Should I message?

[AbiVenete]

Years ago, while backpacking, I met a man who I instantly clicked with and we had a whirlwind 7 days of the most amazing sex I have ever had. We both had separate flights and we agreed to meet back in UK. He wrote his name and number in a book (this predates mobiles and Facebook) which I then lost.

A few weeks ago, while reading the news online, I instantly recognised his face, name the same… he has just taken a high profile job in my region. I immediately felt that tinge of excitement, looked him up, he’s on LinkedIn but nothing obvious anywhere else so no idea if he’s single or anything.

Am I being ridiculous to think about messaging? He probably a) wont remember me b) is married or unavailable. I am single again and keep drafting messages but unsure exactly what to say. Should I message or just leave it in the past?

If he lies or misrepresents, there's nothing op can do about that.

If he's not single and says so .... It might avoid a build up for op (and him) that is appropriate.

*inappropriate

Ask him if he is single because let's face it now you have explained your end of why you haven't been in touch, which is a relief and nice of itself, I'm sure a part of you wants to see if the chemistry is still there and why meet then find out he is not single?

If you meet, find the chemistry is still there but he is in a relation, you will be gutted.
If you find out he is taken now, no harm done you can move on with your life easier than meet, find there is chemistry, then be upset he is in a relation and you start an obsessive limerence or an affair.

It is very unusual, in my experience, for attractive, solvent, personable etc. men (let alone high status ones) to stay single for long whether never married, divorced, or separated.

Duckingella

wanna bet ? 😂😞

Have you mentioned your family/marital status to him in a catch up way? I think it's unusual to get to 7 messages stage and not given a brief summary of what you've done since then. So, yes, I'm in the"Be wary" camp. Nostalgia about lost loves can be intoxicating.

Well, I know plenty of men who are super successful, attractive, charming and they are single - not committing, enjoying their travels and lifestyle and are quite comfortable at that 🙄

Yep I know loads of single men who match that description just like I know lots of single attractive women. Choosing to stay single.

Ah! Amazing. Have a great time & keep us updated. 😃

Oh how wonderful!

What are your thoughts about what you’ll wear and the look you are going after?

In their mid-40s? That would be a bit of a question mark for most people I reckon.
Bit of a… “red flag”.

I don’t know any single men in their 40s. I am wracking my brains trying to think if I know any single adult men at all. I can think of one in his 50s who is actively dating and will probably find someone soon.

Intake it you have no need to frequent dating apps, where there are thousands in that age bracket. Utterly ridiculous and ignorant comment, and is detailing from OPs thread.

I don’t know any single men in their 40s.

I do. I work in IT, which may not be unconnected.

The only men I've met who have that appearance turned out to be gay but not "out".

I know; it's like there's a parallel dimension somewhere some posters live in .... Wish I knew where it was.

And there are lots on dating apps, although some of those have conveniently forgotten to mention their wife/girlfriend, so not quite as single as all that. Quite a few divorced.

But it will be natural enough to ask about what happened to him after the stolen bag, did he ever get married, have kids, etc.

Cool story, and welcome to mumsnet! 💐

Oooh very promising indeed.

Exactly the same thing happened to me 30 years ago, only luckily he didn't lose my address. We met up again in the UK a few months later. I'd like to say the sex was just as hot as it had been on holiday, but in reality...

(actually, it was even better, but I'm a cynic at heart, and not Barbara Cartland 😀)

I hope it all goes really well. If he is in a relationship then he might have found it a bit clunky to mention it to a former lover and it's something you can ask in the natural flow of a conversation.. anyway keep us posted. Fingers crossed for you...

It is not a red flag for a man to be single in his 40s 😂 What on earth. Have you seen the thousands upon thousands of singles on dating apps. Is it a red flag if a woman in her 40s is single?

Absolutely! 👏👏

I agree... what has gone on in your life in the last 20 years?