I’ve been best friends with someone for well over 20 years. A few years ago, she moved away.
Since then, we would chat over text pretty much every day. Sometimes all day. Sometimes if life got busy, a little less.
We’ve both had a pretty hard last year and I would say leant on one another for advice/venting at various times. We talk about a mixture of big issues/petty complaints/total fluff like strictly.
I did not hear from her for several days from NYE and after a couple of messages about various unimportant things just sent a ‘Hope everything is ok, here if not’ message. She eventually replied that she has decided to now keep her phone on aeroplane mode and away from her for most of the time and is finding herself feeling calmer and said being away from her phone had been ‘lovely.’
Since I am undoubtedly the person she would hear from most I’m gutted to hear that not hearing from me has been ‘lovely.’ She of course has every right to use her phone as she wishes but since she is so far away that basically means a massive reduction in our communication. I don’t feel like I can send her the normal lightheartedness nonsense that loses its currency if it’s not seen for 12 or 24 or 36 hours, and I feel like I should only message if I have ‘news.’
I have tried to gently ask what she wants in terms of communication going forward but all shes done is reiterated that she feels relaxed and hasn’t had anything to update me on.
I’m feeling totally bereft if I’m perfectly honest. She has completely changed/removed our main form of communication. She has also not once asked me how I am since making this decision about her phone usage.
Do I just need to accept her way of doing things from now on, or is it worth me being honest about how it’s made me feel?
I want to make clear I haven’t been harassing her and know that ultimately it’s completely up to her how and when she communicates. I’m just sad that she has made this unilateral decision.