Dating Thread 238 - Sex, Beer and Sausage Rolls (for the lucky ones!)

[OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss]

Hi All welcome to a shiny new thread as we proceed into 2023 with support for those riding the rollercoasters of the world of dating.

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Eeksteek

thrush can be exacerbated by sex

I’ve finally decided to shave 🪒 eveything off and for whatever reasons it helps things down there 👇 loads

anyways he’s smitten !!!

Well done for swiping @Slothmomma there's a 100% chance of not meeting anyone via the apps if there's no swiping and connecting. Glad at least one has your interest piqued.

2nd date with MrMaker tonight.
Am very mindful of the Bike/Oz scandal that all might not be what it seems even when it is all seemingly fabulous. Players do not present as players they present as interesting charming handsome caring confident funny men.
I knew this already but had forgotten so will attempt to keep loins girded and head in the game.

Hope Monday and the week ahead goes well for you all.

Oh yes @NoDatingForOldMen another vote for pinging NoShow and saying you need to fetch your stuff from her.

I left an expensive treasured leather make up bag full of Chanel makeup at my first OLD romances house and kick myself for never asking for it back.

Occasional lurker, previous poster on these threads and am now married. In some ways, it was only a matter of time before two posters were dating the same guy.

Hopefully, Mumsnet can have a good look behind the scenes to see daily's posting history and if his/her signup date and posting here are close to your posts, then there's definitely more going on here.

@Dailywarning I'm so sorry you feel attacked 😔 That wasn't my intention. I was just trying to find out what was going on for peace of mind. I did initially state I didn't want to discuss too much on the thread as it wasn't pleasant for you, but admit I then did 😔 I just wanted to find out what was going on, I guess so I could put this to bed either way. I'm very sorry you've been so upset. I'm not sleeping or eating and have cried a lot too 😔

Someone is lying.......... Why dont you swap links to the dating app profiles that you initially responded to?

I checked and this was the case, however it doesn't prove anything really.

I agree @goodfoodjuly it is only a matter of time it's only a small country and this thread is mostly post divorce datees. I previously listed what i now realise was outing info about an iron and actually perhaps the lesson learned here is that it's good to somehow check they aren't players. I've previously suggested posting photos of men who turn out to be Very Bad so we can all avoid them when they are presented to us on the apps with their winning smiles and twinkly eyes. I think that might be a helpful feature

Good to see you

I have been on the dating pages for years and occasionally people do question if they are dating the same person or a ex, it’s sad that this has happened and I understand it’s hard to know who’s telling the truth especially as you are dealing with a guy you haven’t know very long and someone you have never met.

I have been talking to Mr Cherry but things are not good, he’s not easy to talk too and a lot of what he says makes no sense. I am having an awful time with my periods so my hormones are a total mess, I haven’t slept for days, possibly anaemic and my mood is just low. I feel like hiding away for a few days, mainly so I don’t cry, shout or breakdown in public 😬.

It was an attack and I was hugely suprised given that this is supposed to be a place of safety and community. And asking her to prove it, show photos etc. Why is the burden of proof hers? Posters are now saying there were red flags with how mr oz/bike was treating @Dailywarning .

Well I saw massive red flags with the love bombing with @beepbeepme , but the general consensus on here was that it was love.

Older posters will know that I met someone who was spinning the exact same tales( widowed, super rich, well travelled and tall) to another lady here. All we asked was the general area and the first letter of his name- and that was enough for me. Another poster then came up a few months later and we pointed out the similarities, he spun exactly the same story right down to Prague for second date.
Sorry @Dailywarning. I really do feel for you x

MrCherry came back to you after a week of nil comms but being online @Lovemusic33 ??? What did he say to explain himself. Rude thoughtless cruel manipulative behaviour if you ask me.

@Myfabby I did not see evidence of lovebombing having gone back to look at all the posts @beepbeepme and previously Itsmehiimtheproblem when they first found MrBike.
To my eyes it looked like two people who really enjoyed spending time together yes it went quick and reminded me of a time when I was lovebombed by a bad man but unlike @beepbeepme I never felt I'd 'found my person' I knew what was happening and knew it would end in tears.

I can imagine @Dailywarning felt similar feels but she came on here for support when the strange tale of a 10 yr old not grown up child emerged and not really much intel about the iron she was seeing's professional life and come to think of it why is he so secretive on his phone.

I think it's good it got spotted via this thread. A terrible realisation for both but better 1 month in (Beep) and a week or so for Daily warning than being duped for months?

We're here for you both.

I still think we should post photos of these rogues so we can all avoid them

@Dailywarning @beepbeepme I am really sorry that both of you are suffering and I am not surprised you are both upset. I would be devastated - for me, honesty and truth and straightforwardness are qualities I prize the most - I'd rather be told if someone doesn't do exclusive or they are not sure about me. It's how I tend to operate even though I do get nervous and don't like saying to someone that something's not right for me. (Not saying that's what has happened here just giving my own examples.)

@Eeksteek Have you thought that maybe you didn't get rid of it properly in the first place - when I have a bad attack the GP has told me you often need to treat it x3 so it's fully gone. I hate to say this but full removal has not prevented stuff for me.

I'm having a tough time of it. Two of my irons just vanished - fading messages after a call/meet. I'd far rather they said after said call/meet - this isn't for me. Why bother to keep on messaging for weeks afterwards - complete waste of their time let alone mine.
Can't decide if Mr accidental is a is a highly shrewd operator, who lets you see enough of his life to make you feel comfortable but is juggling a string of women - in which case more fool him. Or is genuinely busy as his linkedin suggests and has his children half the time so is quite time poor. (The latter is probably an accurate description of me so that doesn't bother me in a person.)

I know a lot of people multi-date - so they go on lots of dates with different people - sometimes, 4th , 5th and 6th dates and then if it's working out with someone it becomes exclusive if both parties agree. I'm not very good at this and maybe I need to get better? I have done 3 first dates in a week and found everyone got about 1/3 of my normal energy and enthusiasm.

I don’t understand anything. She said her iron was Australian …MrOz. You never said that your Mr Bike was Australian…must be a misunderstanding??? I sincerely feel bad about saying anything accusatory about @Dailywarning . I never saw her here before but I see people dipping in and out all the time. I find it hard to believe someone would do this to Beepbeep or anyone else.
Also, if anyone here I felt had an encounter with someone undesirable and a liar and any of us here had an inkling we met that iron…I think a DM would be dry welcome.

Strikes me that the various reactions to this fiasco show more about the posters' individual experiences than they do about the situation.

A long time ago I go involved in a bizarre catfish style incident with someone impersonating someone else.....so that is what I tend to see. @Myfabby has been involved with a love rat man, so that's what they tend to see.

I'm very seldom surprised by people any more. Old friend from Uni days married somone from same uni. He was few years ahead of us. She knew him when they were students but they only got together a few years after graduation.

He led an Ex Pat engineer life style....lots of money but also lots of time abroad on contracts working on oil rigs etc. Turns out that he was running two UK homes (different ends of the country) with two different women. God knows how but he kept it up for years.

don't think I mentioned it, no. I've only had two replies from her. She says she's angry and upset and I'm welcome to him. He seems to think it's someone from Facebook that knows him and is trying to get at him.

I don’t like this at all…you never said he was Australian. I’ve checked the thread
The first thing she said is the guy was Australian and into bikes .
He telling you this is someone from Facebook trying to get him …what are we 15 years old?
Seriously? An enemy from Facebook infiltrated this thread of mumsnet. I’m with @Dailywarning . I’d like to see an exchange of pics.
What happened with the 10 year old boy that somehow popped up?
@Dailywarning was very candid about thinking he only had adult daughter and suddenly there was a 10 year old boy somewhere???
Is there any way to check this ?
I think this “ someone has it for me” is key.
Please discuss everything and go through the week with him
Also…has @Dailywarning his phone number? Profile for date , HIS ACTUAL NAME…where he took her for DTD…I remember she said she went to his after bike ride and DTD
Those are irrefutable facts. If the address is the same . You got the guy without even exchanging any more info

Please @Dailywarning …DM Beepbeep and tell her where his home is privately. That is just enough info for Beepbeep to know everything

I am uncomfortable with accusing @Dailywarning of anything. She knew he was Australian, his name and the village where he lives. How many Australians into bike with the same name live in the same village. I’m really really sorry but I smell a rat. The only piece of the puzzle missing is the 10 year old boy that suddenly arose in a conversation …she was very suspicious of that as he never mentioned before…
I just think he’s been caught

You have clarification. She gave you his name, the village and the fact he’s Australian. Could there be any bike fan Australian with the same name in the same village? Ask yourself….
I would directly confront him about the boy. Do you have another child ? A boy? That is the only thing missing. She also got the adult daughter right

100% agree

Exactly @Mila14 there's totally enough intel from one injured party to the other to get irrefutabile clarification.

There's only one simple explanation and it's that the guy is the same who did the dirty on one datee while they were away totally unaware they would both be posting here about this fabulous but slightly intense and mysterious man who has the exact same (unusual) characteristics.

If he's a really keen cyclist, his rides will almost certainly all be logged on Strava.

Eeky…I get my rug OFF…I have lasered the pubic area so it’s just bit to tidy up and I use lycon wax which is very kind. I never use razor but it works for many ladies. I used to have trush recurrent yonks ago. But I had this canesten course ( I think it’s like pessaries you insert in your vajayjay.
The problem is we OVERCLEAN THE VAJAYJAY and use vajayjay soaps. Don’t do this women. We have lovely bacterial fighters and good natural PH. ONLY WATER THERE
Ive never had thrush again when I was lectured about OVERCLEANING by my gyno

My thoughts precisely…sadly

This issue is very easily resolved if two posters dm each other so I shall restrain from commenting further and upsetting anyone who already upset

of this is true I’m really sorry 😞

kind of goes to show that love bombing IS a thing

maybe the sad divorced don’t see their kids bitter avoidants ex file sharing -are the prize
JOKE
I know they arnt x

Bit of idiocy here from me but I want to share

I had a very heartfelt message today by MrEx. He senses he’s losing me. He’s trying to exercise and drink sparsely and he really wants to fight for us. The message sounded like the man I met 7 years ago.
Relationships are not easy but when he makes me happy… he makes me the happiest woman in the world.
I think we need to mind very much our mental health and our physical health. Loving ourselves is necessary to sustain being loved 🥰. The most important thing I’ve ever learnt. I see my teen DD and the one thing I am most proud of is that she loves herself. Her healthy food, her skin, her fitness level, her personal best effort at school grades…loving oneself WORKS.
I see my mum too. Always perfect nails and hair, lovely clothes…I am the woman in the middle . I look up to my mum and I look up to my daughter.