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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Would you date a man shorter than you?

370 replies

livingthesimplelife · 03/01/2023 22:46

Just that really - was having a discussion around a dinner party tonight and the issue seemed v. contentious, so I said I would post on here to gauge other opinions!

OP posts:
Winniethepig · 04/01/2023 11:29

Nope

daisyjgrey · 04/01/2023 11:31

No, but that's because I'm 5'1" and most of the men shorter than me aren't men, they're children.

SaintLoy · 04/01/2023 11:43

Making height a deal breaker is so shallow and silly. I have dated all heights and the no.1 priority has always been: are they interesting?

DivorcedAndDelighted · 04/01/2023 12:00

If you're open to dating shorter men, or sounds like you could get some really great blokes because so many women do filter out on height, leaving more for you to choose from!

I used to think height was important to me, but then I met two men who changed my mind. One had the most gorgeous eyes and I thought it would be a real benefit to be on a level with those. Another really knew what to do with his body....

Anyway, isn't this one of those things where online dating leads to people filtering out shorter men, but if you get to know them in real life, you see the bigger picture and their personality / fit body / face can be appreciated more?

Hyperion100 · 04/01/2023 12:04

Question for men - Would you date a woman who was fatter than you?

ReneBumsWombats · 04/01/2023 12:07

Hyperion100 · 04/01/2023 12:04

Question for men - Would you date a woman who was fatter than you?

Suggest you find a male dominated forum for that one.

Anotheroneandanother · 04/01/2023 12:12

DivorcedAndDelighted · 04/01/2023 12:00

If you're open to dating shorter men, or sounds like you could get some really great blokes because so many women do filter out on height, leaving more for you to choose from!

I used to think height was important to me, but then I met two men who changed my mind. One had the most gorgeous eyes and I thought it would be a real benefit to be on a level with those. Another really knew what to do with his body....

Anyway, isn't this one of those things where online dating leads to people filtering out shorter men, but if you get to know them in real life, you see the bigger picture and their personality / fit body / face can be appreciated more?

Dating a shorter man who truly doesn't care about the height difference is how to find the self confident men. Self confidence, for me, is extremely attractive. I think sub consciously I've associated short men with being attractive as a result

Oher · 04/01/2023 12:17

If he was otherwise average, no.

If he was kind, sexy and rich, damn right I would.

Winniethepig · 04/01/2023 12:17

Hyperion100 · 04/01/2023 12:04

Question for men - Would you date a woman who was fatter than you?

Surely there are incel groups online you can flock to mate

daisyjgrey · 04/01/2023 12:19

Hyperion100 · 04/01/2023 12:04

Question for men - Would you date a woman who was fatter than you?

My partner does. What's your point?

DishyRishy · 04/01/2023 12:23

Who let the incels out? Blimey there's a bit of an infestation these past weeks. Sock puppets, anyone?!

LuciferRising · 04/01/2023 12:24

Well, I fancied Tyrion in GoT, so yes. And I am ~ 5 footish.

I'm more inclined not to date someone who is overweight or doesn't take care of their health.

browneyes77 · 04/01/2023 12:27

Personally, no.

I’m 5ft 7, so prefer 5’11 upwards. 6ft is ideal. (My DP is 6ft).
Mainly because I don’t want to tower over them in heels and I don’t want to bend down to kiss them 😂

Thats just my personal preference though. I wouldn’t judge someone else who was dating someone shorter.

Palmfrond · 04/01/2023 12:31

Two questions from me (M 6’4”, thanks for asking!);

  1. Why does this question come up so often? Do the women o mumsnet, or women in general, really give that much of a shit? Or are these threads posted by men for their own perverse edification (gratification?)?
  2. Wouldn’t these threads be better titled; Would you date someone you’re not attracted to? Because, IMO the question is exactly that fucking stupid.

Thanks. I’ll can take my 6” heels off now.

Mammillaria · 04/01/2023 12:34

Dating is not an equal opportunities activity

I agree 100% with this.

I'm attracted to men of all heights, have dated short men and happily tower over DH in my heels, but I don't think people should be compelled to widen their dating pool in the name of equality.

I do, however, think people who find themselves with a very narrow dating pool might be wise to reflect whether all their preferences are totally and independently immutable, or whether it's more like a quotient where being exceptionally funny/good looking/ripped/talented/whatever might provide enough physical attraction to make up for short-fallings (pun intended) in other areas.

It's a bit like those house hunting programmes where they start off saying they need a house within 2 miles of a supermarket and a train station, no work needed and beach views and end up falling in love with a beach-front fixer-upper 5 miles from civilisation because the moment they saw the beautiful view they realised their criteria were not of equal importance.

xogossipgirlxo · 04/01/2023 12:34

No. I am already short!

FourTeaFallOut · 04/01/2023 12:35

Yeah, I would and have, although DH is taller. I have a friend whose DH is a good six inches shorter than she is, and it's totally un-noteworthy, it's not an issue.

Palmfrond · 04/01/2023 12:40

Mammillaria · 04/01/2023 12:34

Dating is not an equal opportunities activity

I agree 100% with this.

I'm attracted to men of all heights, have dated short men and happily tower over DH in my heels, but I don't think people should be compelled to widen their dating pool in the name of equality.

I do, however, think people who find themselves with a very narrow dating pool might be wise to reflect whether all their preferences are totally and independently immutable, or whether it's more like a quotient where being exceptionally funny/good looking/ripped/talented/whatever might provide enough physical attraction to make up for short-fallings (pun intended) in other areas.

It's a bit like those house hunting programmes where they start off saying they need a house within 2 miles of a supermarket and a train station, no work needed and beach views and end up falling in love with a beach-front fixer-upper 5 miles from civilisation because the moment they saw the beautiful view they realised their criteria were not of equal importance.

Exactly this. Because of my height I’m very likely noticed by more women, but then they get a whiff of my wretched personality, and whoosh! Criteria magically reassessed!

category12 · 04/01/2023 12:45

Palmfrond · 04/01/2023 12:40

Exactly this. Because of my height I’m very likely noticed by more women, but then they get a whiff of my wretched personality, and whoosh! Criteria magically reassessed!

😂😁

Mammillaria · 04/01/2023 12:46

Palmfrond · 04/01/2023 12:40

Exactly this. Because of my height I’m very likely noticed by more women, but then they get a whiff of my wretched personality, and whoosh! Criteria magically reassessed!

Mwah ha ha, yes, works both ways 😂

RagzRebooted · 04/01/2023 12:50

I'm 5'10" and DH is 5'8". He's broad and reasonably muscled (in a not gym/weights way) so he still feels bigger than me (even when I'm fat) so I don't mind or even really notice any more. Shorter and skinny would be more of a problem.

Cuppasoupmonster · 04/01/2023 12:51

@Mammillaria i agree completely. Had I met DH on tinder rather than real life, we both realised we would’ve ‘screened’ each other out and would never have clapped eyes on the other’s profile!

I also have a friend (early 30s) who is desperate to settle down, but has very specific criteria for what she wants - handsome, rich, ambitious, excellent manners, no baggage, first date ‘chemistry’ etc. And I would be surprised if she finds all that - she’s a wonderful woman but I would say physically average, and has some issues with depression that can make her quite a hard work girlfriend.

VickerishAllsort · 04/01/2023 12:53

I'm only 5'1" so I'd struggle to find one. If I was, say, 5'9" or more no problem.

Mammillaria · 04/01/2023 13:05

I'm glad you found each other!

DSS is 5' 7" and says his height has only ever been an issue when he tried online dating.

Mammillaria · 04/01/2023 13:05

Mammillaria · 04/01/2023 13:05

I'm glad you found each other!

DSS is 5' 7" and says his height has only ever been an issue when he tried online dating.

That was in reply to @Cuppasoupmonster