New Fab & Glam (Part 3 - The Quest Continues!)

[Paddlechick666]

Here we go ladies!

You know what Baffy, I think, considering everthing he has done to you, the best thing you can do now is push forward with your divorce and get the finances sorted out. It worries me that you are going to end up with a lot of debt and a bad credit history due to H's thoughtless and erratic behaviour. I mean, I wonder what else is going on that you don't know about. I wonder what else he could be up to he has shown himself to be totally untrustworthy and I for one would be protecting myself from now on xx

Already onto it TFM

Went to bank this morning and made sure he has no access to my money anymore, put a stop on the joint account, cancelled the things (insurances etc) that I was paying on his behalf!
Have spoken to him to say that the only financial links I now want are his monthly maintenance payments, direct into ds's account, and if he misses any I won't hesitate to take it further.

Have an appointment with my solicitor later this week just to get some proper advice about where I stand.

He's no longer able to get any sort of credit in joint names and I've protected myself from further financial resonsibility for him.

Just need to see where I stand with the existing debt now.

Thanks so much though. I know the finances/divorce are a matter of priority now.

Damage limitation!!

Not stupid things at all baffy. Very valid things to be upset and angry about.
I suspect h is fully aware now of what a total nutcase he's involved himself with. It's up to him to extricate himself now and I don't think he'll do that if he can have his cake and eat it.
Fwiw, I don't think he wants to be with her but in view of what a liability she is he has taken the easy option of stringing her along rather than the taking the hard option of truly ending it and dealing with the fall out.
If it were me, today, I would alter the statement of arrangements for ds and get your sol to send the divorce papers with a strong letter insisting he sign.
Then refuse to communicate with him about anything other than ds.
Come join me in divorce mode thinking!

Brilliant! You never cease to amaze me it sounds like you have everything well under control.

I think PC is right. Look how long it took him to actually end things with you, he went round the houses for ages and to this day I don't think he has actually, properly ended it. He is a gutless wonder!

Can we start using 'gutless wonder' instead of 'H'?!

I think he's wanted to end it with her for a long time but he knew what a liability she was and that she'd just tell me, so went round the houses yet again hoping one day it would all just somehow miraculously sort itself out!
He put our very good friends in an awful situation at new year by turning up with her. I spoke at length to my friend last night (I was angry at first that they lied to me to cover for him) and she said that she was totally shocked at the way they interacted, and the way she used her sexuality to get him to do what she wanted. At one point, she said "if you don't pay me some attention NOW, there's a bloke over there who's been eyeing me up for ages and I'll just go home with him". So he sloped off after her and left his mates!!!!

PC thank you for the invitation, I would love to join you in divorce mode thinking!!

Gutless Wonder it is!

She really is a weird one isn't she. On one hand you get the feeling she insecure and using s.e.x. to keep him interested then, on the other hand, she sounds so confident, so sure of herself. Mind you, she picked a good one in Gutless Wonder, he has been a real sheep, a right lap dog, doing everything just to keep her sweet, avoid any conflict. I get the feeling she is going to be getting a real wake up call when she joins the real world.
By which time... you my love will be all happily settled in your new home with your new, exciting and wonderful life. Whoever said happiness is the greatest revenge was so right xx

Totally agree. I think she is about one of the most insecure people I have ever met. And at the same time, has a way of using her sexual confidence to get exactly what she wants. She's really messed up. All I feel towards her now is pity. She'll never be happy. How can she when she has no respect for herself.

" Whoever said happiness is the greatest revenge was so right " - hear hear!

OMG Baffy just when you think he can't sink any lower he finds a way.
Well done on sorting out the finances and agree with stopping acess to ds she is way too unstable and he is way too untrustworthy.
Hope the solicitor helps you get things clarified.
Poor you you have given him more opprtunities then anyone would and he has continued to throw it back in your face what a complete p*k they deserve each other!
You and ds are well out of it and i hope as TFM says when he sees you have had the strength to move on without him it will be too late for him!
Great advice PC and TFM

When you told us that she contacted you and met up with you, I remember thinking how much like Gutless Wonder she is in the sense that she has a need to be liked, approved of. She was sleeping with your GW but at the same time she wanted you to be her friend! She needs guidance (guiding straight to the nearest lake!)

thanks lily how are you doing?

pmsl TFM she sent a message this morning saying she wishes she could be like me or have a 'friend' like me as she thinks I'm a wonderful strong woman and she's ashamed of herself for what she's done!
Not sure what she wanted my reply to be
Hope she's not too deeply offended that I have decided not to reply to comfort the woman who has been sleeping with my husband for the past 18 months!!!

The whole 'needing to be liked' thing is spot on.

thanks guys. am off to get my gorgeous ds now and forget about them both. thanks for listening to me
catch up tomorrow xx

Have a lovely rest of Monday Baffy. 'See' you tomorrow xx

Wow Baffy, I've missed a lot since last week! Gutless Wonder - GW? is right. It must be so hard for you, since you've worked so hard to make things right - and I'm sorry you got the measure of him in this way. OW sounds like a right nutter -and she's obviously aware of it, too. Pity I can't feel sorry for her though. Good for you, sorting out the finances etc and I hope he signs those papers soon!

TFM - now I know why DP snores!!!

But what about when I snore??

Well, DP's got a temp job at the local library, which is great as far as it goes. Trouble is, he's still depressed and very stressed about what happened last weekend. He's accusing himself of having abused me as much as if he'd hit me, and scared at the sudden escalation to shouting and foul language, with no warning to either of us. Basically, he's afraid that at this rate he WILL strike me - and I suppose he has a point. I've suggested he seeks professional help, but he says he tried therapy several years ago and it didn't help at all. I'll try again to gently suggest he at least goes to the GP to discuss what might help - ADs or counselling - as he obviously has suppressed reserves of anger that frighten him as much as they frighten me.

He does need to talk to someone Tanee. He needs to get off his chest exactly how he is feeling. He seems to be in inner turmoil. None of this can be easy for you, it's great that you manage to maintain your good sense of humour throughout, that shows that you have managed to protect yourself from DP's depression. We don't want you getting depressed too!

And laydee's snore because it's the only time the tonsil's are relaxed and the tongue isn't going ten to the dozen, unless you talk in your sleep that is!

Okay Teabags, I have a challenge for you. DP just rang and announced that we are going to the Grand National in April. It's a corporate thing which he will be hosting so, not only do I have to be on my bestest behaviour I have to look well turned out too. So, what do I wear? What does a woman pretending to be a lady wear to these things? And do I have to wear a hat? Please help. I need guidance, and not into the nearest lake!

TFM, got this of the Aintree track site:

There is no official dress code although smart is preferable for the Grand National meeting. Ladies Day (Friday) is a spectacle of colour as many people dress up in all the Enclosures

So is it Ladies Day or the Saturday you're going to?

Is it corporate ents in the members area? Will you be doing an evening thing as well?

I see it's April 3rd so likely to still be a bit nippy. Are you a skirt or trouser girl?

If it was me, I'd go for knee length boots, A-line knee length skirt in a nice brown or green with a couple of tops layered. Actually all a bit autumnal rather than spring.

D'you like FatFace? They've got a lovely skirt in which would do the trick.
www.fatface.com/bin/venda?ex=co_wizr-productgrid&bsref=fatface&step=shopcartmulti&invt=16196&orderco l=alphanu&layout=productdetail
with
www.fatface.com/bin/venda?ex=co_wizr-productgrid&bsref=fatface&step=shopcartmulti&invt=18084&orderco l=alphanu&layout=productdetail
or
www.fatface.com/bin/venda?ex=co_wizr-productgrid&bsref=fatface&step=shopcartmulti&invt=18073&orderco l=alphanu&layout=productdetail
and, in either colour
www.fatface.com/bin/venda?ex=co_wizr-productgrid&bsref=fatface&step=shopcartmulti&invt=18118&orderco l=alphanu&layout=productdetail

Bless you PC

It's Saturday 5th and it's corporate i think, not memebers but, not sure, will ask DP tonight. Usually I'm a trouser girl but fancy the idea of showing my legs for a change. I don't think we will be there for the evening. I do need to be warm though!! Can't stand being cold and like you say, it will still be a bit nippy then.

I've never tried fatface I usually go straight to Next or Principles but, I am definatley going to have a look now. Thank you PC, I appreciate your help xx

I love FatFace! If you've got oodles of cash you could check out Boden too. Or ebay for Boden stuff.

FatFace aren't so great for smart casual trousers but M&S or Warehouse or French Connection might turn something up.

You've got heaps of time to browse and shop around tho. If it's only the daytime do then I'd deff go the skirt/boots combo.

That FatFace skirt is so pretty and it's quite lightweight (popped into the shop on my out of the city earlier!) so would carry thru spring for other occasions. As would the tops as they're all lightweight, hence the layering.

Also, if it turns unseasonaly warm you could just add a gilet/waistcoat instead of jacket.

Happy to help

I love the skirt. Plus, it's something I would wear again. Whats the fit like of fatface stuff? Is it small fitting or generous. Do I need to chuck the crisps and stash the carrots?

PS definatley not got oodles of cash. Am hoping for a donation from DP

well, I used to be always a half size too big or too small at FF which was very frustrating!

I'd say they're probably on the smaller side of sizings so where you'd be a 10/12 you might find a 12/14 works best.

the skirts (and trousers) tend to sit on the hips rather than waist tho. I bought a nice skirt in the sales and was shocked it was a 10.

with the tops, as they're layered and generally fitted they should be a good fit and not baggy.

Have you got a store near you?

well, with this outfit you'd get 3 pieces which will all mix and match very well.

the tops will be nice with jeans and the skirt with a cami or t-shirt and sandals for summer.

BARGAIN!

No, no store near us, i would have to buy online.
I'm hoping to come across something online, I hate shopping!

yes it's not my favourite thing either. especially in this weather. you get so hot and flustered as the shops are so warm and you're struggling out of a million layers in the changing rooms etc.

Well, you've done the right thing and started early so you can buy online and return if it's not right.

Found this on ebay cgi.ebay.co.uk/NEW-Fat-Face-Brown-Pink-A-Line-Spot-Print-Skirt-Sz-12_W0QQitemZ140199689170QQihZ004QQ categoryZ314QQrdZ1QQssPageNameZWD1VQQtrksidZp1638.m118.l1247QQcmdZViewItem

worth a perusal there too IMO!