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Original poster

Who pays for the window broken by snowball?

183 replies

Toloveandtowork · 16/12/2022 21:30

Wondering if anyone can offer advice.

My son, 11, and his friend, also 11, were out playing in the snow a few days ago. They threw snowballs at a neighbours window and my son's friend broke a window pane.
Cost £125 for repair.

The friend's mother paid for it, and knocked on my door today and asked for half the money. This was the first I heard about this incident as my son didn't tell me.

I spoke to her son earlier and he said it was him that broke the window.

There is ring doorbell evidence of the boys walking past and the sound of smashing glass.

Should I pay?

If I had plenty of money, I'd rather pay and keep the peace. However, I'm going through a very though time financially and don't even have enough for Christmas. Nothing bought yet and an unexpected £60 is not what I need now.

OP posts:
ThatWasThat · 17/12/2022 00:37

I can see it wouldn’t be much fun to hear out of the blue that your child has been involved in bad behaviour and there are financial implications. But I think that it is good lesson for a child that their behaviour is wrong (they shouldn’t be snowballing windows whether they broke them or not) and to face the consequences. We shouldn’t be bringing up kids to think that they can behave badly but only pay the consequences if they get caught

WineAndDontDine · 17/12/2022 00:43

If you were a passenger in a car and they crashed into a wall, would you be half liable for that damage? After all, it could have just as easily been you.... not. Definitely wouldn't pay.

Shol · 17/12/2022 00:47

Gensola · 16/12/2022 21:58

Lol what. This is not how the law works. If one person breaks a window and his friend is beside him and does not then they are not liable for criminal damage. Do not pay.

Clearly you have never heard of the criminal law on joint enterprise 👀 If one person commits an offence and his friend is beside him encouraging or helping him then absolutely the police could prosecute both of them for the offence, equally.

OP I haven’t read all the detail but in my view

  • If they were both basically up to no good and it just happened to be the friend who broke the window but either could have caused damage, then pay half.
  • If the friend broke the window but your son was encouraging him to throw stuff at it, pay half.
  • If both were harmlessly playing with soft snowballs then friend suddenly took it too far and started throwing lumps of ice around, hard, and your son did not join in or encourage that, then don’t pay just say you spoke to your son and he says 100% it wasn’t him that was throwing hard balls of ice, only your son.

Is probably best actually for your son to be punished for this now at 11 than get away with it and carry on with criminal damage. If you can, get him some new friends…

What would I do? I wouldn’t have a row with the lunatic mum of a little vandal, I’d pay 😬 but stop the boys hanging out together outside school.

LadyOfTheFliessssss · 17/12/2022 00:52

This is tort. Legally, you've accepted the risk of having breakable windows, so it isn't anyone's fault if they get broken.

They are yours and you need them so ultimately, you will have to pay and go on the other person's good grace to share the cost. You certainly can't force anything out of them so it depends on the individual.

LadyOfTheFliessssss · 17/12/2022 00:53

Not your fault, but it is your responsibility.

dolor · 17/12/2022 00:55

You should pay half.

LadyOfTheFliessssss · 17/12/2022 00:56

Oh, thought it was your window! Sorry, I'm on strong painkillers!

Well, you're not under any obligation to pay for the window. Windows get broken.

ipreferthecat · 17/12/2022 00:57

I feel quite worried that some of the people on the thread don't understand the concept of joint enterprise
It's something you should teach your children

Plenty of people in prison because of that rule particular law

Ivyonafence · 17/12/2022 01:00

You should pay it and then your son should pay you back over time.

It's anti social to walk along throwing things at other peoples property.

pinkpotatoez · 17/12/2022 01:02

I'm sorry but those saying she should pay are ridiculous. It's how life works thats why you don't mess about, friend got unlucky and has to pay, your son learnt a lesson from this before causing damage - you don't pay for anything as your own responsible for your sons damage. I think she's cheeky to be coming round frankly. It's one of those things you take on the chin

FiveShelties · 17/12/2022 01:09

Toloveandtowork · 16/12/2022 22:42

They were both throwing snowballs as they walked past a row of terraced cottages. It was random throwing, not even one for every cottage.

Lucky neighbours 🤣

Northernsouloldies · 17/12/2022 01:18

The op take on things, it was a single pane window blah blah excuses. The homeowners deserve having their windows intact. Have u any idea how upsetting this can be, my elderly mum had this, kids throwing stones smashed her living room window and she was in bits. Your brat fucked up deal with it.

piedbeauty · 17/12/2022 01:55

Lovageandrose · 16/12/2022 23:02

If you don’t have the money you don’t have the money. If she expected you to pay half
she should have told you first.

Perhaps the person whose window was broken by these little gits didn't have the money to replace it either. But they have no choice...

piedbeauty · 17/12/2022 02:00

LadyOfTheFliessssss · 17/12/2022 00:56

Oh, thought it was your window! Sorry, I'm on strong painkillers!

Well, you're not under any obligation to pay for the window. Windows get broken.

🙄🤨🤔 They do tend to get broken if people throw snowballs at them, yes...

SplunkPostGres · 17/12/2022 02:10

For me this is a no brainer to pay. It needs to be paid as they were both behaving anti socially. Your son needs a lesson on why this behaviour is unacceptable and some hardship at Christmas time (due to his behaviour) will be a fitting punishment.

Soakitup37 · 17/12/2022 02:29

Everyone up in arms about being anti social! Christ, accidents happen! Doesn’t mean it was malicious. Even if they were throwing them without due care, it doesn’t mean to say that they intended to bust someone’s window.

in my minds eye hearing of my ds and his friend walking down the road and friend throwing a snowball that breaks a window I’d be thinking shit how unlucky for those involved, i wouldn’t be thinking my son had anything to do with it other than being there to witness it.

the only exception would be if they had been egging each other on to aim at the houses with the intent of breaking a window and if my son threw the hit that broke it I’d cough up and like op sats, it wouldn’t occur to me to expect any money from the friends parent for my sons wrong doing.

EarringsandLipstick · 17/12/2022 02:36

I'm still trying to understand the situation, having read your posts OP?

Were the boys just throwing snowballs, and one, thrown by the friend, happened to hit & break a window?

Or, as indicated by one of your posts, were they both throwing snowballs at houses, and one hit the window?

They were both throwing snowballs as they walked past a row of terraced cottages. It was random throwing, not even one for every cottage.

If it is the second scenario, you absolutely need to pay. And be very cross with your DS for his behaviour.

If it was the first, then, no. It was an accident, caused by the friend, not your DS

Coyoacan · 17/12/2022 03:06

It wasn't anti-social behaviour to break a window by accident but it has to be paid for and you have to teach your son that responsible adults accept responsability for their actions and the actions of their dependents.

I am a bit surprised at the price of glass. Many years ago I did suffer from anti-social little gits deliberately breaking my windows with their anti-social parents refusing to accept responsability, so I spent a lot of time and money replacing windows.

AlecTrevelyan006 · 17/12/2022 07:26

That was one hell of a snowball

Morechocmorechoc · 17/12/2022 07:28

Her son broke a window. She pays. Simple.

jayhoo · 17/12/2022 07:35

My son and his mate were throwing pebbles at each other, one of my son's went wide, hit the rear window of mate's parents car and shattered it. I paid. Wouldn't dream of asking mate's parents to contribute. Daft kids playing daft games without considering consequences. It's my job to teach my child it's not acceptable behaviour.

Only point I'd check is were they both throwing snowballs at the window and it just happened that the other boys smashed it? If so then joint enterprise and you should share the cost

Buildingthefuture · 17/12/2022 07:38

“Not even one for every cottage”???? They shouldn’t be throwing snowballs, or anything, at anyone’s house, ever. Yes, you should pay and your son should pay you back via chores or pocket money. Actions have consequences and he’s old enough to know that.

CeeceeBloomingdale · 17/12/2022 07:38

They were both doing it so I'd pay. Or rather I'd expect DS to pay half of my share from his own money so he learns a lesson from this.

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 17/12/2022 07:38

Teach your kid not to throw snowballs at peoples windows.

userxx · 17/12/2022 07:41

Pay it, they were both at fault.

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