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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Partner watching porn?

92 replies

DaisyDooxox · 09/12/2022 18:43

My partner and I don’t live together yet. We were talking yesterday and he mentioned that he watches porn - I can’t remember how the subject came up!

He was very open and honest about it and I understand that he has his needs when I am not there. But there is a tiny part of me that doesn’t know how to feel about it?!

I am interested to see other people’s opinions. Thanks!

OP posts:
ChrisTrepidation · 09/12/2022 18:46

I'd be put off but I'm anti porn.

Why on earth did he even tell you though?

girlmom21 · 09/12/2022 18:47

Have your previous partners used porn? Has it ever been an issue previously?

Daffodilis · 09/12/2022 18:50

He wants you to watch it with him

TippyToesKnows · 09/12/2022 18:51

Surely it largely depends on the type of porn?

IsThePopeCatholic · 09/12/2022 18:52

Gross. So, porn replaces you.

CuddlyRita · 09/12/2022 18:53

Perfectly normal as far as I'm concerned.

Dalekjastninerels · 09/12/2022 18:55

Be careful that he does not neglect your sex life together and watches porn instead of having sex with you when you are available.

girlmom21 · 09/12/2022 18:56

IsThePopeCatholic · 09/12/2022 18:52

Gross. So, porn replaces you.

I'd hazard a guess that he was a porn user before he had sex with her.

WesleyNeverDies · 09/12/2022 19:03

Deal breaker for me.

UglyNameChange · 09/12/2022 19:04

Well, I’m also ’anti porn’ although I’d say I’m more pro-women and againt objectifying women,
and this would be a deal breaker to me.
Someone who watches it, is just going to have such different view on women and the world that there is no point of us being together.

But what is your worried aboit op?
Is the misogyny, how horrible the industry is?
Or are you worrried he’s masturbating to other women, or do you have previous problems with partner watching it?

DaisyDooxox · 09/12/2022 19:08

It’s more him masturbating to other women. Women that have bodies that I don’t have.

Our sex life is great when we’re together, and he makes it clear that he is very turned on by me and is very complimentary. I do not feel that he replaces me for the porn.

OP posts:
amiold · 09/12/2022 19:14

Does everyone not watch porn?

I wouldn't be offended OP. Modern world and all that

Berlinlover · 09/12/2022 19:17

It wouldn’t bother me at all.

Choconut · 09/12/2022 19:22

I'd rather he was open and honest about it then pretended he didn't.

UglyNameChange · 09/12/2022 19:24

amiold · 09/12/2022 19:14

Does everyone not watch porn?

I wouldn't be offended OP. Modern world and all that

Not everyone watch porn.
Let’s have a little more faith in humanity.

Zerogravity · 09/12/2022 19:25

amiold · 09/12/2022 19:14

Does everyone not watch porn?

I wouldn't be offended OP. Modern world and all that

No they don't. Strangely enough, some people have perfectly satisfying sex lives which don't involve the wholesale degradation of strangers. 🙄

girlmom21 · 09/12/2022 19:27

amiold · 09/12/2022 19:14

Does everyone not watch porn?

I wouldn't be offended OP. Modern world and all that

If everyone watched porn you wouldn't be able to get it free

amiold · 09/12/2022 19:30

@Zerogravity

Hmm... you can have a satisfying sex life with or without the watching of porn. Your norm isn't everyone's and not all porn includes degradation. Seems a bit of a prudish retort from you

amiold · 09/12/2022 19:31

@girlmom21 that's not a bad shout but there must be some money in it

candycane10 · 09/12/2022 19:35

Maybe not everyone watches porn but the vast majority do (whether they admit it or not).

If it's a deal breaker for you that's fair enough but I'd imagine it would be hard to find an amazing man that you're attracted to, compatible with and who feels the same PLUS is against porn.

I'd imagine you'd be ruling out 90% of the male population

UglyNameChange · 09/12/2022 19:35

Oh yeah, second someone doesn’t like porn, let’s call them prudes.
How ’sex positive’ of you!

People can have their own opinion and boundaries, doesn’t make them prudes.
No need for name calling.

candycane10 · 09/12/2022 19:36

Enough of the population watch it for it to be a massive multi billion pound industry. Just because you can watch it for free doesn't mean it's not massively profitable

amiold · 09/12/2022 19:37

candycane10 · 09/12/2022 19:35

Maybe not everyone watches porn but the vast majority do (whether they admit it or not).

If it's a deal breaker for you that's fair enough but I'd imagine it would be hard to find an amazing man that you're attracted to, compatible with and who feels the same PLUS is against porn.

I'd imagine you'd be ruling out 90% of the male population

I am most surprised that people are surprised that men watch porn.

The comments like
"Let's not lose faith in humanity" etc. 🙄 the passive aggressive bores 🥱

Zerogravity · 09/12/2022 19:42

amiold · 09/12/2022 19:30

@Zerogravity

Hmm... you can have a satisfying sex life with or without the watching of porn. Your norm isn't everyone's and not all porn includes degradation. Seems a bit of a prudish retort from you

Well a lot of it does. And in my experience the people who go on about "ethical porn" actually have very little idea of the realities of the porn industry. Not sure what it's got to do with being prudish! Not related as far as I'm concerned but I guess I touched a nerve!

UglyNameChange · 09/12/2022 19:53

amiold · 09/12/2022 19:37

I am most surprised that people are surprised that men watch porn.

The comments like
"Let's not lose faith in humanity" etc. 🙄 the passive aggressive bores 🥱

😆😆😆
Was that too much for your porn fried brain?