Dating Thread 238 - Sex, Beer and Sausage Rolls (for the lucky ones!)

[OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss]

Hi All welcome to a shiny new thread as we proceed into 2023 with support for those riding the rollercoasters of the world of dating.

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

@NoDatingForOldMen I recently left a leaf blower all neatly wrapped up and returned to its owner. The sod ended things but I still returned his leaf blower ffs. I often still wonder if I should have kept it as token ..😢😩

People do all sorts of strange things, and a lot of very strange people spend a lot of time on line. She could have spent literally hours searching chat rooms / dating sites gathering information together. She may not even be a she.

What motivates these people.....I dont know. But cyber stalking is real.

Watch a few episodes of Catfish.....someone doing this sort of thing is so common that it wouldnt make the programme.. In fact watch the original film.......

beepbeepme

i feel like wagatha christie a bit

however I agree with Sceptic1234

get some sleep
with a clearer head read your posts in the last few threads
internet is a fucked up
place

@Thisisworsethananticpated @Sceptic1234 you both think it could be catfishing? I didn't think anyone would go to those lengths to break up a relationship, of someone they don't know!

@beepbeepme people really do lie and do the most terrible gaslighting of others. Get clarification. Xxx

@beepbeepme had you previously mentioned on the thread that Mr Bike was Australian? @Dailywarning mentions that her iron is and it seemed to be one of the triggers that made you ask if he and Mr Bike were the same person. How much communicating has @Dailywarning done with you to try to sort this out for both of your benefits?

I don't think I mentioned it, no. I've only had two replies from her. She says she's angry and upset and I'm welcome to him. He seems to think it's someone from Facebook that knows him and is trying to get at him.

How do I get clarification though?

I think its unfair to pile on to @Dailywarning until it's clear. I don't think ( i hope) no one would do this on this thread. She mentioned meeting him, a 10 year child he hadn't mentioned. She didn't clock any similarities. If we are giving the ( unknown to us )man the benefit, we should surely extend the same to her?

@Myfabby i totally agree. I have skimmed back through the thread and I can’t see anything to suggest @Dailywarning is not genuine. I guess I was just thinking that if it was me I would want to share information and clarify as much as I could.

She has your power tools? That's below the (tool) belt.

I feel a bit lost. I'm intentionally trying not to flood the thread with lusted up vibes, as it seems kind of mean. But now I don't know what's going on! (It may comfort the sexless to know I have bloody thrush. Again. Never had it before this year, and this is the fifth time. Bloody Peri) and need to lay off my twice-weekly bonkathons until it clears. MrPottery is being all grown up and considerate and 'it doesn't matter we can just snuggle' about it and I am....not. We had a lovely afternoon strolling the park hand-in-hand, having lunch, going to the famers market and taking a nap like the proper couple I have no idea if we are and I would MUCH rather have spent it in bed (although it was lovely too. I'd just rather it were as well as and not instead of)

Anyway, I need a straw poll. My cleaner (who is utterly filthy and amuses me no end) thinks "everyone" these days removes all their pubic hair. In it's entirety. MrPottery also has expressed surprise (and delight) at the fact that I don't. Your thoughts, my comrades? Is it normal nowadays, or no? I don't care, people should do whatever the flip they want with it, I am merely curious as to the frequency of it!

He has also introduced me to his mother. He just casually facetimed her about the weather while I was there, introduced me as 'my friend Eeksteek' and we chatted a bit about nothing much for a few minutes and then he said bye. It was super casual and impulsive and very him and (from my perspective) really quite strange. Bonkers. As if there wasn't enough ADHD in my life!

I quite like a bit of stockings and heels action now and again. It's fun to get dressed up. Naturally, MrPottery could not give two hoots about the wrapping (but is VERY appreciative of the goods, so there's that, but has outright stated he doesnt even care if I shave my legs. Which I thought was gracious, considering he shaves for me at my behest!). I did buy that Lovehoney bow thing, so I might surprise him for Valentine's day. I have promised the rest of the sausage rolls, if he buys me tulips, which are my favourite, and he was being all 'it's too commercial and I'm not buying roses just because of the date'. TBF I suspect he is the kind to buy random roses, which is better. I think he may also be somewhat PDA. Which is generally fine, but I want a bit of wining and dining, as he doesn't have enough spontaneous romance banked to skip on valentine's gestures just yet!)

OMFG just what? I have no useful advice or insight. Just. Wow. WTAF?

I agree with the others that the other poster’s comments about her iron were oddly connected to the information you gave @beepbeepme . But if she knows his name etc then that is something very strange. But the coincidence of you both dating the same person and both posting on here seems just too extraordinary to be likely somehow - I’d be inclined to question who she is and what she is doing as much as I would him. Not sure how she could have got that information though. The whole thing is mind blowing, even for a bystander. 🥺🤯 So sorry you’re having to deal with this.

@beepbeepme the detail here about his work seems to be potentially rather random/deliberate. But if it is catfishing then the person is very skilled at doing it subtly as there’s plenty in her messages that seems genuine.

I also can’t see that there’s enough detail in your posts for someone to have identified your iron; I don’t quite understand how they could have made the leap from Facebook to this.

As the thread has been unintentionally derailed and im just getting attacked on all sides (thanks to the few not attacking me by the way) I'll bow out with whats left of my self respect. I'm not going to play games or fight for someone who clearl just saw me as a convenient shag, I've already told beep she's welcome to him. I cringe at what Ive written about this 'man'.

If anyone can explain how you can google a username and magically find someone's full name and social media by all means go ahead. I've tried earlier and found nothing. Unless beepbeep and mr iron are their actual names. And if i was facebook stalking and some jilted ex gf of his I'd just message her on rather than trawl through thousands of mn posts on the off chance that she was talking about him and i also somehow knew the username. All seems a bit unnecessarily complicated and impossible.

And seeing as we live in the same town and probably bump into him at some point which will be horrendous Im going to shut up, and leave you all to it. You can think what you like. Ive been crying since Friday and i cant cope with this crap anymore 😔

@Dailywarning I believe you and @beepbeepme and always think the simplest explanations are the most likely. So you have confirmed MrBike and MrOz are definitely the same (@beep beep never mentioned he was from Oz) and one of you has called him out but he's denying it. If you are both linked up to each other can't you send a message to him and show the other a screen grab of the message plus his phone number/photos. It seems so straightforward to prove for @beepbeepme which seems to be what she needs to make sure it's not some other weird situation.

Neither of you shared any more than any of us would about your seemingly lovely new iron.

I just can't believe with all the time he's spent with both of you how he would manage to convince you both that he's totally into you and making future plans. How did he find the time? And the right things to say? It's befuddling to us bystanders must be a total head fuck to those of you actually involved with him.

What a mess! Dailywarning and beepbeepme I hope you manage to sort this out. Although, the outcome doesn't sound great for either of you 😔
As others have said, swapping photos and phone numbers should establish the truth.

On a lighter note, Mr Stockings (55) returned last night, to say he would be passing near where I live this evening, if I was free.

I was tempted to say I would be busy tightening the elastic on my suspenders.
But I just said I had other plans. I'm not dropping my busy Monday evening plans of doing nothing for a vague offer of a date.

I'm not sure what to think about about Mr bike but agree that it could all be confirmed one way or other with swapping of pics or messages with phone numbers on.

Matched and chatted with a new iron last night that has piqued my interest so hoping he returns this evening. Also chatted with another who I think would only be potential fling territory

@Eeksteek What you do with your hair is up to you.

Personally I trim with hair trimmers.
some women take it all off, some don't. I find it fresher if I keep it short

@Eeksteek I just trim with nail scissors. I don’t have time to shave daily and am certainly not going to go down the waxing route 🫣

Most ladies on Naked Attraction seem to take it all off, but I think that may be the pressure of tv.

@Eeksteek I spent a good year getting waxed but I found it embarrassing and expensive so now also am trimming with nail scissors! It's a MN OLD trend 😃

@OLDstolemybrain I think all you can do to ignore your self sabotage demons is to chant they're his exes I'm his now over and over plus read or watch on YouTube some stoic philosophy and do some mindfulness work. Have you ever had therapy?

You are worthy. You are the prize.

I say this as someone also having self doubt but the idea is to bat these thoughts away. They are not reality they are thoughts. And unhelpful unwanted ones at that.

MrPottery is delighted to have found you I think.

Dailywarning

hey no intention to attack , sometimes you dot the is and cross the ts and come to a conclusion

all very strange

but I’m sorry if you have been crying all weekend
nothing worst than thinking you have
met someone nice (finally !) and they are a liar

I’m always suspicious when someone says
they have met someone nice as I’m so bloody cynical !!! And I did have some major red
flags 🚩 given what you said