Can't fucking believe this.

[CannotBelieveThisIsHappening]

My daughter is 16. She's a slim, curvy, pretty girl. Not that it matters.

She has started occasionally giving my partner a quick hug now and again. He has never initiated before but does reciprocate.

Today, she was wearing her usual baggy tracky bottoms (that are too big for her so sit on her hips rather than her waist 🙄), bra and a cropped vest top She had her brand new supersoft fleecy dressing gown on over the top.

My partner and I went out this afternoon for a bit and she came over to give us both a hug. I called her ted and gave her a big squeeze referencing the fact she's like a teddy bear in it.

She went to hug him and he said "Come on then. You look curvy... cuddly" he definitely said curvy which was clearly in error and corrected it immediately to cuddly.

She did look cuddly. Like a teddy bear.

Cuddly is fine. Curvy is not.

I can't fucking believe it.

I agree totally. But you are not going to get anywhere here. They will keep attacking you. Young girls should be able to wear whatever they want all times and do whatever they want even though their brains are not fully developed. No boundaries whatsoever.

Most men will be wary of dating a woman with a teenage daughter.

I think in this day and age it's fair to say it's just a no-go.

I never said a grown man can’t be attracted to a 16 year old.

What I’m saying is your comment highlighted in bold below is creepy and pervy.

”So yes it’s entirely possible that in the years he’s known her he’s never been attracted to her as she was a child but now she’s getting curvier and becoming a woman then that could change.”

To describe a 16 year old as “getting curvier and becoming a woman” is just so creepy. I’d be utterly mortified if someone referred to my 16 year old like that who wants to wear a dressing gown in their own home.

Have you done a Sarah's Law query on this man before you allow him access to your children?

If we treated men like dogs we'd train them by taking them near teenager girls in barely any clothes and giving them a high-value reward when they ignored it. Is that what you meant?

What I mean is don't get one if you haven't got an environment for them to live in.

A 16 year old girl should be able to wear a dressing gown in her own home without being berated by grown adults and deemed “inappropriate”. Along with being berated for having “no boundaries” because a grown adult male hasn’t got the balls or the emotional intelligence to say “we shouldn’t be hugging”.

Your views are so warped.

But go ahead and encourage other warped misogynistic posters.

What is an environment men that men can't live in?
Honestly. This is a ridiculous way to ho about the "men are dogs" analogy. Plenty of people get dogs when they have cats for example. Then train the dog to behave round the cat. Or rehome the dog if that's completely impossible.

What they don't do is never, ever get any dog in case it has a problem with cats.
Or get the dog, then ignore it behaving badly with the cat as "that's just how dogs are"

Very strange analogy.

We give men far more leeway for vad behaviour than we give dogs.

What I’m saying is your comment highlighted in bold below is creepy and pervy.

”So yes it’s entirely possible that in the years he’s known her he’s never been attracted to her as she was a child but now she’s getting curvier and becoming a woman then that could change.”

How the fuck is saying that he may fancy her now she’s getting older and curvier, pervy and creepy?

I think you’d have a shock if you took your head out of your ass for a minute and lived in the real world.

This happens all of the time.

Partners either becoming attracted to their step daughters once they are developed and become attractive.

Or they are groomed from a younger age and then are taken advantage of as soon as they’re of a legal age or they start developing.

I know women who’ve been abused by their own dads as soon as they got their curves.

My teenage daughter is extremely curvy.
It doesn’t make me a perv to say that and it doesn’t make me a perv to know that it makes her a bigger target to predatory men.

You are sick.

Exactly.

Various dog breeds are banned and only allowed to be kept with special training.

Until we identify which men are these breeds then there should be a blanket ban.

You’re the sick one here it seems.

Referring to a 16 year old as “getting curvier and becoming a woman” IS creepy and inappropriate. Wether you like it or not.

You’re getting hysterical over this. It’s so so weird.

You’re justifying a grown adult man being inappropriate towards a teenage girl because she’s “becoming a woman”. Ew. Ew. Ew. Gross.

@CarefreeMe

I can only imagine they lead such miserable lives that they have to get their kicks from an anonymous forum.

Whereas telling people to slap themselves in one post and fuck off the thread in another makes you sound like a really happy person!

You are hilarious

Maybe house training men would be a more pragmatic solution. Only breeding from ones with a good temperament and euthanising ones that attack other people.

@CarefreeMe

You sound like such an angry person.

Maybe step away from threads that make you feel the need to be so aggressive.

Also in the spirit of saying something actually useful...
While there may be a little subconscious envy or insecurity from OP, there may also be some mischief, jealousy or something (consciously or not) coming from her daughter.

I'll never forget hearing about a girl who snuck into bed with her mum and mum's bf...on pretext of a bad dream & while bf was pretty well asleep...she was in her late teens! Or 16 minimum. Pure teenage mischief, prob. mixed with a bit of jealousy.*

I heard of that when I myself was only late teens, but never forgot it...I guess 'cause it was so alien to the boundaries I grew up with.

(My 2 bio parents would shoo me out of their room, even as an actual kid! If it was the middle of the night. & So they should have.)

Anyway, not trying to inflame things here but just make room for the various possibilities... It sounds like at best there's been an abject but benign moment; at worst there may be some impulses flowing from daughts and/or step-dad that are causing mischief. This is not shameful on anyone's part, but calls for some sensitivity and a private, adult chat with each.

*Both my suggestion and anecdote refer to jealousy of/about mum's attention - not that of the male involved.

I have no problem with that. It's actually one of the few actual solutions anyone has come up with, apart from a blanket ban on men.

You sound like such an angry person.

Maybe step away from threads that make you feel the need to be so aggressive.

@monsteramunch

I am angry because there are sick trolls on here trying to make a joke out of child abuse!

What does make me laugh though is I can guarantee that these sick fucks wouldn’t say this if they were hiding behind their keyboards.

Please quote where anyone has made a joke out of child abuse.

@AdamRyan

I think most men would be in favour of getting a psych eval and monitoring to assess their suitability for dating. A dating license.

You keep saying wearing a dressing gown but she is actually wearing a bra top and low hanging joggers with an open dressing gown. For me I would gently explain to her to pop on a top when any man comes around. I'm not berating her. I know her brain is not fully developed and she doesn't have much life experience so it would be my job as a mum to guide her gently...but that's just me.

I agree with the modesty thing too. Yes, everyone is entitled to wear what they want, when they want, but maybe teach her what is appropriate dress infront of company.

And to not hug people while she's barely dressed. There isn't much difference between a crop top and a bra imo.

If a man hugged her in his underwear, no top and just a dressing gown, or walked around half dressed in front of her, there would be uproar. It works both ways in a respectful household imo.

I think you should give him a pass on this one. Anyone can have a slip of the tongue, and without other evidence that he's feeling/behaving inappropriately to her, it's too insignificant.