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Original poster

Who pays for the window broken by snowball?

183 replies

Toloveandtowork · 16/12/2022 21:30

Wondering if anyone can offer advice.

My son, 11, and his friend, also 11, were out playing in the snow a few days ago. They threw snowballs at a neighbours window and my son's friend broke a window pane.
Cost £125 for repair.

The friend's mother paid for it, and knocked on my door today and asked for half the money. This was the first I heard about this incident as my son didn't tell me.

I spoke to her son earlier and he said it was him that broke the window.

There is ring doorbell evidence of the boys walking past and the sound of smashing glass.

Should I pay?

If I had plenty of money, I'd rather pay and keep the peace. However, I'm going through a very though time financially and don't even have enough for Christmas. Nothing bought yet and an unexpected £60 is not what I need now.

OP posts:
Dotcheck · 16/12/2022 22:06

Of course you should pay

Snoopey · 16/12/2022 22:07

I wouldn't pay - your son didn't break the window. And if it was my child that broke the window - I wouldn't be asking the other parent for half the payment.

Prettypennies · 16/12/2022 22:09

Nope if he didn’t break the window then not his fault!

Ragwort · 16/12/2022 22:11

In your opening post you say 'they threw snowballs at a neighbour's window' ... so your DS was throwing snowballs at a window and it was just sheer luck that his didn't break the window. I would be appalled if my DS behaved like that. Yes, you should contribute half and get your DS to pay back from pocket money or less Christmas presents. Lesson learned.

validnumber · 16/12/2022 22:13

So your son says it wasn't him but the other boy is saying it wasn't him either?

validnumber · 16/12/2022 22:13

I mean are both boys denying it?

parietal · 16/12/2022 22:14

would you be able to pay back, say at £10 per month over 6 months? If so, your 11 year old can do some work (helping around the house) or get less pocket money to cover it.

Augend23 · 16/12/2022 22:15

But you can make snow balls that are actually ice balls (and break windows) or snow balls that are barely packed together and disintegrate on impact. If my son was doing the latter and his friend the former there would be no way I was paying up, especially when I couldn't afford it.

rosiebl · 16/12/2022 22:15

I'm so confused why everyone is saying pay.
If your DS was in a shop and his friend stole something, would they both be arrested? No. You shouldn't pay. Your DS didn't throw and break the window, so he shouldn't suffer the consequences. It's not guilty by association.

Original poster
Toloveandtowork · 16/12/2022 22:17

OK, I'm 100 percent sure that my son didn't break the window. The other boy told me it was him when I spoke to him a few hours ago.

Also, they weren't both hammering the window with snowballs. It was one hit (single pane thin glass). They were walking past when he threw the 'fatal' snowball.

Sorry if I wasn't clear.

OP posts:
multivac · 16/12/2022 22:17

My son said the friend made the snowballs too compact and threw too hard.

Of course he said that. Fact is, they were both behaving irresponsibly, and they should share the consequences. Unless you want to teach your kid that as long as he's ok, nothing else matters.

formulatingAresponse · 16/12/2022 22:20

If you can afford it yes

The other DM maybe can't afford it so is asking for half or at least feels the boys were together

Just pay it

BurbageBrook · 16/12/2022 22:21

No you shouldn’t pay! It wasn’t your son who threw a snowball at the window.

caringcarer · 16/12/2022 22:21

I'd pay half and your son should lose one of his Xmas gifts. He might think next time before a ting.

Piffle11 · 16/12/2022 22:23

Original post

They threw snowballs at a neighbours window

Update

they weren't both hammering the window with snowballs. It was one hit (single pane thin glass). They were walking past when he threw the 'fatal' snowball

Snowballs/one fatal snowball… Doesn't matter: they were both complicit.

multivac · 16/12/2022 22:23

Augend23 · 16/12/2022 22:15

But you can make snow balls that are actually ice balls (and break windows) or snow balls that are barely packed together and disintegrate on impact. If my son was doing the latter and his friend the former there would be no way I was paying up, especially when I couldn't afford it.

Right. So OP's son was making fluffy clouds and launching them gently into the ether for artistic value; whist his criminal chum was lobbing compacted ice bombs directly at windows....

cariadlet · 16/12/2022 22:24

There might not be a legal obligation to pay but there's still a moral obligation.

They were both throwing snowballs at the neighbours' windows. Maybe the friend made tighter ones which caused more damage; maybe your son said that to get out of trouble - impossible to know without being there and I don't think it's relevant anyway.

Children should respect other people's property and neither should have thrown snowballs at someone else's windows, no matter how soft and harmless those snowballs were.

Unlikely that either boy would have behaved this way if he was on his own. They encouraged each other and are jointly responsible.

Pay half but get your son to pay you back (however you choose to do that eg money, chores etc)

VaccineSticker · 16/12/2022 22:24

I would pay the money. Lesson learnt.

Bigjigwig · 16/12/2022 22:32

If your son genuinely didn’t throw anything at the window, then no I wouldn’t pay. For those saying pay, If i was playing football with a friend on a field, and that friend purposely kicked the ball at a window does that mean I would have to pay half the damage?? Crazy logic!!

Tontostitis · 16/12/2022 22:33

Of course you pay half

00100001 · 16/12/2022 22:35

Bigjigwig · 16/12/2022 22:32

If your son genuinely didn’t throw anything at the window, then no I wouldn’t pay. For those saying pay, If i was playing football with a friend on a field, and that friend purposely kicked the ball at a window does that mean I would have to pay half the damage?? Crazy logic!!

Inws under the impression that the lads were both throwing balls, and it's was the other lads ball that broke it.

Emmamoo89 · 16/12/2022 22:36

Don't pay!

AndEverWhoKnew · 16/12/2022 22:41

If it was reversed, you might not have asked the other mum but she might have offered.
You need to pay. Your DS gets less for Christmas. He'll learn to be more careful in future whether that's throwing snowballs or (in version 2 you provided) in choosing friends who compact snow balls.

Original poster
Toloveandtowork · 16/12/2022 22:42

They were both throwing snowballs as they walked past a row of terraced cottages. It was random throwing, not even one for every cottage.

OP posts:
ThanksAntsThants · 16/12/2022 22:43

Honestly, if they were both wanging snowballs at the window, then I’d pay half, no matter who smashed it, because it could have been either of them, it was just luck it was the other kid and not him. Then I’d tell my DS that was the money I was going to use to buy his Christmas presents. Natural consequences innit.