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Original poster

Should I message?

384 replies

AbiVenete · 03/01/2023 10:21

Years ago, while backpacking, I met a man who I instantly clicked with and we had a whirlwind 7 days of the most amazing sex I have ever had. We both had separate flights and we agreed to meet back in UK. He wrote his name and number in a book (this predates mobiles and Facebook) which I then lost.

A few weeks ago, while reading the news online, I instantly recognised his face, name the same… he has just taken a high profile job in my region. I immediately felt that tinge of excitement, looked him up, he’s on LinkedIn but nothing obvious anywhere else so no idea if he’s single or anything.

Am I being ridiculous to think about messaging? He probably a) wont remember me b) is married or unavailable. I am single again and keep drafting messages but unsure exactly what to say. Should I message or just leave it in the past?

OP posts:
EssexDad86 · 04/01/2023 10:24

Alcemeg · 04/01/2023 10:19

7–8 messages in and still no cock photo, sounds like a keeper OP 👍👍👍😍

hmm dunno we normally wait til about message 9 😂

Mumofonegirl1 · 04/01/2023 10:27

Yes go for lunch!

LadySweetPea · 04/01/2023 10:29

I can't believe the posts claiming he wouldn't remember you. Every man will remember 7 days of amazing sex on a backpacking trip.

I'm so pleased to read that you contacted him and are in touch. Looking forward to the next installment!

Aussiegirl123456 · 04/01/2023 10:37

EssexDad86 · 04/01/2023 10:24

Hmm dunno we normally wait til about message 9 😂

😂

beastlyslumber · 04/01/2023 10:38

100% he's married.

Aussiegirl123456 · 04/01/2023 10:38

LadySweetPea · 04/01/2023 10:29

I can't believe the posts claiming he wouldn't remember you. Every man will remember 7 days of amazing sex on a backpacking trip.

I'm so pleased to read that you contacted him and are in touch. Looking forward to the next installment!

I know right! I can’t believe how many people on this site seem to oppose a possible love story!

Slimjimtobe · 04/01/2023 10:38

This is lovely ! So glad you messaged him and he sounds really decent

newfence · 04/01/2023 10:39

beastlyslumber · 04/01/2023 10:38

100% he's married.

God, you're fun...

Aussiegirl123456 · 04/01/2023 10:41

beastlyslumber · 04/01/2023 10:38

100% he's married.

You know this for certain how exactly?

ZaphodDent · 04/01/2023 10:46

Many men will avoid revealing relationship status in case it gets in the way of you stroking their ego. If he tells you he's married it potentially puts an end to the messages he's enjoying.

beastlyslumber · 04/01/2023 10:47

Aussiegirl123456 · 04/01/2023 10:41

You know this for certain how exactly?

Show quote history

Sorry, that should read 100% *convinced he's married.

beastlyslumber · 04/01/2023 10:48

newfence · 04/01/2023 10:39

God, you're fun...

Show quote history

??? What's fun got to do with it?

TheDuchessOfMN · 04/01/2023 10:49

I do agree with @ZaphodDent I think if I were you, I would ask if he’s married or in a relationship, before you agree to meet him.

Just casually drop it in, “Do you have a family, partner”? or whatever

EBearhug · 04/01/2023 10:55

I would meet for coffee and photos, and be prepared to hear all about his wonderful family as part of a friendship.

But I'd probably have my best underwear on below my respectable outerwear, just in case he's single...

Megan1992xx · 04/01/2023 10:57

You must message him, these moments make your life great. Let us know what happens.

fruitbrewhaha · 04/01/2023 10:57

I'm so excited......................... ok but lets calm down. It's just lunch and some memories.

Honeyroar · 04/01/2023 11:00

I’d be asking if he’s married or got kids etc at this point. I don’t see why you can ask about careers but not love life (when that’s what you want to know most!).

Wfhandbored · 04/01/2023 11:04

AbiVenete · 04/01/2023 09:27

We are now 7-8 messages in, less formal in tone and we’ve shared some nice memories. We have only messaged about our careers and travels, neither has brought up the subject of partners/family etc. I thought it best to let him ask that rather than have me message him out of the blue and the. ask if he’s married. His last message said: ‘ it’s been great catching up after all these years, but I have to work now. If you ever fancy lunch or a coffee, I have some great photos from xxx you’d probably enjoy seeing.’

I’ve not replied to that yet

YAS REPLY

Find out about family etc first obvs but if he's a single Pringle, you go and mingle!!

Palmfrond · 04/01/2023 11:09

Yeah, I’d be a bit cautious if I were you OP.
A connection, albeit historic, is already there. It can be a very hard thing to brush off. So you meet, the connection is long dead, you have a nice chat & catch up and all is well.
But if the spark is still there? You meet once and walk away. But then what? You stop thinking about it?
I am a man and I have to say him not mentioning family is a teensy bit 🤔, so I’m presuming he’s attached. Uncomfortable to admit, but I’m happily married and this is what I would do, because going in with the holiday snaps of the wife & kids is a bit of a buzzkill and allowing this question to go unanswered is a bit titillating, even if there is no intention of doing anything. Or maybe I’m just a scumbag.

Livelifelaughter · 04/01/2023 11:13

toucancancan · 03/01/2023 10:46

Go for it! Life's too short to wonder what if....

Completely agree. If he is with someone he will say so, you really have nothing to lose..

Shoemadlady · 04/01/2023 11:14

Message! What's the worst that can happen? That he doesn't really remember and that it's only you that's kept the flame alive? The alternative....he could have been devastated you didn't ever call and had always thought of you! Go for it! X

ILoveMyBedTooMuch · 04/01/2023 11:14

You are remembering that young man from all those years ago and him vice versa. These things can be fun as you do get to reminisce but take it all with a pinch of salt. "I've always thought about you" blah blah .Men like flattery like this - been there and done this. The very fact that you messaged him has given him a huge boost and he will want to take it further for a while and hear what you have to say. Mark my words if he is married or in a relationship he will not tell his partner.

girlmom21 · 04/01/2023 11:16

I doubt he'd have so readily offered to meet if he's married

ILoveMyBedTooMuch · 04/01/2023 11:18

girlmom21 · 04/01/2023 11:16

I doubt he'd have so readily offered to meet if he's married

Oh you poor naive person 😂

BethDuttonsTwin · 04/01/2023 11:19

I would and I would also be delighted to hear from someone who messaged me under similar circumstances.

I suspect that many of those telling you not to and that you’ll appear flaky, eccentric etc are probably suspicious wives who wouldn’t want their husband’s past popping up in case it makes him restless 😁