Is it unreasonable to come home from a night out at 4am when you're in a relationship? I did this twice last January and it causes major issues in our relationship and it was rocky until March. He then proposed in April and since then we have been planning the wedding and everything was fine until 3 weeks ago when I went out again and again came back around 4am as I lost track of time. When I got back we started arguing and he said he doesn't know if wants to marry me anymore, I thought he was saying this was out of anger but since then he refused to speak about it or continue planning it when I bring it up.
He's not very social and doesn't really go out, he just works, goes gym and spend time with his family, we have a joint weekend business that we run together. However he's not controlling and seems to only have a problem with me coming back late. He's 27 I'm 29. Any thoughts would be appreciated x
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Relationships
I think he's calling off the wedding...
AppleBee321 · 03/01/2023 10:37
Supernormative · 03/01/2023 11:52
Neither of you sound mature enough for marriage. You lose track of time until 4am (how is this even possible unless you are really drunk?) and cheated on your previous partner with him. He stonewalls you when you try to discuss it and is controlling.
springerspanielpuppy · 03/01/2023 11:35
If he told you last year that staying out until 4am was a deal breaker why did you agree to marry him if you knew this was something that you would want to do again? All the cries of control don’t really stand up if this is the only thing that ever bothers him. You knew it did for whatever reason.
Many people take drugs, it’s a deal breaker for me so if my DF said he wanted to take drugs every few month and I decided to call off the wedding, it doesn’t mean I’m trying to control him. He’s an adult he makes a choice and deals with the consequences, as do I.
whattodo1975 · 03/01/2023 11:35
Mumsnet if full of threads abouts husbands coming home much later than expected because "they lost track of time" and the generally consensus is "trust your gut" and leave as he's having an affair.
ShimmeringShirts · 03/01/2023 11:54
So you cheated on your ex with your current partner and now he’s scared you’re going to do the same to him. You’ve made your bed tbh.
Tamarindtree · 03/01/2023 11:40
Maybe it’s me but where do you go to at 4.00am in the morning?
Staying over at a friends house having a girls night in is one thing but hanging out in a bar or a club that late when you are not single does seem odd to me!
Butwhichoneistheman · 03/01/2023 11:46
Take back control and hand him back the ring. You can do much better.
This kind of thing escalates. Get out before there are children involved else he’ll be punishing you for imaginary misdemeanours in front of your children.
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