Who pays for the window broken by snowball?

[Toloveandtowork]

Wondering if anyone can offer advice.

My son, 11, and his friend, also 11, were out playing in the snow a few days ago. They threw snowballs at a neighbours window and my son's friend broke a window pane.
Cost £125 for repair.

The friend's mother paid for it, and knocked on my door today and asked for half the money. This was the first I heard about this incident as my son didn't tell me.

I spoke to her son earlier and he said it was him that broke the window.

There is ring doorbell evidence of the boys walking past and the sound of smashing glass.

Should I pay?

If I had plenty of money, I'd rather pay and keep the peace. However, I'm going through a very though time financially and don't even have enough for Christmas. Nothing bought yet and an unexpected £60 is not what I need now.

I think you should not pay. I can’t believe someone said it was cumulative damage, how utterly ludicrous

I would however be honest with her and say normally you’d be happy to help her out but you’re struggling at the moment and your son didn’t actually break the window, so you’re sorry you can’t help financially right now.

I suspect she’d also struggling and that’s why she’s asked

I would pay half. The broken window came about through the boys play. Her son threw the snowball. Presumably your son stood in front of window.

I would pay. Just manners really.

She said they both threw snowballs at the window.

They threw snowballs at a neighbours window and my son's friend broke a window pane.

Why ask for honest options then argue when you don’t like them?
of course you should pay, your son was involved in a snowball game that broke somebody’s window. I’d pay the friends mum then have my son round and the owner of the house with flowers and an apology.

Just here to point out that half of £125 is £62.50, not £60.

The people on here who believe it is not anti social to lob snowballs at people's windows are the reason there are so many entitled brats roaming the streets. It only takes one snowball to go through the wrong person's window and they'll learn the hard way. Parent them before this happens ffs.

No, I wouldn’t pay if it wasn’t my child that did the damage. They were both throwing snowballs yes, but it was her son’s carelessness that broke the window. Nothing to do with your child.

Sorry, your son is just making excuses!

Neither should have been throwing snowballs at any houses. The pair of them were misbehaving, the damage is jointly caused, both pay.

If they were both throwing snowballs you both pay - it was only chance it wasn't your ds who broke it. He gets less gifts as punishment

I agree
They were playing together it could just have easily have been your son

It's Christmas, the season of goodwill it's not worth having a fall-out about

Ffs “little thug” “behaving irresponsibly” it was 2 kids having a snowball fight. Get a grip - accidents happen. It’s rare that it snows and nice that kids actually still find joy in snow in this day and age. Is this another thing we’re now going to police and shield kids from? Snow?

and no op. You shouldn’t pay for someone else’s accident.

some people on here must live very sad miserable and sheltered lives.

They weren't having a snowball fight, they were throwing snowballs at windows.

Throwing things at someone's house absolutely is yobbish behaviour. 100% unacceptable and anti social.

And no, when I was a child I did not always think through consequences of my behaviour. Normally things like jumping into hay bales from a tree, swinging over water on a tyre swing, playing on the tip and round the slurry pond.
The odd knock and run was the most I inconvenienced the neighbours. Mostly I just risked life and limb with stupid games.

So while I did not always think of consequences in all situations, I did understand that some things were unacceptable and I did have parents who I knew would give me consequences for that unacceptable behaviour and I avoided those things like the plague!

They're kids.
They've done something that is completely wrong and beyond childhood pranks.
It's now up to the parents to deal with that appropriately. You don't achieve that by shrugging it off as meh just kids no big deal.

If you have to change what happened from the truth - they were throwing snowballs at someone's house to a lie "snowball fight" then your point is irrelevant.

It they weren't having a snowball fight based on the OP's update.

They were deliberately throwing snowballs at other people's homes, but at each other. So throwing them against the walls, doors or windows of a row of cottages.

I think it's a good lesson for both boys to learn, and would pay up half as it was a joint decision to do it. I'd then make my child pay for his own half by doing additional chores, forgo pocket money or whatever. I wouldn't link it to Christmas gifts but I would want to make him learn his lesson that inappropriate actions may have negative consequences.

As they were out in their own doing it I'm assuming he's of an age he can learn from it. Might make him think twice next time.

No, I wasn't making excuses, just stating facts about the window type. I wasn't in any way implying that the window should have been stronger or anything of that sort.

With regards to punishment, I will deal with it. I came on here for advice on the situation itself, as I would not ask her for money if the situation was reversed. It's a new thing for me.

Then typically, mudslingers (as opposed to snowball slingers) turn up to lecture and judge me.

I wouldn't pay half but I'd give them some money ( a few months of your son's pocket money perhaps?) And also tell him to not be so stupid in future.

You should pay half. The kids were at your house on your watch, so to speak. Both children are culpable.

But according to the op, they were throwing snowballs at the houses. That's not having a snowball fight, that's anti social behaviour.

And anti social behaviour has consequences- in this case payment for a broken window. It wasn't an accident - they were throwing snowballs at the houses.

Last night on our local social network page someone was talking about how the snowballs being thrown at their house had woken up their young child, who was then absolutely terrified for the rest of the night. There is never justification for throwing things at peoples houses and that kind of behaviour needs stamped out.

Was the snowball aimed at window? If so, why did your son not actively tell the other boy not to throw at the window ? He was a bystander who did nothing and clearly thought it was ok to throw at window and is therefore equally as culpable

if it was an accident that they were throwing at each other and other boy missed and hit the window- again you pay half …they were both playing togther and should have had enough sense to do it away from where they could do damage.

either way …it takes two to tango …or play snowballs….you son had the option to not get involved.

I think if they were both just out playing together and this other kid decided to randomly chuck a snowball at a window then you shouldn't pay. Just because they were together doesn't obligate you imo.

But that's not what happened here. Both kids were behaving like little shits and deliberately throwing snowballs at houses. Was it the crime of the century? Of course not. But the fact they were together almost certainly meant they were encouraging each other just by virtue of pack mentality. Imo I think that does obligate you to pay. Cough up now and get your DS to pay you back through pocket money/chores/couple of less presents at Christmas.

If both boys were purposely aiming snowballs at random windows then I think you should pay half. It's anti social behaviour to which should have consequences, irrelevant of whose snowball caused the broken window.

Now if one was throwing snowballs and the other was not then that would be different, they both chose to be anti social together and unfortunately the outcome wasn't great!

They were both throwing snowballs at windows so joint responsibility so you should pay half. Given you've highlighted you came for financial advice not parental- tbh as you need to ask about paying i think you do need both!

Who was supervising the boys?