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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I did something completely idiotic on Christmas and I feel horrible

148 replies

Alracalpaca · 27/12/2022 15:07

I have posted here before and gotten some really wise insight, feedback and objective opinions from many of you, so I am turning here again. I have been married for 7 years to a man I love with all my heart. We moved to a different country a few years ago and since them we have built a small but close expat friendship group. One of my closest friends (we will call her Linda) and I have bonded due to our very similar personalities and also supporting each other through periods of depression and other mental health issues. About 2 and a half years ago I started noticing that my husband expressed an interest in Sam's comings and goings and whether she would be joining group gatherings etc. Way more than he ever has for any other friend. Offering to go pick her up or drop her off when she visited etc. Just nice small gestures, but things he wouldn't usually do. I also saw a shift in body language when he was around her. He looked at her... the way he used to look at me. Sam is beautiful, interesting, talented and does cool stuff like play video games and play drums. Obviously she's like a walking male fantasy. So that hurt, but I know attraction is a normal thing and it happens. So when my husband again kept asking about her I confronted him about it. He weakly denied it. Then I told him to please stop lying to me and that I understand attraction is normal but that if you don't indulge it, it should pass. So he then stopped denying it. He never expressly admitted it. But anyway. Another friend of ours (who I did not discuss this with) told Sam that she had a dream that Sam slept with my husband and that she was so upset about it because it hurt me. Now, it could be nothing, but knowing this friend, she communicates in very indirect ways and I think she picked up on something and was warning Sam indirectly. I made a point of spending time with Sam mostly alone. Sometimes we would spend time in a group but I assumed he was focusing on his marriage and letting this little crush pass. Then Christmas rolled around. All our friends were coming to ours for lunch. She had been travelling the days prior, so when I mentioned she was coming he said "Sam's coming?" and his eyes lit up. I felt a pang. My stomach dropped a bit. But I let it go. On the day he was snapping at me for every small irritation. Sam would go stand outside and smoke and he would be right behind her following her outside. When he noticed that I was sad and withdrawing he finally started to be affectionate after snapping the whole day. But the damage was kind of done. I had been drinking excessively and was not thinking straight. Sam also noticed I was not okay. My husband and I were cleaning up and I was planning on going to bed because I knew I was drunk and upset and I didn't want to fight when I was in that state. I accidentally picked up his phone instead of mine (we have the same phone models and standard black cases) and I saw there was a text from her. I couldn't see what it said. I gave him his phone and walked away. I went to lie in bed and I was crying uncontrollably. She then texted me and asked me "how do you feel" and I said "about what?" she then said "just checking in" and I responded "meh." She said she knew something was up and could I please tell her. After a bit of back and forth I STUPIDLY I KNOW I KNOW told her the whole story. Immediately she said she wants to die and she never intended for anything to be misinterpreted etc etc and that she needs to remember she's not back home in her home country and she can't behave the same way here. And that I'm her closest friend and she doesn't want to lose that. She kind of made it 100% about her which was a bit jarring but I totally understand she was caught off guard. She then sent me screenshots of the text she sent. It was a thank you for hosting with a heart emoji. He responded "always a pleasure" with a little blush smile emoji. The text above it was a thank you for a happy birthday text he sent her. With two heart emojis. But that is how she texts with other people too so I don't think she meant anything by that. Anyway the next morning I wake up to a very long text from her where she said that she opened up to me and trusted me and felt welcome in my home. And why did I not tell her this earlier, why did I wait until she was feeling most vulnerable to tell her this. And that she can't see us getting past this. I was really taken aback because she's acting like I maliciously plotted to hurt her and accused her of hitting on my husband when I expressly and repeatedly said I am not angry with her and I don't think she did anything wrong. I know I put her in a horrible position by telling her. I know that. And I apologized profusely for that and I know that was wrong and selfish and horrible of me. But I didn't do it maliciously. I was hurt and vulnerable and drunk and I stupidly cracked. I confronted my husband and he told me that he doesn't want to be with her. And that he is sorry for how he behaved. I told him he needs to decide whether he wants to explore other options, in which case he needs to leave, or whether he's going to focus on his marriage. He chose the latter. He keeps saying he never had a crush on her and he doesn't know how to convince me of that. I don't know what to believe. But regardless, now my friendship is ruined and I am an idiot. I just really didn't realize how hurt and angry she would be by me being honest. Anyway... how would you approach this situation going forward?

OP posts:
Alracalpaca · 27/12/2022 15:09

Oh no, Linda is Sam. They are the same person. Sorry I got confused with my pseudonyms.

OP posts:
MrsBrandonspiano · 27/12/2022 15:09

Is Sam Linda?

Alracalpaca · 27/12/2022 15:11

Yes Sam is Linda. I don't know how to edit the post now.

OP posts:
limerentidiot · 27/12/2022 15:12

Honestly, I would be a little sceptical of her reaction. I am not sure she is a trustable friend. At a minimum I think she has been enjoying the attention from your husband.
Flowers

MamaFirst · 27/12/2022 15:15

Her reaction screams guilt to me. Way weird and overreacting if she has nothing to hide. She'd maybe feel awkward and a bit embarrassed to be in the mode of your domestic, but her reaction makes it entirely about her. Weird friend.

twinmum2022 · 27/12/2022 15:16

Weird reaction from her. If it was me I'd give her a wide birth and just focus on your marriage.

Either way it looks like what's done is done, try and be kind to yourself and move on 😊

NowDoYouBelieveMe · 27/12/2022 15:17

Why did she need to text him thank you for hosting if she was still in your joint company? Did she send you a thank you text as well?

She said at first she didn't want to lose your friendship, but the next day said she can't move past it? She doesn't seem to have tried very hard.

I don't think you accused her of anything so I don't see what you have to be so sorry about. You sound like you were annoyed/sad at your husband, not her. Unless you've left that bit out, I don't know why she's so mad at you. She sounds a bit self obsessed really.

ArcaneWireless · 27/12/2022 15:17

Sam is not your biggest problem here OP.

StickyCricket · 27/12/2022 15:20

Why did Sam text your husband while still there at your house in his company?

Who told you that a mutual friend told Sam she had a dream that Sam slept with your husband? Let me guess, Sam?

Sam sounds like a twat. Tell her to get the fuck out of your house.

TashaBasha · 27/12/2022 15:22

The "secret" text she sent him whilst still in his company raises massive flags to me like they are secretly messaging each other whilst on everybody's company. Surely she picked up on his affections for her. Us women aren't stupid, I can always pick up when men take a liking to me. And she would have too. She liked the attention, she's now gaslighting you as she feels guilty. Cutting her out of your life is no biggie in my opinion.

With regards to your husband, could you go to counselling to get to the bottom of his behaviour and see what is causing him to be a dick?

I'm sorry this happened to you OP, but your apologetic tone doesn't sit right with me. You have done absolutely nothing wrong in this scenario you have been wronged by two people closest to you.

WeepingSomnambulist · 27/12/2022 15:23

So because you have a shitty husband who has been moaning over your friend and following her around, you decided to text her about it, as if it somehow has something to do with her?

She is a friend to both of you. Her test messages seem to just be thanks yous when a thank you is warranted.

Your husband is the problem. Following her around, watching her, asking about her.

Has she ever shown any interest in him? You haven't mentioned it so I'm guessing no. She just acts the same way around him as she always acts.

Why have a go at her and not your husband? He is the problem. She is just a woman being followed around by her mate's pathetic husband and now she is getting the blame?

You took your annoyance out on the wrong person. What a lech your husband sounds.

safetyfreak · 27/12/2022 15:24

Sam is enjoying your husband attention and texted him, you cannot trust her. But, your husband also a dick...sorry.

WeepingSomnambulist · 27/12/2022 15:24

TashaBasha · 27/12/2022 15:22

The "secret" text she sent him whilst still in his company raises massive flags to me like they are secretly messaging each other whilst on everybody's company. Surely she picked up on his affections for her. Us women aren't stupid, I can always pick up when men take a liking to me. And she would have too. She liked the attention, she's now gaslighting you as she feels guilty. Cutting her out of your life is no biggie in my opinion.

With regards to your husband, could you go to counselling to get to the bottom of his behaviour and see what is causing him to be a dick?

I'm sorry this happened to you OP, but your apologetic tone doesn't sit right with me. You have done absolutely nothing wrong in this scenario you have been wronged by two people closest to you.

How was she still in his company?
OP said her and her husband were cleaning up and she was going to go to bed when hhe saw the text. Sounds like people had gone home already.

VioletLemon · 27/12/2022 15:25

Sam has been inappropriate and should have known its not cool to pull that sort of shit. Fuck Sam. Your DH has been twattish and has flirted and been flattered. So what if you brought it into the open? He knows how you feel now.

Notyetacatlady · 27/12/2022 15:28

Did she also text you thanking you for the evening. To me this will be the difference between her bring one of those people who enjoys drama and attention or she is innocent and a victim in your marriage issues

MamaFirst · 27/12/2022 15:28

WeepingSomnambulist · 27/12/2022 15:23

So because you have a shitty husband who has been moaning over your friend and following her around, you decided to text her about it, as if it somehow has something to do with her?

She is a friend to both of you. Her test messages seem to just be thanks yous when a thank you is warranted.

Your husband is the problem. Following her around, watching her, asking about her.

Has she ever shown any interest in him? You haven't mentioned it so I'm guessing no. She just acts the same way around him as she always acts.

Why have a go at her and not your husband? He is the problem. She is just a woman being followed around by her mate's pathetic husband and now she is getting the blame?

You took your annoyance out on the wrong person. What a lech your husband sounds.

Huh? When did she have a go at the friend? When did she blame the friend? She clearly explained to her what was wrong with her and why she was upset - after being pushed to explain, drunk and upset. This was the stupid part, I don't think she ever blamed her friend? She expressly says she doesn't blame her friend?

Notyetacatlady · 27/12/2022 15:28

Being one sorry

LightSpeeds · 27/12/2022 15:31

It's probably best it's all come out. If you want to continue with your marriage then it's best she's not on the scene so let her go...

Icecreamandapplepie · 27/12/2022 15:32

You did nothing wrong.

At best, she is a very selfish person.

At worst, they are in the initial stages of flirting or starting something.

She needs to go, focus on your marriage.

MuckyPlucky · 27/12/2022 15:32

When I picture Sam I just see Julia Davies’s character from Nighty Night. Sorry OP, your friend sounds odd, insecure, manipulative and dangerous. And your H sounds like a twattish kid in a sweet shop.

LogicVoid · 27/12/2022 15:33

It isn't you. It is them. Stop apologising.

lunar1 · 27/12/2022 15:36

I'd honestly trust your gut on this one. I have two very close female friends, their husbands are lovely people and I'd say our friendships are more like that of cousins. There is nothing that could remotely be crossing lines, lingering looks, flirting etc.

WeepingSomnambulist · 27/12/2022 15:36

LogicVoid · 27/12/2022 15:33

It isn't you. It is them. Stop apologising.

It isnt "them." It is her husband.

She hasnt ever said her friend ever did anything inappropriate. The husband is following her around and morning over her, but she didn't do anything.

I hate how women always end up getting the blame after inappropriate behaviour from men.

The husband sounds like a lech. His behaviour was so bad that it was noticable to his wife and others. But instead of people telling him to back off, they make veiled warnings to the innocent woman in it.

Nothing the OP says suggests this woman courted his attention or flirted back. But she is the focus of most of the posts rather than the lechy husband.

laurwalsh · 27/12/2022 15:38

There is NO way she was blissfully unaware he fancied her. If she is beautiful as you describe she's probably lived her whole life getting that kind of make attention and is acutely aware of it. I say this without bragging but experiencing a similar life experience and I would NEVER text my friends husband with heart emoji's or text at all!! Duck her and good riddance. You've done nothing wrong. I also think your husband is a real dick here putting you in this situation. The main takeaway is rhT you have done NOTHING wrong so don't beat yourself up for one minute longer

butterfliedtwo · 27/12/2022 15:42

LogicVoid · 27/12/2022 15:33

It isn't you. It is them. Stop apologising.

Definitely this. She isn't a good friend, and your husband has had his head turned and is being an absolute idiot.

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