Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Would you date a man who ..

166 replies

queeeniescloset · 08/01/2023 23:21

Is on long term sick leave and who probably won't work again by choice.

Does not have a home of his own. Lives with his folks.

Has an ok relationship with his kids .

Has minimal savings but enough to get by, even if he is mostly a decent man?

He is 48.

OP posts:
Bestcatmum · 08/01/2023 23:41

No, I've done things like that before and come to regret my choices.

dudsville · 08/01/2023 23:41

No then, I'dsay he's someone who's struggled to make sense of the world and learn to navigate it in quite fundamental ways. That would be ok for some, not for me.

Aussiegirl123456 · 08/01/2023 23:42

Oh no!

Original poster
queeeniescloset · 08/01/2023 23:43

I get the impression that he's very comfortable free loading from people but would be helpful domestically.

OP posts:
EmmaEmerald · 08/01/2023 23:44

queeeniescloset · 08/01/2023 23:37

There is no reason he can't work but understand why he is on stress leave at his current job.
I think he'd rather like to be a cocklodger.
Integrity is not his strong point .
He lost his home to divorce and can't afford rent and cm.

Well, do you want to date a man with the long term outlook being that you pay for him? Some might want a house husband.

it’s definitely not something I’d do.

EmmaEmerald · 08/01/2023 23:46

queeeniescloset · 08/01/2023 23:43

I get the impression that he's very comfortable free loading from people but would be helpful domestically.

X post

I see I hit the nail on the head. Damned expensive way to get help around the house but there’s loads of reasons that kind of thing suits some people

KatherineJaneway · 08/01/2023 23:47

Not a chance

Pansypotter123 · 08/01/2023 23:48

@queeeniescloset why are you asking this? Is he someone you're interested in?

Original poster
queeeniescloset · 08/01/2023 23:49

I think I'd like the house husband idea until the house was organised and decluttered but I think then I might become resentful as he wouldn't be averse to jumping into bed during the day for a few hours watching tv which would irritate me enormously.
He is absolutely lovely but can be a bit selfish too.

OP posts:
Duchess379 · 08/01/2023 23:50

Even if he looked like Tom Hardy, it would still be a no. He just wants to be a house husband at your expense. No thanks.

determinedtomakethiswork · 08/01/2023 23:51

Handsome and charming and determined never to work again. Hmmm cocklodger alert.

Original poster
queeeniescloset · 08/01/2023 23:51

@Pansypotter123 .
I can afford it. I'm run ragged from working full time and with kids at home too.
Probably more practical reasons.

OP posts:
determinedtomakethiswork · 08/01/2023 23:51

queeeniescloset · 08/01/2023 23:49

I think I'd like the house husband idea until the house was organised and decluttered but I think then I might become resentful as he wouldn't be averse to jumping into bed during the day for a few hours watching tv which would irritate me enormously.
He is absolutely lovely but can be a bit selfish too.

But you could pay for a cleaner to come in for three or four hours a day for the same price. Why would you not do that instead?

Original poster
queeeniescloset · 08/01/2023 23:52

The company and support would be a bonus

OP posts:
Whitwhit · 08/01/2023 23:53

It was a no initially. Then with each update it’s turned into a FUCK NO NO NO.
He sounds absolutely bloody awful.

FloydPepper · 08/01/2023 23:54

Nothing wrong with being on stress leave from current job. I presume those saying no aren’t saying that’s a reason

not wanting to recover from that and get a new job. That’s a good enough reason tbh

MyWillyBrokeTheDogBowl · 08/01/2023 23:54

I would HAPPILY spend eternity on my own and die alone before I’d shack up with a cocklodger with no drive or aspiration.

I don’t care if you’re broke, but having no drive or plan to move on from your low points in life is a hard pass.

MrsHGWells · 08/01/2023 23:54

Absolutely not, cock lodger special

Dullardmullard · 08/01/2023 23:55

Christ does he have an enormous cock, good in bed as the answer would the hell would I.

he’s admitted he’s a lazy fukker and would live of someone.
how the hell havent you got the ick

Original poster
queeeniescloset · 08/01/2023 23:56

I kind of have the ick and then I see the practical benefits.
I don't think anything would make him happier than being a house husband actually.

OP posts:
determinedtomakethiswork · 08/01/2023 23:58

For God sake stop talking to yourself into this situation. All he wants you for is your money so that he can have a nice comfortable life. If you lost your job you wouldn't see him again. Have some self-respect!

MyWillyBrokeTheDogBowl · 08/01/2023 23:58

What practical benefits?! Genuinely please share, because I’m either being thick or you must have not told us the full story because based on what you’ve said in the op he has 0 selling points.

Copperoliverbear · 09/01/2023 00:01

100% not. X

Original poster
queeeniescloset · 09/01/2023 00:01

I suppose I am just pondering.
He would be the house husband. Basically.
I'd have the support and company.
Probably a stupid idea .

OP posts:
Sarahcoggles · 09/01/2023 00:02

How would he cope with being a house husband if he can't cope with any kind of paid work?

Swipe left for the next trending thread