere visible. Have you taken pics of both of you together? This is really weird. I smell a rat

@Mila14 actually I have just realised I haven’t taken a photo of him or us either 😂but I deleted all the posts / photos of exes when I broke up with them. Which he hasn’t. In my heart I think he probably still has feelings for his wife, he mentions her in conversation and says “my wife” which I find odd, surely most people would use their name or say ex wife.

Oh my goodness… massive red flag . Perhaps he’s not over her at all. You need to see if this is ok with you

Ihaveateenager

be careful
he doesn’t want to get divorced
he still calls her wife

this read like a man who’s clearly not over his marriage ending jn any way shape or form

assuming you are smitten id tread carefully
as can’t see him changing , and can see you getting hurt

@Ihaveateenager no, this would not sit right with me and I'd be out of their like a shot! You can do better than someone pining over his ex

As for me, date arranged with new iron for Monday evening 😁 I think I will call him Mr witty. We are both heading to same shopping centre today so will be keeping an eye out to give each other a wave 😄

Slothmomma

you seem rather taken with this one 😊
remind me have you met him yet ?

@Thisisworsethananticpated I am although trying not to get too over invested given my track record on meets. We matched last Sunday, haven't stopped chatting since and have done a phone call too. First meet will be Monday evening ☺️

Oh wow
I’m crossing everything for a real life chemistry 🧪 x
its funny how we can fall for people without even meeting them !

I suspect it is their anniversary. can you find out when it was @Ihaveateenager

Even if it isn't, someone who is seperated doesn't do this. I'd bin this one

@Ihaveateenager I agree with others that doesn’t sit right. Do you know any of the time scale of how long since they split ? My DP hadn’t been in a relationship for ages so it wasn’t an issue but the guy I was seeing before him still referenced his wife a fair bit- usually by her name. He definitely wasn’t sharing photos of the wedding on social media and gave me lots of attention so I just took him talking about her as part of the detaching process because they hadn’t been split that long when I met him ( 9mos) I would feel in your position after 6mos of dating that you could raise it with him. If you are keen and invested in him then I think you need to address it. His reactions should give you a good sense of how he sees it and importantly whether he seeks to reassure you.

Hi all.

My 1st sleepover date with my iron MrMaker was on a par with @Mila14 when she and MrEx first found each other

Almost too brilliant to explain. The physicals are off the scale compatible but so are the chats, humour, interests, views. We didn't sleep much just bonked talked cuddled etc all night.

Both feel like we've met our forever person. Doesn't feel stupid or overwhelming just amazing. Or as he said 'a settling in my heart' which felt like a beautiful and perfect summary.

I'll eat my hat if I'm wrong about this.

I know it sounds crazy especially having seen here that things can be not what they seem. So I will keep my wits about me but he is really very fantastic and sees me as so too. ❤️

That is fantastic news @OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss !! I am really pleased for you. There is no reason why it can’t be the real thing…

fantastic!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh my goodness, this is wonderful.

I could cry.

So, so delighted for you @OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Well done!!!!

To be fair, it's slightly because of Mr2Pugs that I rather, um, accelerated things. I wasn't going through all that again for no sex, not in my current peri-menopausal sex-crazed haze! I was deliberately flirty to make sure he could cope. He's coping just fiiiiine. He is delighted, and doesn't even gently tease me about it. I really like how he handles my insane sex drive, actually. It's very freeing. My ex would have mocked (shamed, really) me, whilst still wanting to take advantage of it (and then wondered why it was hard for me to feel comfortable sharing it! Idiot man), and Mr2Pugs just shut down. He just goes with it in an easygoing this-is-a-fun-surprise sort of way, but he doesn't let it define anything. He really is a very refreshing man to be with. (I know my ex was a twat and most modern men would be an improvement, but it's still a nice way to do things)

Oh Wow, Oncey. Go you!

@Ihaveateenager - did he tell you he was divorced and later tell you that wasn't true. The still being married on paper I am OK with (and is the case for me and my boyfriend and we met 3 months after his split) but if he has lied that's no good and the photo thing is a bit odd.

@OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss - what an amazing night! Super happy for you!

yes! and long may it continue. Nice to read some good news ;-)

🥳🥳🥳🥳 @OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss we love a good news story!

Didn't bump into mr witty whilst out as kept missing each other but not long to wait till Monday evening 😀

Well HELLOOOO MR MAKER 😈😈😈😈
enjoy Oncey. These things just happen when both of you are ready and have the luck to find each other. It’s time and place in life for both of you. Just enjoy the whole thing and I am super glad you went for someone that Gad the wit, the stories and the much in common… regardless of his height and shape. Sometimes we overthink too much. The connection between you is what matters
I’ve followed you since you started posting. I’m very happy for you