New Fab & Glam (Part 3 - The Quest Continues!)

[Paddlechick666]

Here we go ladies!

Yes I agree. And everything does happen for a reason. Starting to really see that now.

baffy, feel free to email me anytime.

tfm, thanks for keeping up with me on FB!

lily, sorry you're so down too. good news about the drinks with the party guy tho. doll yourself up and have a good time!

the sun is shining here and it certainly helps.

Your welcome PC.

Baffy, so it's all about sex then. He is living in a fantasy world isn't he. Totally! With OW, with his new found lifestyle, his flat etc. Maybe he see's himself as the next Hugh Heiffner (sp)

He really is making a pratt of himself. If I were you I would be laughing at him. He is having his midlife crisis early!

When you think about it he may have told all the lies to avoid seeming inexperienced in the bedroom department. You and he were together from school age, he told the lies to make himself appear more 'manly'. Also, she may have made him aware that she had been about a bit so, maybe he thought he should make something up so as to appear as experienced as her. Slutguts!!!

Thank you TFM

I was furious at first. I just thought what a sick thing to do and total lack of respect for all those years we spent together.
(As if the fact that he was sleeping with her wasn't disrespect enough!!)

But how does a grown 30 year old man see it as a good thing to be indulging in a 19 year old's (imo VERY unhealthy) requests in that way...

Why couldn't he just say, I never cheated on my wife and I'd rather not make up stories about what I've done with other women just to get you into bed. Surely there's better ways to turn someone on!!

I guess you're right. Easier to just laugh at him.
At least that would give my stomach muscles a much needed work out too

Yes I know the experience thing was an issue for him too. Especially given her reputation.

Baffy that sounds complete fkd up. But from what you have said about her she did sound like a very screwed up kid. Maybe she was trying to be his fantasy in everyway so he would want her?

Does sound strange for him to tell her/others that he had cheated on you before? Hardly something to be proud of!!

Do you think he may have cheated in the past? If he has then he certainly isnt the man you thought he was. For an attractive man he does seem to have a lot of insecurities about himself. Why else want other women when you have a perfectly fine wife at home? Im sure your head is spinning with all this and i wish i had some answers for you x

Lilybubble sorry your down but the drinks with nm sounds like fun!

Yes xh xw was a complete freak.Many stories there!

You might be in for a shock with your next bloke, when he starts asking you what your ex did to you in the bedroom department

I hate to say this, I really do BUT, I know you love me so I'm going to say it anyway I do think you are over reacting a little. I think they are indulging in something that is just all part and parcel of some peoples sex lives. Fantasy! Ok here goes, a bit more of 'personal information' from me.... I have been known to tell an odd fib or two while indulging in a bit of the old bedroom action and, the results can be quite, erm bloody amazing!!

Just to clarify and try to redeem myself a little I never told a fib about having affairs or cheating. Does that make me a good girl again?

Thanks sugar - very screwed up!

TFM I know what you mean - but I still think it's totally wrong to say to someone, tell me what you used to do to other women whilst cheating on your wife... it just seems sick to me.

Don't get me wrong - am open to trying pretty much anything and everything! And I know what floats one person't boat may not do it for someone else
I'd have no problems if it was from the point of view of... tell me some of the things you've done in the past that you'd like to do to me. Or what things have you tried before that you liked, or whatever...

But the context and getting turned on by stories of how your partner cheated on the woman he loved. Sorry. But in anyone's book that is fkd up! It just is!

And I feel justified in being furious that he has told people our whole relationship was based on lies and him cheating. When it's not true. (And I don't think it is.)
OK it ended badly. But why taint all the memories with lies too...

And while you're admitting things TFM - what sort of fibs?? And how did it help?!

Fantasies are good!

oh gosh, i am sooooo embarrassed now! but I could give you tips

Yes, i totally agree that getting off on someone cheating on their partner is sick!! But, it just goes to show what sort of slut she is, it says a lot about her doesn't it. To me it screams of someone who is quite insecure and gets her security using sex. She feels powerful when she sleeps with another womans husband and it's that which gives her a kick, a thrill. Bit abnormal really isn't it

Yes. I think she is messed up more than I realised.

What's hard for me is why H couldn't see that though. Feels sick in every way. She's a messed up kid. And he indulged in her sick fantasies just to get a sh*g.
What sort of a man does that make him

And e-mail me with the tips

MAYBE....maybe.... she was asking him all the questions in order to be 'top mistress'. I mean, if he had led her to believe he had cheated before maybe she was trying to see off the competition. Or MAYBE, she was trying to pick up tips!

Anyway, more fool him for going along with it. Doesn't the man have a mind of his own!!

you norty girl!!

I think you're right about her picking up the tips and wanting to become top mistress

stupid sick little kid!

H too!

moi- norty?!

Also, we have to remember her age 19!!, young girl really, she maybe felt she had to do more to appear mature to the 'older man'. Silly girl Now, we would NEVER be so desperate!

Just think how embarrassed and foolish she will feel when she looks back on all of this in a few years time. Guilty and ashamed too I hope!

I'd hope so too. But I very much doubt it. It was ok, because she loved him...
I'm sure she loved him that first night when she jumped into bed with him not even knowing his surname.

It's H that bothers me more. He should know better. Obviously not. Arse!

Why do men snore when they sleep on their backs?
Because their balls drop over their asshole and block the airway to the brain!

Says it all really

baffy, here's a couple of thoughts:

if we want to be charitable then we could say teh OW wanted to know that she wasn't the first time H had been unfaithfull.

if we're not being charitable then we should pity her that at 19 she's so jaded she needs to get her kicks that way.

as for H, pity again that a) he had to have an affair with a nutcase to feel manly and b) that he had to fabricate stuff to satisfy the nutcase.

i know you might think that reflects badly on you but in fact your H was way out of your reach by that point and he wasn't the man you married by then.

can totally understand the shock you must have felt tho.

thank you xxxxx

Baffy

Having just read what you are going through - you are not alone. Apparently my h told ow about others!!!!! He says it was to make him feel better about the affair . In fact this is one of the things we have just been to see a new counsellor about. We had a heart to heart last week as i had seen in an old email from ow about another womans name and it just made me not feel good.

I also think it makes the ow somehow feel good in that she is not the one to break up the relationship as he is obviously like that before and so will do it again and again.

I was furious as i thought it had given ow more'power' over me in that he could share that with her and not me.

Anyway i hope that helps as it seems it could be another trait of these twatish men.

I think it made him feel better in that he could justify his bad marriage was not as a result of this incedent but had always been like this. Also isnt it nice to think you have 'tamed' the naughty man and he was obviously feeding her all the crap that at last she would keep him on the straight and narrow.

I am fast becoming an expert on the hows and whys of these men - i am finally understanding them and i tell you they have pretty empty minds .

Anyway baffy i hope you are feeling a bit better and have as good a weekend as you can.

Hi to everyone else too and hope the sun shines for the weekend.