New Fab & Glam (Part 3 - The Quest Continues!)

[Paddlechick666]

Here we go ladies!

Great!

Yes cash, great to see you. IT's a real shame you can't make it but we'll sort out another one very soon I'm sure...

I'm not too great today, awful nightmares at the mo, I won't bore you with it though.

PC your dd sounds so gorgeous. I'm smiling away hear reading your stories. Ds is the same, I'm sure he'd accept breakfast in bed every single day if I'd do it for him!

Funny how someone so small can take up so much of a mahoosive bed isn't it!!

Macd - still waiting to hear your plan

baffy, same with the nightmares. i am struggling to get a good night's sleep between the dreams, the neighbours and just generally all the crap going around my head constantly.

are you going to bring ds with you 16th March? i think he and dd would get on like a house on fire!

i'm feeeling tired and dispirited tbh. the world seems full of opportunities that are out of my reach right now. can't seem to find anything uplifting that i could achieve.

i should focus on work but i can't even concentrate enough to watch TV right now.

Wow I really thought I was on my own with the nightmares. They come and go for me, but I always know when I'm particularly stressed as they start again. Poor ds always picks up on it too, and whenever I sleep badly, he does too! So both of us end up awake all night!

We watched a dvd at 5am the other morning because we were both so restless. Then had a drink, snuggled back down, fell back to sleep at 7am and slept in until 10am!!
I love the fact that he'll do that with me though. He's the best company ever!

I'll definitely bring him down on the 16th. I think they'll have a ball!

Know what you mean about the opportunities too. There's so much I could be doing, but without that support at home it's virtually impossible at the moment. I just keep thinking I have to take 1 day at a time and eventually things will work out. (One way or another!)

i quite often end up reading for an hour or two around 4am. or creeping around the flat to check my email!

at least with dd in her own bed mostly she isn't disturbed but that does mean she's awake by 6:30am most mornings. altho after a bad night on saturday we did have a glorious lie-in till 8:30am.

how come she only sleeps late on the days when we have to get going early!

nightmares come and go with me too. they go when h is not in touch and come back when he is - unsurprisingly.

i guess for me i am conscious of my age and feel like i don't have all the time in the world like i used to.......

can anyone explain to me why i feel an irrational anxiety about dd today?

i really really miss her and feel really anxious about something horrible happening to her or to me or us both.

rang CM and she's just fine and dandy adn having a lot of fun doing some gluing.

i'll be a candidate for the funny farm at this rate!

sorry - keep getting sidetracked with bloody work

perhaps you're just thinking about her too much as we're talking about her on here. making you realise just how much you miss her - iyswim.

lack of sleep and stress does terrible things to our minds! honestly though, you're not going mad, perfectly normal after we've been talking about her so much.

you'll have to have extra cuddles tonight!

xx

Hi

I have had depression in the past and nightmares are a very common symtom - mine where always very black with me murdering people in a very bloody manner!!! (and during the dream i was actually enjoying doing it).

PC - feeling anxious is also a sign - as are panic attacks.

I hope you are both taking care of yourselves and try and get all your vitimans. There are some good herbal remidies (i didnt get on with st Johns wort but i know lots of people who do). Dont be afraid to ask your GP for help though as it is not as scary as you may think.

Hope you are all feeling a bit better soon anyway.

HW, quite often mine involve me battering the hell out of a "person" who is quite often a composite of the 3 men who have hurt me most in the past. I too find it quite enjoyable!

Other scenarios have been attempts to get H to speak to me, me dying and attending my own funeral, H announcing he is marrying a pregnant g/f.

None of it's rocket science under the circs I guess.

You're probably right, I am more than likely mildly depressed. I have decided to increase my fruit n veg and decrease my wine and generally buck myself up a bit tho.

Don't really want to take anything for it and can't really consider talking to GP. Haven't even registered at my local surgery yet.

baffy, also side-tracked by work today. bloody rude really!

mine are always about H and OW. either finding out again that something's going on. her being pregnant. picturing her and H together or with ds etc... again not rocket science.

think some days I do feel very low (just want to stay in bed and hide) but on the whole I manage to stay postive throughout the days and you know I'm always planning things with friends to get me out in the evenings or weekends. it's just the sleepless nights really. lonely more than anything, still miss H so much.

eating better and more exercise would do me the world of good though, that's for sure!

i tend to be a hermit in the evenings. wish i could get out more but tbh i probably wouldn't even if i could!

know what you mean! I literally have to force myself to do things after work. generally it's tea with friends and their children so my quality couple of hours with ds is having nice food and a play with friends, rather than cranky mummy cooking tea and doing dishes whilst giving him pans and spoons on the floor to play the drums with!

It's hard though isn't it. I barely have enough energy to have a shower and pack the bags most evenings. I do feel better when I get out though. I go crazy at home - think too much!!

No time to post as feeding baby but just wanted to put new thread on my watching
((((((((((((waves)))))))))))))

PC can i ask you a big favour could you post another note here for dp as his last ad ran out when you get a min. Sorry to be a pain he said he will copy it this time TIA

hello all. wow part 3 how high do you think we could go? I love the idea of being and old wrinkly and still posting on mn with you guys

Pc im sorry your feeling so down. I have a dreams book somewhere that analizes dreams and what they actually mean. I will have a hunt for it. Does sound like your stressed tho. More than understandable. your doing fantastic. DD sounds so adorable.

I dont know how those of you that work do that and raise the kids. The kids are fulltime for me. I couldnt imagine doing a full days work then coming home and dealing with homework tea and house work too! Its exhausting just thinking of it. I am in awe of you those do this.

Dior i hope you feel better soon. The coughing bug does seem to be hanging around for a couple of weeks. And doesnt seem pleasant at all.

Baffy your solicitor can petition the court for the divorce to go ahead without h's signature. But i can undersatnd you not wanting to press ahead with that. I just wish he would/could sort himself out. I honestly dont think there is anything else you can say/do to help him out of the hole his in. He needs to do this himself now. I just hope he fights to get out and not sit there and give up. But from what you say he sounds very lonely. And thats very

Lily / mac d glad the babies are doing so well.

Mac d you know we will all be wanting a cuddle of you precious dd on the 16th. I love babies

tfm im sure your out there lurking......... hello

Ginned up how are things with you?

Tanee glad roof is fixed. Hopefully dp's stint in the cells may prove to be a blessing. Being in a cell is cold and miserable and depressing to say the least.

I punched xh's xw ( physopath) when she went to attack dd1 when she was a baby and i was arrested and spent time in the cells. Pc's were lovely and friendly but it was still degrading.

Everyone else hello

Wow thread number 3! Lol Sugar, I'd love to be on here chatting to you all in my old age although hopefully by then we'll all be happy and with wonderful men who deserve us (or be rich merry widows, which might be better!)
I think I'm going down with the coughing bug. Ds2 had it over the weekend and gave it to DP and now I'm coughing like an old man. I'll fight it though, I won't let it stop me!!

well, i've instructed the solicitor. took all of 20 mins.

now don't know whether to tell him or let him wait till he gets the letter.

pc {{{{{{{{{ hugs}}}}}}}}

I know how tough it is and its also very very brave of you. Im sorry it come to this for you. Thinking of you xx

Well done PC you are doing soooo well! Taking charge of your life, brilliant!

If it were me, I wouldn't be telling him. I would let the solicitor handle things from now on, thats what you are paying them for. You want as little stress, grief and 'victim-dom' as possible. xx

Sorry not been around ladies, been ill but suffering in silence still keeping a beady eye on you though

Sending lots of love and good vibes to you all xxx

Well done PC. You've absolutely done the right thing. As much as I know it is killing you, but really, what other choice do you have?

Let the solicitor handle it. You don't need to hear whatever 'false' reaction he wants you to hear. I have no doubt it will be how upset/gutted/devastated he is that it has come to this. When in reality, he knows full well that it has only come to this because of his decisions and his behaviour.

All you need to know is that you've taken control, and he will be devastated. I have no doubt of that. Divorce is never an easy option. And he's about to see just how difficult it is.

Stay strong xxxx

Hello everyone else too
TFM - nice to see you, hope you're feeling better xx

Thank you Baffy Still feeling a but ropey but i'm getting there, thank you

Your advice on this thread just gets better and better, you have come such a long way yourself and it certainly shows xx

Thank you

I couldn't do it without you guys though - MN is my only sanity somedays! And seeing some of the threads on here lately that's very worrying!

I'm definitely now firmly in the stage of repeating "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" in relation to myself, and "it's only a phase" in relation to ds!

I have to say, I have learnt so much in these past 18 months. Not the way I wanted to learn it. But things that will be invaluable to me in the future. I know that when this bad time is over I will be happy! It's up to me!

my sister thinks i should tell him from a karma perspective.....

anyways, i've added to the thread on FB in a bit more detail.

thanks for all the support messages. it really does help.

You could add another one to your list Baffy If you don't feel it then fake it! that one works for me.

You should spend a week watching Jeremy Kyle, you would feel you had the best life in the world by the end of it

Thanks PC
You are very brave personally i would wait and let him get letter as will give him time to think what he going to do about it!
TFM hope your feeling better soon!
Hello everyone else!

PC would it make you feel better to be the one to tell him? I can understand if it would - from a karma perspective and so that you do have that chance to hear his reaction (whether or not you choose to believe that reaction is up to you )

You have to do whatever makes you feel better. If you'll regret not having that moment, then go for it!