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Original poster

Would you date a man who ..

166 replies

queeeniescloset · 08/01/2023 23:21

Is on long term sick leave and who probably won't work again by choice.

Does not have a home of his own. Lives with his folks.

Has an ok relationship with his kids .

Has minimal savings but enough to get by, even if he is mostly a decent man?

He is 48.

OP posts:
Blogswife · 09/01/2023 19:19

Not a chance !

Stickyoffee · 11/01/2023 19:16

Tuilpmouse · 09/01/2023 18:38

Out of interest, how low is your bar?

Show quote history

I'm not a crazy feminist sooo I don't have any bar

Anon778833 · 11/01/2023 19:19

I'm afraid I wouldn't.

Anon778833 · 11/01/2023 19:26

In general, if you're well enough to date, you're well enough to work.

Not true where autism is concerned. Autistic people can be brilliant workers who perform outstandingly. Then they crash and burnout due to the daily demands of social interaction.

paulinesmithson · 12/01/2023 07:32

queeeniescloset · 08/01/2023 23:21

Is on long term sick leave and who probably won't work again by choice.

Does not have a home of his own. Lives with his folks.

Has an ok relationship with his kids .

Has minimal savings but enough to get by, even if he is mostly a decent man?

He is 48.

For everyone saying no and mocking his situation, there's first of all a lot you don't know about this man. He is clearly not in a stable place at the moment if he has minimal savings and is on sick leave, he doesn't seem to be in this position by choice

KettrickenSmiled · 12/01/2023 11:03

paulinesmithson · 12/01/2023 07:32

For everyone saying no and mocking his situation, there's first of all a lot you don't know about this man. He is clearly not in a stable place at the moment if he has minimal savings and is on sick leave, he doesn't seem to be in this position by choice

Show quote history

It is totally by choice.
OP has updated that he is not prepared to consider any job that doesn't offer the same salary as his previous high-flying role.
He'd rather sponge off his parents, or OP. That is his sole plan for the rest of his life.

Redblanky · 12/01/2023 11:05

If he's handsome and charming and on sick leave related to a specific workplace change, why will he never work again at 48?

What is his work? Will he get medical retirement?

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 12/01/2023 11:06

Nope.

thethreemuskateers · 12/01/2023 11:06

No, he sounds like an absolute loser

Redblanky · 12/01/2023 11:10

I think it depends what you want from the relationship. It might be OK if it's just about occasional dates and sone sex (which sounds perfect!) but even then I'd want someone who could afford to come to nice places with me. I don't expect to be paid for but neither do I always expect to be paying for him.

Plus if he's living with parents, does he always have to come to you? And what does that cost you?

Redblanky · 12/01/2023 11:14

FWIW I know quite a few people who looked amd felt down and out after a period of stress related illness in their 40s but got back to their career or a different one.

He may well feel that he'll never go back or that he's not prepared to accept a more lowly position now, but once he leaves the post he has, things will seem clearer and he may get his act together.

It still doesn't make him an attractive partner but he's suffering from a mental illness, which he may recover from.

XDownwiththissortofthingX · 12/01/2023 11:19

Bepis · 09/01/2023 17:03

Non of that would bother me if I'm honest. I have never judged people on their job status or where they live. If he is a nice man; that's all that matters.

This.

It depends entirely on where you are in life and what you are looking for in a relationship.

I work part-time through choice, I have no intention of ever going full-time again, so if someone would rule me out as a potential partner because of limited earning potential then I couldn't care less. I am perfectly comfortable, I have no intention of ever living with a partner, and I consider my partner's finances to be none of my business. All that matters to me is that they fulfil the companionship role I'm looking for and that we both know the other will be there if and when they are needed.

It's obviously different if you require a live-in partner that you are looking to raise a family with, but that isn't the case with my relationship. We live separately, have no interest in living together or raising family, so the only aspect of their professional life that I'm remotely interested in is that they are happy with their choice and it fulfils them. How much they work and what they earn is totally inconsequential.

Surgarblossom · 12/01/2023 11:22

GreyCarpet · 08/01/2023 23:29

No.

Handsome and charming do not make a relationship and are the least important aspects of a person.

This

GreyCarpet · 12/01/2023 13:01

Anon778833 · 11/01/2023 19:26

In general, if you're well enough to date, you're well enough to work.

Not true where autism is concerned. Autistic people can be brilliant workers who perform outstandingly. Then they crash and burnout due to the daily demands of social interaction.

Whilst true, your post is entirely irrelevant to the subject of the thread.

AlexaAdventuress · 12/01/2023 13:08

48 is awfully young to give up on yourself. That's no age at all these days. Yes, some of us have to cope with unexpected changes of career in midlife, but from what I gather, having a relationship with such a person would be more like being an informal carer than a partner or lover. The charm may merely be a free introductory offer and can quickly wear off once a person's feet are under the table.

Oysterbabe · 12/01/2023 14:16

For everyone saying no and mocking his situation, there's first of all a lot you don't know about this man. He is clearly not in a stable place at the moment if he has minimal savings and is on sick leave, he doesn't seem to be in this position by choice

But as someone who is looking for a partner, I don't really care why he is in that position. Him not being in a stable place at the moment is a perfectly legitimate reason to decide you don't want to date someone.

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