Dating Thread 237 - Wintertide Warmth Support & Festive Frolics and

[OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss]

Merry Christmas one and all. Thanks for all the support and dating wisdoms...

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

@Mila14 Thank you!!

I just want to do the best I can for my kids. My parents separated when I was in my mid twenties and it wasn't easy for me then. My parents can't stand each other and that's made life hard, especially when the girls came along. I didn't want my girls to be in the same position.

I'm sad my ex decided to share what should have stayed between her and I, but I'll keep my counsel as I want my girls to have a good relationship with their mum.

Thank you for that Ted Lasso clip - I’d heard of the show before but never seen any of it. Makes me want to catch more!

sorry to those who have had tricky times over Christmas. For some reason things are always worse this time of year

update on MrF, we have been able to see more of each other while my mum has helpfully had the DC. My ex has been very difficult since finding out I am seeing someone and has been much more awkward concerning having the DC than usual but my mum is determined that I get the time I need to have a life of my own too.

we spent today together and it was lovely. Lots of food, sex and watching TV. I’m a little crazy about him I must admit, trying to tread carefully and not scare myself too much 😂

This is such a lovely update.

Enjoy. And I am beyond jealous ❤️

@Mila14 thank you so much.
Difficult day taking my DC to visit my parents as DS1 (adult) lives with his dad and is getting poison dripped. I absolutely never say anything negative about their father but I know he bad-mouths me. DS2 lives in house share so is calmer but staying with his dad for Xmas in th old family home that I left this year after years of being told to leave. STBXH is now getting nasty (was ‘amicable’ till the financial discussions.
so concern for DS1 has overtaken my issues with Mr Serb.

First Christmas with bf of 1 year..
Feeling a bit meh tbh
I keep getting fleeting moments of getting the 'ick'
He's great in so many ways but I'm not sure the physical spark is there 🙈
But he does make me laugh a lot and treats me really well 😊

Same…🙄…teenagerdom…

Hey gang 🙂 just popping on to say hellooo🎄 and happy Christmas to all. I’m still not dating but open to meeting someone if anyone nice came along. No one has for ages… 😄 but I’ve just been really good, chilling doing my own thing and not looking for anything.
Hope 2023 brings all good things to everyone on this thread! 💖💕

Awwww…Lightning strike!! Being crazy for him is BRILLIANT. Thank goodness for your lovely mum. I know about ex wife/ ex husband idiocy in dumping kids so we can’t plan properly.
Really important to get cover and don’t tell much to ex husband. Try to keep your relationship to yourself. This is like a fucking competition…they are unhappy if you got sorted earlier than them !!!
Story of my relationship with Mr Ex. I’ve been lucky with au pairs/family and best friends cover when I needed it. Now his DC older and fleeing nest. Mine more self sufficient thank goodness ( within being screaming selfish teenagers of course) 😂😂

Butterfly…lovely to hear from you. Looking forward to hearing your shenanigans in the new year !
Happy new year lovely

Oh dear… lightning spark not happening… not to worry. You can decide what to do next at your own pace. Mothership is here for all doubters in current relationship, those on the OLD malarkey , the ones on a pause from OLD , the ones who will start OLD in new year …etc. Happy new year to everyone and lots of lightning bolts for everyone

The financials are a minefield. Keep good counsel and don’t trust the xh. That’s my best advise. You be a lady and stay away from the poison dripping Jangolina. I always think time puts everything and everyone on their right place.
I really hope you can talk to Serb and discuss a bit more what bother you. You are crazy for him and he’s amazing in other ways. Best wishes and happy new year

Thank you -I just love how you root for this total stranger Mr Serb 😁😁😁😁

Your mum sounds great, good for her!

ButterflyOfShay

hey 👋
happy xmas
long time no read !

Hello all,
thought I would pop by and say hello 👋.
Relationship NoShow is still “on hold”,
the Lightning bolt ⚡️ comment is interesting, I’ve never had that “rip her clothes off “ feeling with any woman I have ever dated 😞

NoDatingForOldMen

i don’t know if that’s worth a ☹️

I am a bit ‘rip clothes off’ with my iron

and he’s not a bad person , he’s really not

but he’s also a bit messed up and VERY selfish and not necessarily compatible with my longer term needs

so I think If you’re happy that’s a more important measure than a YouTube video

OLDstolemybrain

yes your mum rocks !

This is so interesting! Thanks so much -really useful man insight. Had this a couple of times from Mr Serb and feeling inadequate that it was only a few times. But actually perhaps okay?

I think I have missed that you and NoShow are on pause @NoDatingForOldMen is that due to your situation with your parent? What does on pause mean to you and are you both in agreement?

Thanks all. It is a very nice place to be and I keep reminding myself that it’s only been about 6 weekS

Ex knows nothing about the new relationship other than I’m seeing someone & I only told him that because even after 2 years he was still trying to get back with me 🤦🏻‍♀️ but now he is refusing to have DC overnight and cancelling things, I know what he’s trying to do but my mum is a superstar and is on to him too

@NoDatingForOldMen sorry to hear you’re on a pause, is this while you care for your mum?

Hi everyone, just popping in to say hi :)

I'm going to give online dating another Try and I signed up for bumble premium for one week. Wow surprising how many guys like me each day and also how many ugly guys 😅

@OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss @OLDstolemybrain
yes, I moved in to mums after her last OP to look after her ( 2 week ago), took her upto my sisters for a family Xmas.

when I 1st started dating NoShow someone on this thread cautioned me about dating a person with anxiety ( sorry cannot remember who), NoShows anxiety is normally pretty low level, but the run up to Christmas it’s ramped up a bit and quite frankly got on tits ( albeit I don’t actually have any tits.. ) with the need for reassurance.

so the current relationship hiatus was certainly a joint idea but more from me really, if we resume is yet to be seen…, but right now I don’t really feel like I want to, but that might change in the weeks to come

Do you mean there are lots of ugly men?
or only ugly men like you?

I'm really sorry to hear about your mum's health.

I actually get the anxiety I have had to reign mine back a lot. I think it's ok when you're very far into a relationship but it can be a massive downer at the beginning.

It's difficult but it's really not an additional stress you need just now 🤗

That sounds challenging and intense @NoDatingForOldMen

May I ask how you broached the pause button with NoShow when her anxious behaviour started getting on your (non existent) tits?

Really sorry to hear of your mum's deterioration. My mum is suddenly in a terrible state - can't walk without keeling over but won't use a walking aid (wtaf?) so only a matter of time before she really properly falls and breaks herself. It's weird that they'll always be 35 years old in our heads even when they're enfeebled by old age.

@OLDstolemybrain I'm going to trawl old threads for the early ones where you started dating your lovely sexy iron. I remember the challenges with your kids and your mum offering to step in so you could carve out some adult only time. What a legend she is. Amazing you are having such a fabulous romantic adventure. Just what you darn well deserve. Keep us updated here please as we love a good news story to keep us going in our darker hours.