Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Would you date a man shorter than you?

370 replies

livingthesimplelife · 03/01/2023 22:46

Just that really - was having a discussion around a dinner party tonight and the issue seemed v. contentious, so I said I would post on here to gauge other opinions!

OP posts:
DuchessofSandwich · 04/01/2023 13:29

I would and I have.

DuchessofSandwich · 04/01/2023 13:30

Nimbostratus100 · 03/01/2023 22:54

yes. Height is irrelevant to me

From an evolutionary stand point, many species are sexually dimorphic, having one sex much bigger than the other. This is advantageous, because one large parent gives offspring a measure of physical protection, and one small parent means that parent requires fewer resources, so there is more available for said offspring.

It is not always the male that is bigger, in may species, including most birds of prey, the female is significantly larger. It doesn't matter which sex is bigger though, but having two different sized parents is advantageous.

Hence why it is instinctive to some extent, for human males to seek out smaller mates, and human females to seek out larger ones.

But people vary in how much they are influenced by instincts, and how much they want to be.

Interesting. I'm taller than the average female and have no problem dating a shorter male. Perhaps this is why.

QueefQueen80s · 04/01/2023 13:33

I did, an inch shorter for 16 years. It worked well in that it always felt like we were equals, on eye level if that makes sense! Not a tall man making me feel small, my family of men are all very tall and I was the baby so it has a dominating feel.
But I never had that natural attraction for him. I fell in love with someone just a few inches taller and it was perfect.
So always taller now but not too tall 😂

I don't get the short women who want 6fters though, any man even a little taller than me feel tall. But we all have our preferences.

HoneyIShrunkThePizza · 04/01/2023 13:41

Yes, but I wouldn't date a fat one. My husband is 6ft though which is perfect for me. I went on a date with a 6'6 man years ago (I'm 5'5) and I thought the different felt a bit ridiculous.@

5128gap · 04/01/2023 13:43

I'm a shortish woman who prefers men over 6'.
Thats only 'strange' if you see your partner in terms of yourself rather than as a separate individual.
My height is irrelevant to my preference for male height, which is about them and their appeal to me, not about me with them as an assessory, that needs to look good alongside me.
This is why to me, height is not 'relative'. A man is tall, average or short, however tall a woman is.

Tiddlywinkly · 04/01/2023 13:44

No. I'm 5ft 5 which is about average height for a woman, so a man shorter than that would be pretty short. Tall men make my insides do a little dance. I'm independent as they come, but some primal need for 'protection' kicks in. That and I need someone to reach the top kitchen cupboard shelves...

chelle0 · 04/01/2023 13:48

My husband is shorter than me. I'm 5'9 and he's 5'7. He's quite broad so I've never felt like a giant with him.

FallonofDynasty · 04/01/2023 13:48

No but I'm 5ft 1. If I was taller, why Not?

I know 2 women local to me who are 6ft and 5ft11 respectively , they both have shorter husbands - (as in quite a bit shorter).

Whatmarbles · 04/01/2023 13:49

Yes, I find tall men a turn off.

Norfolkungood · 04/01/2023 13:59

I'm 5ft 7 Ex husband was an inch shorter than me. Luckily DS didn't inherit his dad's height he's 6ft 2. Plus 15 years of not wearing heels I have fabulous feet😅

Dervel · 04/01/2023 14:02

shrugs If only 1% of the worlds population would think you are gorgeous (based on whatever criteria), that’s still 79,000,000 people!

I think it’s totally fine to have preferences. I wouldn’t want some woman to date me whilst overcoming some trait I may or may not possess, just in the name of not appearing shallow.

Chemistry and attraction is deep and complex and not shallow. I think too many people settle quite frankly.

Stag82 · 04/01/2023 14:04

I’ve never dated a man shorter than me, but I am only 5 foot so height is not really an issue. My ex was around 5,7 and now partner is 6,2

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 04/01/2023 14:04

No because I'm 5'3.

I've dated short guys, though.

LBF2020 · 04/01/2023 14:04

No - but I'm 5ft 3 so he would be very short?

Dillydollydingdong · 04/01/2023 14:08

Yes. My man's shorter than me. Not a lot, probably only half an inch (I'm 5ft 5 and a 1/2"). He's cute, cuddly and funny. What's not to love?

Baconand · 04/01/2023 14:12

No but I’m 5ft 3!

StarlightLady · 04/01/2023 14:16

Yep. It's all the same on the vertical. There are far more important things than someone's height.

EBearhug · 04/01/2023 14:17

inquisitorgeneral · 04/01/2023 11:29

If I was single, I wouldn't rule somebody out just because of his height. But I'm a fairly short woman and there aren't a huge number of men out there who are actually shorter than me, so it's unlikely

Same here. Most men are taller than I am. There are lots of other things I want from a man. The ability to dust the higher cobwebs or prune the tall rose is useful, but not essential.

DivorcedAndDelighted · 04/01/2023 14:27

Palmfrond · 04/01/2023 12:31

Two questions from me (M 6’4”, thanks for asking!);

  1. Why does this question come up so often? Do the women o mumsnet, or women in general, really give that much of a shit? Or are these threads posted by men for their own perverse edification (gratification?)?
  2. Wouldn’t these threads be better titled; Would you date someone you’re not attracted to? Because, IMO the question is exactly that fucking stupid.

Thanks. I’ll can take my 6” heels off now.

Sometimes these threads are along the lines of "I fancy this bloke loads, but he's shorter than me and I'm worried people will tease me about it. Does it matter?"
So the question isn't always "that stupid" . It may be individual attraction vs fashions in our society, or helping individuals weigh different aspects of attraction.

Palmfrond · 04/01/2023 14:34

DivorcedAndDelighted · 04/01/2023 14:27

Sometimes these threads are along the lines of "I fancy this bloke loads, but he's shorter than me and I'm worried people will tease me about it. Does it matter?"
So the question isn't always "that stupid" . It may be individual attraction vs fashions in our society, or helping individuals weigh different aspects of attraction.

Show quote history

Well as far as I can remember the majority of these threads are addressing the question in general terms, and they are usually popular because they give everyone a chance to chime in with their thoughts which, if I am in any way representative of a mumsnetter, go mostly ignored because someone once dating someone else who was 1/2” shorter than them is not very interesting. I’m not hating, just saying.
if someone did make a thread with the question you hypothesize, then yes, that’s not stupid, but I think everyone would rightly tell them not to be so silly, and the thread would probably fizzle out after 2 pages.

Cuppasoupmonster · 04/01/2023 14:46

@Palmfrond who knows. My ex was 6’6 and extremely proud of it - he used to shoehorn it into conversation at every opportunity, and clearly expected it to be the first thing people commented on when they met him. It got a bit embarrassing

AuntieMarys · 04/01/2023 14:53

I'm 6 feet and married to someone 5 feet 8. I was previously married to an over 6 footer who was a twat.

tuvamoodyson · 04/01/2023 15:57

No.

WinterFoxes · 04/01/2023 16:03

ToBeOrNotToBee · 04/01/2023 09:58

I once dated a man who was the exact same height as me.

Only when wearing shoes I would be an inch or so taller than him.

I didn't mind. He didn't mind.

Our relationship didn't last, but what he lacked in stature he absolutely made up between the sheets.

IME, being of similar height adds something to the experience. It just flows better.

JustKittenAround · 04/01/2023 16:21

Being 5’10 I still prefer taller men. I have had zero trouble with that. I think being tall attracts taller guys naturally and shorter men self exclude themselves.

l

Swipe left for the next trending thread