Feeling rocked by something that happened this weekend.

[DaisyDooxox]

I have been with my partner for 8 months. Things have been going well and there is so much chemistry. We have occasional arguments, and we are very different people, so took us some time to settle into a happy medium.

At the weekend we went to his work Christmas party. I didn’t know anyone and I suffer from anxiety so I got very drunk in order to cope better.

I made a friend (his workmates wife), at one point in the night we went into the toilet together. She had drugs and I stupidly took them. I’ve never taken anything in my life and feel disgusted with myself.

As soon as I came back to the dance floor, he then asked me if I had taken drugs. He clearly knew that they were into that. Part of me wishes he told me this before so that I could have avoided the situation better. He knows that I have a very important career and that this would have made me feel full of regret, but didn’t say anything. I know though that this is my responsibility. He then went to take some.

Towards the end of the night, it was his mates that were looking after me and carrying me up to the hotel room. His mates holding my hair as I was being sick. He just sat there and watched.

I understand that this is ultimately my problem and I feel deep with regret today. Part of me has the ick over him not looking after me better. And this is making me question a lot. But we woke up this morning, he made me a tea as usual and de iced my car like nothing has happened. But this seems like a really big, disgusting thing to me.

He has asked me to move in with him in the Spring when his flat mate moves out. I want to be sure that he is asking me to move in for genuine reasons, not just a means to pay the bills in the cost of living crisis.

Any perspectives would be really helpful. Thanks.

OP one thing to consider is how easily he decided to take drugs once he knew you had.

It might not be common for you but I'd suggest it is for him.

Sorry OP, if it was my partner who got drunk and high and made a total fool of themselves at my workplace, party, tarnishing my reputation in the process, I would drop them like a hot potato.

How utterly immature, irresponsible and downright shameful. And instead of taking accountability, you blame him for not taking better care of your drunken ass? How hypocritical...

I think you should consider yourself lucky that you still have a boyfriend after all of this.

You're both stupid for taking drugs but the fact he casually did is a red flag for me.
I would not date a drug user.

My opinion on purely this thread is that you're making a big deal out of nothing. However based on your other threads I'm not sure your relationship is entirely healthy and I don't think you should rush into living together when you've just come out of a LTR.

I don’t know many people who want to take care of someone that thought drinking to cope with anxiety was ok or that taking drugs was in any way acceptable. You got yourself into the situation, you’re lucky you didn’t kill yourself taking them. If I were you I’d take a hard look at why I thought drugs were ok to take and get some help from the GP in accessing counselling.

I'm struck by how passive you are about everything. The whole incident seems to have happend to you rather than you having an agency at all. You are clearly upset by your own behaviour and instead of discussing your regret with your partner you are projecting some of the blame onto him. He may be carrying on as normal because he does not want to embarrass you. I think you need to discuss it with him and apologise.

I wouldn't move in with him yet. You'll be able to determine how caring he is if you are unwell and neither of you are under the influence of drink and drugs.

By the time things got out of hand, sounds like you were both too wasted to cope with the situation properly.
This. But yes, you both chose to take drugs. It's not just an unfortunate mishap, and not everyone with anxiety deals with it by getting pissed and high, so anxiety is not an excuse. If anxiety is seriously a problem for you, deal with it seriously.

This

Oh the irony OP, you need to grow up 🙄

Stupid and irresponsible behaviour on your part.

Red flags all over the place in the relationship.

I am more concerned about you getting so drunk and taking drugs that you were vomiting, and then he de-iced your car the next morning. I hope you didn’t drive yourself to your very important career, as you would be unfit to drive through drunk and drugs, which is just idiotic and I have no sympathy if you did.

By the sounds of your behavior I'd have said you were a teenager. If you've just come out of an eight year relationship you must be at least mid 20s. You really need to grow up, take responsibility if your actions and work on your social anxiety. You were a disgrace at the party and then blame your partner for your actions.

I think they all sound like idiots to be honest. I wouldn't feel particularly ashamed puking up in front of a hotel room full of drugged up losers.

This. He can do a lot better.

You are not the first and certainly will not be the last to have used drink as a crutch.

When drunk we don't always make the best of choices - You're likely on a come down and feeling hungover which is going to be making you feel crap.

Assess your relationship when you're in a better frame of mind.

Also, no one else is likely going to be agonizing over your behavior as much as you are. Sounds like they were all drunk and drugged up too.

There is a term called 'beer fear' - the feelings of anxiety and regret you feel are very common.

I know longer drink anymore but the day after a heavy night I would feel so panicky and full of self loathing, it was truly terrifying. It is one of the reasons I don't drink anymore.

You will feel better tomorrow x

Hmm. He took drugs too. His work colleagues took drugs too. I'm not sure he's the Prince everyone is making him out to be.

So you showed up to his work in front of his collegues and boss as a pissed up druggy and you think HE is out of line.

You can throw in the word 'party' all you want but this is his job and you where wildly out of line.

I grew up in an area where drugs where common, I never took any just because I was offered even though Im against that, only people who take drugs WANT too take drugs (bar those who get spiked)... I mean jesus even little kids no to say 'no'.

You shouldn't be arguing,especially in a new relationship.

As for blaming being drunk on taking drugs..nope your choice.

Personally I'd walk away from this relationship, it doesn't sound healthy.

Honestly irritated by your OP. You got drunk to "cope", you seem to judge him for not wanting to look after his completely out of control - AT HIS WORKS PARTY! - girlfriend.

If I were him I would dump you immediately.

Bloody hell. This has all come about due to the shit decisions you made.

Stop drinking and consider some counselling to explore your behaviour around drink and drugs. If your boyfriend is a cokehead too this probably isnt a healthy relationship anyway but its not his fault you decided to get pissed and abuse drugs.

8 months and this is about your 10th thread you have started about this man and iffy / disappointing / upsetting shit.

It’s going no where OP. No where

Sound like a nightmare.

To be fair it does sound like a cracking party - this is probably a good reminder of the old adage “know your limit” - and that’s a personal responsibility, no one elses.

Where does it say he took drugs also? I think I have missed it.

Oh found it.

I would have dropped you like a hot potato for such embarrassing behaviour at a work party. Just horrid! OP you need to take responsibility for your own actions. You ruined the party of his mates, they had to look after you instead of enjoying the party.

OP. You need to take responsibility for your actions. Blaming others is an immature and frankly ridiculous position to hold. You fucked up and if I was advising your boyfriend, it would be to run away fast.