Dating Thread 238 - Sex, Beer and Sausage Rolls (for the lucky ones!)

[OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss]

Hi All welcome to a shiny new thread as we proceed into 2023 with support for those riding the rollercoasters of the world of dating.

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

I'm back from my holiday and MrB met me off my bus and drove me home, resulting in very frantic DTD! 😆

@Slothmomma my reaction too! I'm trying to weigh up between being naively happy and overly cautious 🤔

Me and mr oz have so much in common, both outdoorsy, loves cycling, makes me laugh, good kisser, good in bed 😃
On the negative he seems to not be forthcoming about things, messaging a lot when we're together but sort of shielding his phone and i dont want to be that suspicious person asking who he's messaging. And today he's gone really quiet, whereas for the past week we've been messaging a lot.
I guess it could be work, but that doesn't usually stop him 🤔 ive no idea exactly what he does even, other than something to do with meat products, so i really don't know.

The travails of dating and insecurity!

@Dailywarning I've dm'd you

@beepbeepme Good god I hope not. I doubt it. Yes I'm 'north' way

I had a fantastic first date with my new iron 5 hours of chat and lols and hand holding then some marvellous car park snogging.

He's asked if he can see me tomorrow but I'm going to stick to my plan of getting shit done as feels a bit intense

He's told me he loved meeting me and kissing me.

It was deffo a combination of f.gallops and great convo he's also got some attributes I think are very fabulous but trying to keep M Hussey sage words at the forefront of my mind if isn't about their attributes it's about how they treat us.

He has kids EOW so will now be trying to establish next rendezvous

Will catch up with the whole thread later after exercise class

Wow -fantastic @OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss !!!!!

You are sleeping with this guy and developing feelings. You need to know where he works and doing what as that is an important side of our lives. Unless he has a hugely troublesome ex wife and kids in the middle of something very ugly he should not be texting at all when he’s with you. I’m sorry…shielding the phone?…something is fishy here. Red flags all round. Sit down and talk your doubts openly. I can’t understand why can’t we have a grown chat about how we are feeling when we are investing ourselves and DTD with someone else. Talk IS ALLOWED

Superb news. And I am one here very in favour of hours of talking because how else are you going to know someone. EOW kids seems just perfect too…you get a break from intensity and get on with your kids. On top of that Fanny gallops galore. Perfect date.
Oncey, I think you did right waiting a bit before dating properly again. Sometimes we all need a breather because this dating malarkey is insane

What going on? I saw one message deleted and lost the plot… between beep beep and you…😳

Dailywarning

please to tread with caution with this one

i think finding his behaviour off isn’t insecurity per se
it’s a natural reaction to strange behaviour

but a surprise child ! And the texting with you ! And the vaguesness are red flags 🚩 and I’ve dated a few with 🚩🚩🚩

is he maybe married or attached ?

I know it’s great sex! But great sex isn’t the b all and end all
x

If you found something out that may or may not be true and you can't prove it, would you walk away or give them the benefit of the doubt? Don't want to be too specific at the moment, still getting my head round it.

Hi @beepbeepme I am not sure if I have posted since you joined the thread. I am an occasional contributor but have been around on here for a long time.
I think I remember the gist of what you posted which has now been deleted. I will try not to be specific but some of the things that you questioned about another poster’s iron seem a huge coincidence. Not impossible but enough that would make me question things. Surely if that poster is happy to message you you could quite easily cross check dates/names/places etc.

Thanks, been trying to do that. He's denying it all. But yes, a huge coincidence.

@OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss great news re date!

@beepbeepme trust is big thing for most of us. If an iron had Mr questioning things this early I'd probably be out

What is wrong with people?? We TALK. If we have an issue we need to communicate it. There’s 0 benefit with a doubt. We are too old to have doubts about this or that. Please…communicate…ask… discuss….we are all grown up to live with doubts

Beepbeep…no idea what is going on. Maybe pic exchange with the other poster??? You need certainty

Fantastic news @OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss …!!! It sounds like it it going really well. I am going to Google Andrew Hussey.. I could do with some advice!!

Are you ok @beepbeepme?

Mollymolloy

he’s in YouTube
he’s also got a video for most stages of dating

I’m naturally focussed on the break up and ghosting ones ( yay 😬) but I’d also watch when I start dating again
when that may be …

I have weekly Pilates class (flirty teacher ) to add a small thrill

Reached an all time low of ‘not ready to date.’ Some poor man says there is so much to like in my profile and would I like to speak later. I think ‘argh’ and delete the entire app. I don’t think I’m over my totally no good for me ex. Where do I find a very fit 40 - 50 something ex military type to take me out on his motorbike ..? I need shaking up.

beepbeepme

hope you are ok x
I’d go hard core detective actually

there are very few people you canny track

192.com , Facebook ( way less privacy than other social media ) , linked in
and my personal favourite companies house for anyone self employed

mydogissexierthanme77

take a pause
self care and healing ❤️‍🩹 for as long as it takes

then get back

ifs hard to date with another in your head
if not worse !

you in touch with ex or no contact ?

was doing well with no contact then left one of those stupid messages on his voicemail last week. He’s livid with me for ending it. It was a true love affair but extenuating personal issues (MH) made it very very difficult for me. I miss the person I wanted him to be.

@Mollymolloy Andrew Hussey is very good I think. His thinking helps me.

How long do I assume someone is sulking for before thinking it’s 100% over? Mr Cherry still hasn’t replied to my message pulling him up on controlling behaviour, not a sorry, no arguing….nothing. He still hasn’t blocked me on social media so I can see him posting stuff. It’s been 6 days and nothing. This is a guy who last week was telling me how he wanted to be with me forever, making plans etc.. I pull him up once and he’s ignoring/ghosting me. When we first started seeing each other it was pretty normal for him to disappear for a week or 2 but in the last few months we had been talking daily and seeing each other a lot more so I am feeling pretty angry that he can even reply to my message. I guess I want him to apologise but realistically I don’t think he will because he doesn’t think he’s done anything wrong.