Dating Thread 237 - Wintertide Warmth Support & Festive Frolics and

[OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss]

Merry Christmas one and all. Thanks for all the support and dating wisdoms...

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

I am having to try really hard not to let my ex live in my head. He absolutely does not deserve my headspace and has no place in my current relationships. It’s not easy, though.

Eeksteek

back on a the HORSE hey

im pleased he made you feel safe and comfortable

and you could express yourself sexually

be careful you don’t fall totally in love
bit you probably will 😁

@Eeksteek delighted to read your updates. You are so right about us not letting our past define us and yes its not always easy. He sounded respectful and that is so helpful in letting you relax and enjoy. May your confidence soar, you deserve it.

Three. Count ‘em, baby. One. Two. Three.

I’m utterly delirious. I’ll calm down, I hope. I’m terrible for getting carried away. I know there is some heartbreak here at the moment, too. I don’t want to be insensitive. (Especially since I was pretty dented over that other guy not long ago. What was his name again? 🤣😉🤣)

Eeksteek

re entering sex with more confidence is a potent thing indeed
3 must have blown your little mind 🤣

this is where i was a year ago with my ex (sorry !)

what everyone’s been saying about insecurity

I had it too , unfortunately jn my case it drove some less positive behaviours from my side

I realised I fell into a very binary mindset, and maybe attributed some negative male behaviours to him as a default (like assuming he was cheating - he wasn’t)

i wish everyone luck , it’s hard to trust again

I dunno. He’s such a happy go lucky guy. I feel safe and comfortable but not the way I did before. It feels much healthier. Not that Pug himself was in any way toxic - I’m getting better at picking them, at least - but I don’t think the way I felt about him was healthy. (Not that you can do anything about how you feel.) This is much more what I was looking for, where ever it goes.

I’ll shut up now. I feel like I’m monopolising the thread. Except to say a huge thanks to everyone. I’d NEVER have got this far without you. I really appreciate everyone’s time and support.

And that’s why it’s been ten years. We’re human. We’ve been hurt. We can be kind to ourselves and demand better.

Love love love your updates @Eeksteek and they are very much encouraged and welcomed here.

We're all enjoying the OLD adventures in our own ways with our own matches but these incredible first sexual experiences with fabulous new lovers after relationships of the past is what it's all about surely. I'm very much enjoying your fun times with you.

Meanwhile I had a 3 hour chat with a potential new iron. Didn't set me ablaze but he did ask a few Qs. I laughed a bit and we had a good amount of common niche interests. He asked to meet on Sunday and has offered to drive the hour from his town to mine. Suspect he is talking to loads of women so have zero expectations other than suspect we'll both be ambivalent or not interested BUT would prefer to meet before saying No thanks as might be forever wondering. He's 5 years younger than me and very tall.

I met my ex on Match... and he definitely wasn't an eligible man 😂😂

You and your tall guys! (I’m really enjoying not having to kiss standing on one leg!)

I feel I'm not contributing much to the discussions, still feel like a newbie 😬 but I read everything when I have a chance.

@Eeksteek yes I'm trying to be the same, but only just realised last night why I'm probably feeling insecure. I'm trying not to rush him, he clearly feels the same, he messages at least twice a day, rings most nights that I don't see him and meets with me 2 or 3 times a week. And there's absolutely no pressure from him which is great too.

excellent @Eeksteek is this mister pottery?

@Eeksteek you delirious away my lovely.

I'm so chuffed for you.

I'm hoping to relose my virginity soon too. Lots going on in the background, but I'll leave it there for now.

And yes I'm an all or nothing when it comes to male action. Must remember they're as multi layered and hurt as us.

Here's hoping 2023 is our year.

Oh and it's my birthday 🥳

Definitelycross

happy birthday !!! X

Happy birthday Deffy!!

Oncey, who’s this new tall man? Are you still meeting MrHill and the other chap? I assume this is a new one. The important thing is that you like him and he’s right for you

How are you Worsy?

Mila14

ive got covid ! Which explains why I was so low energy and tired
And kids have it too

but I’ve been resting and I have to say I feel more calm and peaceful

Thanks for asking x

beepbeepme

I hope you can manage the anxiety and be peaceful away from him
and enjoy your life when he’s not around

on paper he’s behaving beautifully I have to say !

so stamp on those gremlins

I hate Match. I paid for six months, but you can’t filter by distance, or even age, so I keep getting ‘Brett, 24, from London, likes you’. And I’m like well, just no, Brett. Go find a girlfriend. In London. I’m old enough to be your mother and you’re two hours away. For a 100 percent parent, they might as well be the moon! I’m stretching it with MrPottery at 45 minutes.

MrPottery (and yes it is him @ilovebrie8) thinks I should try out a few for their drive and stamina (just joking, not actual polygamy. I’m not up for that!) because he’s benignly amused at (and delighted by) my perimenopausal sex drive. Which he figured out all by himself and knows all the right words for. I’m quite impressed.

@Eeksteek I keep going on with Match though. As it's the only dating site I have ever had any success on so far 😂😂🤣

Well you can have Brett if you like? How close are you to London? 🤣😉🤣

@Eeksteek

Not very close at all. I live just outside Birmingham 😂😂🤣

my ex shouldn't have been on Match (or any dating sites) at all. He didn't process the one element you need in order to sustain a healthy relationship. The need to love somebody. So that's why he wasn't, and will never be, eligible.

I’ve never done sending nudes, but I’m a bit tempted. I’m just crowdsourcing opinions and views atm. Do you ladies do it? Or not? Does it worry you? I’m never likely to be a politician (anyway it’s practically in the person spec for them these days!), but obviously there are implications. I don’t want to be impulsive about it (and definitely no time soon), but MrPottery is very visual (as men tend to be) and I think it’s be fun with him.

@Eeksteek I have sent nudes in the past. It didn't worry me very much, as I knew the people I was sending them to wouldn't be showing anybody. In a funny way, it actually made me feel liberated.