Dating Thread 238 - Sex, Beer and Sausage Rolls (for the lucky ones!)

[OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss]

Hi All welcome to a shiny new thread as we proceed into 2023 with support for those riding the rollercoasters of the world of dating.

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Thisisworsethananticpated
I'm sorry to hear you're hurting as well. ❤

I tried to discuss it with Mr MindReader but he said was over then asked me to leave.
I feel like I never got the chance to have my say.
So I'm trying to move on. If anyone ever answers my messages!

Thanks for the heads up, it seems you can't edit posts? Tempted to delete my account.

Just delete posts with photos
click ‘report post ‘ and MN will delete for you
easy peasy

So I’m 3 dates in. He wants to arrange a 4th date and he’s hinting at DTD on this date.
I keep messaging my ex as knee jerk reaction as I feel a bit panicky. I always get like this with new people. I don’t actually enjoy the initial dating phase, I much prefer the comfy phase! Trouble is I know if my ex said let’s give it another go I would just because I’m nervous and always think better the devil you know.

NellyTheCake

i don’t know
maybe he wanted an ‘out’ and chose that as his reasoning
maybe he wasn’t actually ready to move forward
anyway you’ll never know

im sorry 😞 also
broken hearts 💔 heal x

I'm having a laugh doing speed dating on Bumble this evening.
Three mins to chat but you don't see what they look like til the end.

It has cheered me up this evening.

Have also had my heart broken many times so can sympathise 😣

I'm trying to keep my emotions in check and not get carried away but its easier said than done as its all been very full on, more so the past week where Mr Oz has had more free time than usual so we've been together a lot and its been very passionate! So judgement might be ever so slightly clouded.

He does talk a lot about our future together though which is promising! Already planning a cottage weekend away for his bday in April so must be serious! 🤗

However one thing that bothers me is he'll drop things into a conversation casually that aren't casual, for example he mentioned his son who i assumed was grown up but turns out he's 10 who doesn't live with him. He's talked about his daughter but first time he's mentioned his boy. Can't work out if that's an issue or not. It's just I assumed his kids were all grown up like mine, and he didn't correct me at the time 🤔

@Dailywarning …you’ve seen him enough to be clear about kids and ages. You just met so talking about the future is strange…red flags. Investigate. How can you have a 10 year old and do no normal visitations with? I have been lied to. It lasted very little. have a proper chat with him to know exactly what the family situation is

Yeah agree
a suprise 10 year old child is a BIG deal

does he see child ?

@Mila14 mil@Thisisworsethananticpated
Appreciate the advice! I'm going to try and find out more 😬 really hope Ive not been bamboozled by this one.

He does talk about our future a lot, it did reassure me at first but now I'm worried it's a red flag. I dont know. Maybe I'm just being naive. He says all the right things! 🤔

I think the whole "red flag" thing can be tricky. I met someone who would text me "good morning" and good evening" everyday, had only split recently from his wife and some other things that mumsnet would feel were red flags and love bombing behaviors. However, 5 months later we are still dating, and he is just a nice guy who was maybe a bit lonely. So I wouldn't worry too much and see what happens.

Went on first date no 6…. a really, really lovely guy but, absolutely no spark 🙁
MrP still txting…. really fancied him but, a bit self absorbed and seems to only want FWB…
If date no 6 looked like MrP… it would be happy days!! So unfair….

I hear you! I have two people that if I could combine would be the perfect man for me.

Hello all. Sorry for radio silence. Had a rollercoaster week with three teens' birthdays (family planning not a core capability of mine) plus my XMIL died suddenly while my XSIL was stuck in hospital.

Anyhoo. I shall greatly enjoy catching up with all the highs and lows reported in here with a cuppa over the weekend.

Good luck to all of you with dates with new or newish or potential irons this weekend.

I've got a 1st date tonight. Food with an iron who seems funny and talented and family orientated. We have had a couple of great two way phone chats and textathons

I hate that first meeting irl it's soooo nerve racking and awkward. 🫣

Don’t worry Molly…keep swiping…patience

Super good luck Oncey…fingers crossed there’s Fanny galloping and great conversation… 🥰🥰🥰
Mothership all ears…

😂

@Mila14

Wouldn't that be splendid - the perfect combo. I can't actually recall if I've ever truly had both...not since I met my XH in 1995 I fear.

I promise to immediately say thanks but no thanks if there's one without the other (or neither!)

I posted and then disappeared!

So update from me is that MrC never became a 3rd date, he sent 6 minutes worth of voice notes moaning about having received a letter from the CMS and that he had to pay for his child. Along side WhatsApps in the same vein. Not sure about the rest of you but not wanting to financially support your children doesn’t really rock my world. Also we’ve met twice I don’t need this shit, I’m not your therapist. Did not respond well to me saying thanks but no thanks so just blocked and deleted.

I have 2 coffee dates this weekend, MrB and MrR. MrR is legit hilarious but don’t want to get my hopes up. MrB seems lovely too but less hilarious.

Best but is I’m seeing lots of friends too so will be lovely and busy!

Anyone who wines about paying for their child needs to go - well done! I do love a funny man - fingers crossed both dates go well!

@Dailywarning another that can't imagine how having a 10 year old child would not come up sooner!

@Dhama I'd have ditched the child maintenance moaner too. Good luck with the weekend dates - I'd love to find an iron that can make me laugh

Good luck too @OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss

I've had 2 telephone chats with tomorrow's iron so hoping, even if no spark, we'll have a good afternoon as seem similar

Good luck @OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss and @Dhama ..keeping everything crossed for you both!!!

OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss
Slothmomma

good
luck with pending dates

Mollymolloy
sorry a didn’t fancy date

hope it was brief ?

I’ve been watching Matthew Hussey videos all week to ensure I don’t wobble

i have to say I really like his videos and the comments and some of his team

he’s excellent on ghosting and emotional unavailability 😬

Good luck everyone with an impending weekend of dates!

I have an iron I’m chatting to but not sure I’m feeling it. Nothing overtly amiss but I feel like our senses of humour are pretty different. Shall see how it progresses over the weekend