How many of your male partners have actually been any good in bed? been

[1980sfookup]

Just on the back of something I read on another thread, looking back over my "career" I'm late 50s now but have had three serious relationships including one marriage. Have had eight other sexual partners between (my) ages of 15 to 54 (not had sex for four years - single now) but thinking back can't think of any one of these guys that were outstanding in bed. Have I just missed out and there are some real super stars out there or is it just the way it is? Saying that tho I had a brief fling with someone who was very eager to please but I didn't really fancy him - he was a rebound/revenge fuck which days more about me than him sadly. Anyway - can anyone attest that there are men out there that still prioritise a woman's enjoyment in the bedroom ... Or wherever

Out of 13 (over 40 years) only 2 I felt a real connection with. ie like the rest of the world didn't exist.
Of the rest, one was a total turn off, and the rest were varying degrees of ok- good.

I've had a lot of sexual partners

Probably 3 have been what I'd class as amazing

Then about 50% of the rest have been good, 25% ok and 25% bad

I’ve had 42. Only two have truly cared about my pleasure rather than seen it as a chore or irrelevance.

(I’ve been with men who pretended to care about my pleasure but only as an extension of of their ego so I was required to perform rather than truly enjoy)

Two. DH and Ex DH.
All the others were just meh.

Out of 20ish, one who was mind blowingly off the charts; three who were very good; a couple truly terrible and the rest were ok. Like a previous poster mentioned, it's not just technique - emotional trust is needed

Ive only had two men since my split aged 48

one was a get it over as wanted sex again
the second one we had amazing chemistry , I don’t know why to be honest as he’s a tricky character - but as im older now i get the best out of our time together - but I do not understand why we have this chemistry

i do think we get better with age at sex

I'm 45, and only my DH. He truly knows me and loves pleasing me and we have such a good connection emotionally and the trust around it all

Before him, I'd say two I'd class as good, but even then no where near as great as DH.

The 2 only ones who were really good were pretty promiscuous and also massive twats lol.

Well I think I must be the most unluckiest on here . Was married for 15 years , ok nothing special . Have a long term dp , ok nothing special . That's it.

I think I've had about 30 male partners - some of those drunken one night stands so it's probably not fair to judge. Only two stand out, and they are my current husband and the man I was in a long term relationship with before him. And even he wasn't anywhere near as good as my husband, though he was a big leap up from anyone I had been with before at the time.

I don't know for sure, but I think that this is partly due to the fact that, as I have got older and more experienced, so are the men I tend to go for, and partly that I am better myself at sharing fantasies, being open about what I want etc.

One.

We were both young but he was amazing!

Out of about 20ish men I've had sex with only 4 were amazing. My first boyfriend when I was a teen/early 20s spoiled me as our sex was mindblowing. No one has measured up to him and I'm now in my 50s.

Two of the four I wasn't in love with so the sex was just physically good, whereas with my first boyfriend it was physically and mentally off the charts. The fourth one was about 12 years ago, and I was in love with him and the sex was really good.

My recent ex it was usually below average to average. I think some of it was due to not really being crazy about him and his technique or lack thereof.

Most of the other men were horrible or barely average.

One of my previous relationships was exceptional at sex, he was so good looking, I was heartbroken when I got dumped.

He had quite a checkered love life and I'm glad he dumped me.

He messages me now and again, my daughter in law died and one of his son's is very ill. You wouldn't know from the messages that we once had a thing. We were both around 19 and single

I'd say about 30% were crap, usually through inexperience or thinking they're God's gift to women so don't need to make any effort.
The rest were good.
I had one ex that I wasn't sure about at first but I think it was because we were friends and it felt a bit awkward. Once we realised that we would stay friends whatever happened, we opened up a bit more and found we were really compatible (liked the same stuff, etc).
One other ex was absolutely mind blowing. It was always amazing with him. It was like he just knew what I wanted. And oddly, it's probably one of the most vanilla ones. I don't know why it was so good, it just seemed to work with us. It's a shame he was so crap with the rest of the relationship.

This.

The notion that sex is something done by a man to a woman is an enduring problem. Men have more margin for error in that they're more likely to be able to orgasm during mediocre sex, but it's a joint effort to make it anything more than that.

I have had many and going against the grain most of them were great. Lots of them one night stands where I didn't know their name and they didnt know mine. My older friends always joked (in my single days) that I have a radar for a man who is good at sex. I think because I like sex a certain way and so I consistently go for men who I know can give it to me.

<5% of my sexual partners have been English though so I guess my experience can't count for much on an English site!

Only slept with one man and I was in my 30s.

It was worth waiting. He's fantastic - absolutely prioritises my pleasure.

I can’t remember the % but someone else might. There’s a thing about the % of women who orgasm during sex with a man vs how many times men orgasm with women vs how many times women orgasm with women - it’s very interesting!

Ex was incredible, well fit all round. New hubby had him over ten years, he is above average but noting like ex, so ok.

DH is a Cuk and I've had one-night stands with well over a hundred guys as he tries to keep track and only been twice with two of them. The older I get and the younger/fitter/hung the guy often mid/late 20's to mid 30's, its been dynamite with about 30 I guess. I think it may be the thrill of the whole thing and a very eager stranger, not sure.

I think I've had around 15? can't be arsed to try and count as a few were one night stands.

1 crap one (1 Night Stand)
3 amazing ones, very knowledgeable or enthusiastic to please, amazing chemistry couldn't get enough type (dh included)
The rest just good (not bad not amazing)
could live with good as I'm very proactive teacher so they'd get better in time.

I think it depends on what you mean by 'good sex'. I've had 4 sexual partners (not many, I know) but thinking back, DH is the best. Is that because we've been shagging for over 10 years now and have a good connection etc? Probably. He is very happy to give me pleasure either before or after himself. He gets off on me coming and is probably a better sexual partner to me than I am to him. Are we swinging from the chandeliers or doing it up against the living room wall four times a week? No. But I'm very happy with the level and quality of the service The other three were only out for themselves and as I was inexperienced, I didn't know better. Perhaps if I'd had more partners I might have found someone 'better' than DH but I've no complaints.

Interesting thread. Form me: 15 men over a 32 year period, from 20-year-olds to 60. Several of them were pretty inexperienced.
80% or more I found very good indeed, maybe I've been really lucky.

Ex was incredible, well fit all round. New hubby had him over ten years

I totally misread that 😁

Out of around 12, I seriously can't even remember any of them 😳 my husband was the best and I have recently just split with him after 12 years so maybe that's why I can't remember the others as I was under 21yrs old.

I've had a few but only two were amazing.