Dating Thread 237 - Wintertide Warmth Support & Festive Frolics and

[OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss]

Merry Christmas one and all. Thanks for all the support and dating wisdoms...

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

NoDatingForOldMen

ah I’m sorry
I totally bruised after mine ending too

BUT
we learn and we rally and springs coming

I’m sure we both have a huge amount to offer so let’s that heart heal but don’t QUIT
just pause for as long as you need to

Worsy , Howlongy and even myself…we can take a break and make ourselves stronger. But we keep trying out there because we all know we are happier in a relationship. If we were happier without one, then we could stop searching…Let’s just take one day at a time and see what happens in spring…

Oh I don’t know if I’m happier in a relationship actually

I basically started OLD because I was a bit horny , and continued because it was an escape from single mum working life (and horny !)

but there have been positives , learnings and I do have some hope

but last years been crazy and anxious and until my head cleaner I’m not going back out there
maybe for casual (and this time I’ll do it properly !!)

I'm only in it for casual @Thisisworsethananticpated but don't tell anyone that as can only do casual with high quality types.

My definition of casual equates to more than just fruity times but not much more. Meals out + fruity times really. Don't have time energy or inclination to meld lives with anyone but would be nice if I found someone long term who gets me and vice versa to grow old with.

Im not actively interviewing for an official life partner. Don't need one.

I think Oncey is on the money…she’s open to things happening naturally, even her goal s not dating life partner material. Worsy…I think you complained about Balkan not being there for you and not having more support at one time or another. It’s a really difficult equilibrium to not go possessive and want more if you really really like the bloke and develop feelings. I think the question is “ am I strong enough if the FWB develops into more than that”?? It’s a minefield. I don’t want to get hurt and lose myself in unhealthy situations. That’s why I can’t do FWB. If the guy is not partner material he gets sacked unceremoniously. You have to be really sorted and strong to just do FWB and not fuck with your head and your feelings. I think even @ibelieveinmirrorballs had trouble with this and she’s a hell of a sorted one among us anxious sort

Mila14

this is why when I recover my next date will be (hopefully !) the very very young man

surely I can’t get emotionally attached to a very young man ? Surely my brain will be kind to me on that front

that’s assuming we fancy each other

here’s hoping 😂

😈😝

you know what they say about young men

Young, dumb & full of cu…

😂😂

My youngest told me a joke

What's long, thin and has c*m in the middle?

A cucumber 😂😂😂

😂😂😂

I had a nice enough second date tonight but would have probs enjoyed it just as much on my own (dinner and flix). He's a bit quiet for me. Asked lots of Qs though and the convo was therefore two way. Not hilarious. Humourous but not lots of lols.

Meanwhile have you ever swiped on a profile that you think 'OMG he/she looks AMAZING!!!!' (In both pics and words) I honestly don't that's ever in all my months and years of swiping ever happened to me. I swipe left on most of the obviously gorgeous ones and most of them have profile words that are meh.

Until now... saw a profile that I liked so much I couldn't stop swooning over his pics (and screengrabbed them for future, ahem, use... in case we didn't match). His words were very me too and then we matched.
That's a first. Hope he replies to my message and doesn't turn out to be a nob as he is honestly the most gorgeous person I've ever laid eyes on. Now I know what @Mila14 has been banging on about with her MrEx and the funny gallops.

Pls excuse the peri menopausal unhinged was over pics of a fella I've never even spoken to.

Off to 'review' his pics again now.
Night 🤭

@OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss not swiping, but once I meet someone I sometimes go all swoony. I just need that connection, and then the pictures look 😍. Fingers crossed it works out for you. Peri meno is playing merry hell with my libido. I’d swear I haven’t even had a libido for twenty years, and not much of one before that, but now I’m freakin’ obsessed. It’s hilarious (and very inconvenient) and I like that MrPottery enjoys it, and is mildly amused by it but never mocking or shaming. (He’s very good for my confidence!)

@NoDatingForOldMen you do sound down. Dating is such a rollercoaster. The highs are great, but the lows really suck. Thank you for your advice about the beer. There are a couple of places close by, so I popped into one and the very nice young man there made me up a ‘birthday box’ of half a dozen different bottles, so hopefully there will be something MrPottery likes. I figure you can’t go wrong with sex and beer! Then I remembered I made a million sausage rolls at Christmas, and there are lots in my freezer, so I could take some over. And some bonus gin fell into my basket and while I was there.

So MrPottery is getting birthday sex, beer and sausage rolls. 🤣🤣🤣.

Should I chill it? (The beer. Not the sausage rolls, I know what to do with them. And we all know about the sex, so that just leaves the beer!)

Yes. I've definitely had the 'ohmygod' feeling from photos and profiles.

Say no more.

@Eeksteek I love that he's mildly amused but not making you feel bad. He sounds wonderful.

@NoDatingForOldMen I'm sorry you're so low. Sometimes OLD is so awful 😞

@Eeksteek if the beer is an ale, like an IPA or a PaleAle the don’t chill as those are served at room temp generally, if you have got a larger, like a Pils or something like that then best to chill those

So MrPottery is getting birthday sex, beer and sausage rolls. << this sounds absolutely heavenly to me, I know blokes are supposed to be simple, but that’s pure grade A birthday porn right there.

So I have a question for the ladies, I know a woman who is doing some OLD, and I seen her profile pics on FB and they are all really good ( professionally taken, really good), but she had them done in 2014, so almost 10 years ago,, and those are the pics she is using for OLD as well, is it common for women to use pics that are neatly a decade old ?

i don’t think a profile ever gave an erection, but there would be that certain something , the undefinable element, about a picture or a profile the would me stop and look.,
but those women were never interested in me, I hope this guy works for you

@NoDatingForOldMen I don't know about others but mine are bang up to date - no point using old surely as if you meet the game is up. I probably look better now anyway than in the midst of young kids 10 years ago 😄

Thank you. The sex, beer and sausage rolls is amusing my childish little mind no end. Sex, drugs and rock n roll for the cool kids. Sex beer and sausage rolls for the over-forties!!! 🤣🤣🤣. I’ll get the beer in from the car, where it is no doubt pretty chilly today.

you MATCHED…Oncey…OMG…deep breath and come to the mothership for reassurance on comms. These things do happen. Now DON’T GO CRAZY TEXTING THE GUY… one sentence and wait for answer

Hell no. Pics must be recent. The professional pics are a red flag for me unless your profession is model.

So, I have a third date with Mr Tech this weekend. We are going for dinner and he has said that if I would like to enjoy a couple of drinks, I am welcome to stay at his. He does have a spare room.

I’m really conflicted about what to do… I have definitely rushed the physical side of things with previous irons and that hasn’t worked out well.

I guess if it’s going to go that way it’s better to find out sooner rather than later and have a bit of fun along the way.

Or, I make it clear I will be staying in the spare room, but then my will power is shockingly bad.

Or to make sure nothing happens, I don’t stay…

Please help me to make my mind up!

I don’t like the offering. I prefer it when things move naturally to go to yours or his… If you like him enough and you are very attracted you will know what to to do but the fact he’s invited you after dinner to his place and convenient has an extra room looks funny weird to me.

How far from your house is dinner and drinks @BluntEmily learning from my past rushings if you are looking for a long term thing I'd keep it to not staying over but if you are up for casual liaisons then just say you'd like to stay but the spare room won't be needed.

MrGorgeous has written back and what a super message too. I've never been this hot around the collar over someone I've swiped on before talking to. Apart from my first heartbreaking dalliance on OLD so do know the dangers. I'll see if he fancies a chat/vid call over the weekend.

I'll pop a new thread together folks

Here is the new thread! See you over there one and all

Dating Thread 238 - Sex, Beer and Sausage Rolls (for the lucky ones!) www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/4724191-dating-thread-238-sex-beer-and-sausage-rolls-for-the-lucky-ones

I wonder if she is a bit insecure about her looks.? In my post-split experimental phase I got talking to a woman that shared some professional photos she had taken and in real life she was very different. She was just as attractive and sexy in person (just in a different way) but I could tell those photos had been taken a long while ago,