Dating Thread 238 - Sex, Beer and Sausage Rolls (for the lucky ones!)

[OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss]

Hi All welcome to a shiny new thread as we proceed into 2023 with support for those riding the rollercoasters of the world of dating.

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.
11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated
12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

[Slothmomma]

I agree with @NoDatingForOldMen - if an iron made me laugh he would automatically be more attractive to me.

Newly matched iron did indeed message again last night and we spent most the evening chatting on messages and will be arranging a phone call this week too. Hes very witty. Hoping to get a date out of this one

[Mila14]

@Slothmomma

I agree with @NoDatingForOldMen - if an iron made me laugh he would automatically be more attractive to me.

Newly matched iron did indeed message again last night and we spent most the evening chatting on messages and will be arranging a phone call this week too. Hes very witty. Hoping to get a date out of this one

Fingers crossed Slothy…nice to date someone fun

[OLDstolemybrain]

@NoDatingForOldMen

I think if you actually like someone, then the physical type becomes less of an issue,

Definitely this @OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss

MrF is my type in that he is very tall but he is also a lot chunky than I usually go for. He admits he would like to lose some weight but to me I couldn’t care less.

Him being your type of person is fab! I’m keeping everything crossed for you. The person inside is what you will end up building a life with, the rest is just packaging 😊

[NoDatingForOldMen]

@Slothmomma

I agree with @NoDatingForOldMen - if an iron made me laugh he would automatically be more attractive to me.

Newly matched iron did indeed message again last night and we spent most the evening chatting on messages and will be arranging a phone call this week too. Hes very witty. Hoping to get a date out of this one

I tried some my puns on Beyoncé , but she wasn’t bothered, I even offered week in a luxurious static caravan at Skeggy, no dice ! The single lady was not crazy in love with my offer, I was left feeling sorry

[5thWisdom]

@OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss

Yes fine thanks @5thWisdom lots of handsiness in a cinema setting and then food.

@Mila14
Physically he's the opposite of my usual 6'+ size so feel the sleepover will be an interesting one... He's diminutive/lithe/delicate:and I'm really curvy so have a vague assumption I'll feel more buxom and heavier with him than I'd like

As a person I like him a lot. He's deffo my kind of person.

Sounds good lovely. And @Mila14 is right, you sound fully in control. Super start.

I'm absolutely flat out with juggling work and wonder whether now is a good time to go on apps, purely because I don't have the time to obsess with it constantly! Enforcing a balanced more sensible approach! Haha. I realise this sounds ridiculous.

[Thisisworsethananticpated]

5thWisdom

i know you have some nerves around the apps
me too 😬
could you set yourself some rules ? Mine would be

honest profile
minimise time online majorly
slow down response time or only chat when in a good mood (or frisky ! )
only one app at a time
freeze profile time to time
no time wasting ,chatting with people I know I wouldn’t fancy in RL

but honestly I still need a few more months off

not because im ❤️‍🩹 per se but I want to be happy single again

[Mila14]

@Thisisworsethananticpated

5thWisdom

i know you have some nerves around the apps
me too 😬
could you set yourself some rules ? Mine would be

honest profile
minimise time online majorly
slow down response time or only chat when in a good mood (or frisky ! )
only one app at a time
freeze profile time to time
no time wasting ,chatting with people I know I wouldn’t fancy in RL

but honestly I still need a few more months off

not because im ❤️‍🩹 per se but I want to be happy single again

Take your time lovely. Being happy single is a great place to be in to join app 🥰

[Madeforthebeach]

@Mila14

i get this. I think you want nice warm date and enjoy your time with no sex pressure. I think initially many of us want that but get enormously frustrated if we fancy the man and he’s not making a move to shag us. We can also get bored of too much vanilla date and suspect the guy is not interested sexually on us but just needs company from us. His sexual sight is on someone else…
Just do what you feel it’s right for you and see how it goes. Are you ready now to go back to apps?

I’m not sure tbh. I tried two vanilla dates (separate occasions) and got ghosted on one then when I rescheduled a second date with guy 2 due to a work issue he disappeared.
I have developed a very inappropriate work crush and that’s giving me life currently 🙈

[Mila14]

@Madeforthebeach …oooh… which crush have you developed?

[Madeforthebeach]

A work crush (not like me), someone junior and younger 🤦🏼‍♀️.
it’s been so long since I flirted in real life (not after an app match), that I’ve no idea if we are flirting or if he’s just being friendly

[Secretboringsister]

I’m not even sure but I think someone pretending to be James Hewitt matched me on B.
Have terrible luck on the apps, I paid for the membership so I can see who has matched me. Is this even possible or am I just paranoid?

[Mila14]

@Secretboringsister

I’m not even sure but I think someone pretending to be James Hewitt matched me on B.
Have terrible luck on the apps, I paid for the membership so I can see who has matched me. Is this even possible or am I just paranoid?

Oooh…is it a recent pic of him looking old a grey? Or an old pic of his Diana days? Beware…I think famous people have access to other app like RAYA…I don’t really think they would try B. However…the real Michael Gove was there for a while I think

[Mila14]

@Madeforthebeach

A work crush (not like me), someone junior and younger 🤦🏼‍♀️.
it’s been so long since I flirted in real life (not after an app match), that I’ve no idea if we are flirting or if he’s just being friendly

Awwww… flirting is totally fine. No harm done 😊

[Madeforthebeach]

I always approach cautiously if I’m not sure. Too many catfishes

[Madeforthebeach]

But I’m so tempted to say…. Hey let’s go get a drink. But I don’t think I could take the rejection from someone that much younger (which is unlike me I do rejection fine). But then I should just live in the moment

[Secretboringsister]

@Mila14 yes! Recent photos!

[5thWisdom]

@Madeforthebeach

But I’m so tempted to say…. Hey let’s go get a drink. But I don’t think I could take the rejection from someone that much younger (which is unlike me I do rejection fine). But then I should just live in the moment

I actually did this a few times and asked to meet up, because they weren't forthcoming.

None of them actually ended up meeting me.

It could be very different for you, but I never matched and chatted with anyone who had the genuine intention of meeting up. I lasted around 3-4 weeks and had to take a break! This was before Christmas.

I too didn't want to waste time just chatting - I genuinely wanted to be dating and meeting new people in real life, but it didn't work for me last time.

[NoDatingForOldMen]

is it a recent pic of him looking old and grey

thats me every day 😂

[Mila14]

@Secretboringsister

@Mila14 yes! Recent photos!

Get video call first. Agree time

[Snowmountain]

Hi
What does "iron" mean?

[Mila14]

@Snowmountain

Hi
What does "iron" mean?

thats how call your potential dates… read the OP rules…they come handy

[OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss]

Another 2 hour phone call with my new iron (MrMaker) we do really love chatting and laughing especially at how we feel like we have met our double a bit in how we approach life, people, parenting. He's super lovely ☺️

This better bloody not me that bloody lovebombing I'm pretty sure it isn't but who knows after just over a week.

Everso (uncharacteristically so) nervous about the sleepover. No idea why. Probs that it might be rubbish what with our body shape differences or I might never hear from him again.
But I don't think it will be or he wouldn't.

Prosecco will help enormously I think.

[OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss]

Have just re-read the rules. Esp #2, #3 and #4.

[OLDstolemybrain]

@OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss

Another 2 hour phone call with my new iron (MrMaker) we do really love chatting and laughing especially at how we feel like we have met our double a bit in how we approach life, people, parenting. He's super lovely ☺️

This better bloody not me that bloody lovebombing I'm pretty sure it isn't but who knows after just over a week.

Everso (uncharacteristically so) nervous about the sleepover. No idea why. Probs that it might be rubbish what with our body shape differences or I might never hear from him again.
But I don't think it will be or he wouldn't.

Prosecco will help enormously I think.

This is so lovely to hear! Maybe you feel nervous about the sleepover because it actually means something this time? But if he feels the same way about you then he will just feel so lucky to be doing that with you! He’s probably nervous too, more so in fact!

[OLDstolemybrain]

Little update on me and MrF. My ex went a little crazy about me moving on, dragged MrF into it etc. It was all very messy 🤦🏻‍♀️

However MrF hasn’t batted an eyelid. He says we’re a team and will face it together. Circumstances meant he met DC for a bit and they all got on like a house on fire. Earlier than I intended but it is what it is 🤷🏻‍♀️