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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Who pays for the window broken by snowball?

183 replies

Toloveandtowork · 16/12/2022 21:30

Wondering if anyone can offer advice.

My son, 11, and his friend, also 11, were out playing in the snow a few days ago. They threw snowballs at a neighbours window and my son's friend broke a window pane.
Cost £125 for repair.

The friend's mother paid for it, and knocked on my door today and asked for half the money. This was the first I heard about this incident as my son didn't tell me.

I spoke to her son earlier and he said it was him that broke the window.

There is ring doorbell evidence of the boys walking past and the sound of smashing glass.

Should I pay?

If I had plenty of money, I'd rather pay and keep the peace. However, I'm going through a very though time financially and don't even have enough for Christmas. Nothing bought yet and an unexpected £60 is not what I need now.

OP posts:
PraiseTheSunshine · 16/12/2022 22:44

I think it depends if they were both throwing snowballs or not. If they were both throwing snowballs then I'd pay but if just his friend threw the snowballs then I probably wouldn't.

Original poster
Toloveandtowork · 16/12/2022 22:46

Yea, I suppose I'd better chough up. Thanks for the advice.

OP posts:
coodawoodashooda · 16/12/2022 22:52

Toloveandtowork · 16/12/2022 22:17

OK, I'm 100 percent sure that my son didn't break the window. The other boy told me it was him when I spoke to him a few hours ago.

Also, they weren't both hammering the window with snowballs. It was one hit (single pane thin glass). They were walking past when he threw the 'fatal' snowball.

Sorry if I wasn't clear.

Don't pay. Because of this.

FUEWC · 16/12/2022 22:53

Glad you’ve decided to pay 👌

coodawoodashooda · 16/12/2022 22:55

Toloveandtowork · 16/12/2022 22:46

Yea, I suppose I'd better chough up. Thanks for the advice.

I don't think you should. Your son didn't do it.

FTY765 · 16/12/2022 22:57

If they were both throwing snowballs at houses, then they are equally responsible. It's antisocial behaviour.

Pay half, but make your son pay back some of it somehow- either by loss of treats, deductions from pocket money, chores, whatever.

Honeyroar · 16/12/2022 22:59

multivac · 16/12/2022 22:17

My son said the friend made the snowballs too compact and threw too hard.

Of course he said that. Fact is, they were both behaving irresponsibly, and they should share the consequences. Unless you want to teach your kid that as long as he's ok, nothing else matters.

I agree. He’s clearly throwing snowballs at windows a lot if he comes out with things like that!

Mrsmch123 · 16/12/2022 23:02

I'm going against the grain here and saying you shouldn't pay....your son never broke the window🤷🏻‍♀️

Lovageandrose · 16/12/2022 23:02

If you don’t have the money you don’t have the money. If she expected you to pay half
she should have told you first.

DowntonCrabby · 16/12/2022 23:04

I agree you pay half.

I’d be making my child pay it back though through chores/reduced pocket money etc.

ditherydotty · 16/12/2022 23:08

If course you should NOT pay!

I wouldn't pay if I had proof that my child hadn't thrown the snowball and hit the window.

whynotwhatknot · 16/12/2022 23:08

i thinik they shold grow up throwing them at each other maybe not someone else property

FTY765 · 16/12/2022 23:09

ditherydotty · 16/12/2022 23:08

If course you should NOT pay!

I wouldn't pay if I had proof that my child hadn't thrown the snowball and hit the window.

They both thought it was fun to chuck some balls at peoples houses, though.
If not for the pair of them doing it together, nobody would be paying anything, so I think it's fair.

Pootle40 · 16/12/2022 23:12

I wouldn't pay if it wasn't my son , can't believe the responses suggesting that. Luck of the draw.

zurala · 16/12/2022 23:12

I wouldn't pay. The person who caused the damage pays. I think she's cheeky asking to be honest. I'd reply "sorry but it wasn't my son who broke the window so I'm not paying. It's unfortunate this has happened but we aren't liable for this."

Idontwantafuckingusername · 16/12/2022 23:13

Please tell your son not to throw things at people's homes. It's horribly antisocial and can be terrifying for the people who live in them.

CountZacular · 16/12/2022 23:13

There’s no obligation to pay. However I think your son should absolutely pay, be it from one of his Xmas presents or pocket money. I actually think this is a relatively cheap (though doesn’t seem like it now) lesson to be had here about recklessness. Why he wasn’t the one who broke the window, he equally could have been with their careless attitude. Otherwise I feel you’ve made a case for getting off the hook with technicalities instead of taking appropriate responsibility where due.

FTY765 · 16/12/2022 23:17

rosiebl · 16/12/2022 22:15

I'm so confused why everyone is saying pay.
If your DS was in a shop and his friend stole something, would they both be arrested? No. You shouldn't pay. Your DS didn't throw and break the window, so he shouldn't suffer the consequences. It's not guilty by association.

Quite often both the shoplifter and the people they are with are arrested together. It's often not fair, but thats life.

Janedoe82 · 16/12/2022 23:17

I wouldn’t pay and if it was the other way round and my child broke the window I wouldn’t expect the other childs parent to pay. Just one of those things

Original poster
Toloveandtowork · 16/12/2022 23:21

Well, there's money and there's the morals of how I will deal with my son.
I'm keener to discuss financial liability on this thread.

I'm very short of money. I think if I wasn't, I would have paid without pausing.

I wouldn't have thought of asking her for money if it was my son who did the damage.

I only met her for the first time this morning when she rang my doorbell.

OP posts:
multivac · 16/12/2022 23:24

Toloveandtowork · 16/12/2022 23:21

Well, there's money and there's the morals of how I will deal with my son.
I'm keener to discuss financial liability on this thread.

I'm very short of money. I think if I wasn't, I would have paid without pausing.

I wouldn't have thought of asking her for money if it was my son who did the damage.

I only met her for the first time this morning when she rang my doorbell.

Easy for you to say, given that your kid lucked out on this occasion.

multivac · 16/12/2022 23:27

Toloveandtowork · 16/12/2022 23:21

Well, there's money and there's the morals of how I will deal with my son.
I'm keener to discuss financial liability on this thread.

I'm very short of money. I think if I wasn't, I would have paid without pausing.

I wouldn't have thought of asking her for money if it was my son who did the damage.

I only met her for the first time this morning when she rang my doorbell.

If you say you would pay were you wealthier, then you are acknowledging at least moral responsibility. Is the other parent skint, too? Do you know or care?

Chimna · 16/12/2022 23:34

£60 is getting off pretty lightly. You don't throw snowballs at people's windows, my 5yo knows that. The occupants must have been terrified. Even when it doesn't smash they make a loud thud. In your shoes I'd be furious and too busy selling my sons Christmas presents to pay my half than trying to get out if it. He was acting anti socially whether it smashed or not.

multivac · 16/12/2022 23:41

NB - not sure if you are aware, OP, but we are ALL a bit strapped for cash right now. Including the poor fuckers whose window has just been smashed at the coldest time of year by a couple of silly, if non malicious, kids. Seriously. Be a good human.

ConfessionsOfAMumDramaQueen · 17/12/2022 00:23

I'd be giving my son an absolute bollocking for throwing stuff at someone elses house for starters! Doesn't matter if its snow balls, rocks, eggs, a football. He's 11 and should know better.

The £60 comes out of your sons money. Be that pocket money or returning £60 worth of Christmas presents. You send him to the house to apologise and tell the home owner why he thought it was so funny to throw things at their house.

It was pot luck which one broke the window, what they did was criminal damage! You're lucky paying for the window is all they wanted rather than calling the police.