Partner watching porn?

[DaisyDooxox]

My partner and I don’t live together yet. We were talking yesterday and he mentioned that he watches porn - I can’t remember how the subject came up!

He was very open and honest about it and I understand that he has his needs when I am not there. But there is a tiny part of me that doesn’t know how to feel about it?!

I am interested to see other people’s opinions. Thanks!

Me to 👏

You need porn hub on your device lol more up to date lol 😆

It’s more him masturbating to other women. Women that have bodies that I don’t have.

He could do this even if he didn't watch porn. You can't control what he thinks about when masturbating. Heck, it's hard to control what we think about ourselves when masturbating. That's the nature of sexual fantasy and it's fairly basic to think people should think only of their partner's body while masturbating. So if this is really the issue, it's your issue to come to terms with and hopefully have the confidence to get past.

If it's other issues you have with porn itself then fair enough. It wouldn't bother me but everyone has their lines in the sand.

OP it’s taken me a long time to reach how I feel now.

I’m anti porn for lots of reasons, so I don’t watch it. I don’t impose that on my partner, however, who is an adult who can make his own choices and ethical decisions. So I don’t ask, because I don’t want to know details.

I’m sure he does watch it occasionally but it’s none of my business. I don’t consider it infidelity, and everyone is entitled to their own private life even within a relationship.

What he does in his own personal time is his business imo. But our opinions don't matter. Only yours.

aren't shaming you for not having sex their way.

People on this very thread are shaming.

And no one was talking about women (girls) in porn, many of them have been trafficked/ revenge porn, underage.. etc.
They deserve so much better.

The question is whether he will give up porn when youre living together, or if he’s going to continue. Not all men use it because they haven’t got a women at hand.
You need to decide if it’s ok to you or not.

Some women still believe this?

Shaming people who don’t like porn, that is.
Funny how you had no problems with that.

My husband doesn’t watch porn, I’m talking from personal experience. Stop being such a prude.

People will say I'm a "cool wife" 🙄but it wouldn't bother me at all.

I'm more shocked that people don't think many men watch porn. If you work in a male environment I'd say they openly admit it.

I don't think anybody 'doesn't think many men watch porn'. Everyone knows that many or most of them do. But not all.

What bothers me is the people who deliberately turn a blind eye to how unethical it is and kid themselves that there is no harm in it when there clearly is. 'Yeah I guess there's probably very little ethical porn, but hey - everyone's watching it. It's normal.' Their titillation is more important than other people's dignity and safety.

I just find it all a bit grim as well as unethical.

These threads always get full of women say ALL men watch porn and anyone who says otherwise are lying/kidding themselves.

My DH definitely did as a teen/early twenties.

But hasn't for the last 10+ years as he's read a lot about the industry and can't get past the exploitation/abuse in the industry.

That being said he does look at photos.
/videos of me/us if one of us is away so the 'need' is still there but he can guarantee the material was made willingly.

I'm not a huge fan of porn as feel it mostly portrays an unhealthy, mysogynistic version of sex. However, it's not necessarily a deal breaker for me because life just isn't black and white like that.

Like many things, porn can become addictive and lead to unhealthy behaviours or expectations in your relationship so that's what you might wish to understand more. How often does he watch it..? What kinds of porn is he into? How does it influence his expectations in the bedroom department?

For example, if someone drinks alcohol - not a problem, but if they're regularly drunk it's probably signs of an addiction, so worth knowing what you're dealing with in my view...

The comments sections on these porn threads are always a good read. So so many incredibly naieve people who think that there partners don't watch porn. If you're below the age where men lose interest in sex (if at all), there's like a 90% chance he's watching porn and a 99% chance he's lying if he says he doesn't.

The comments sections on these porn threads are always a good read. So so many incredibly naieve people who think that there partners don't watch porn. If you're below the age where men lose interest in sex (if at all), there's like a 90% chance he's watching porn and a 99% chance he's lying if he says he doesn't.

The majority of people on this thread have not said their partners definitely do not or have never watched porn though, have they?

It's perfectly pissible to be anti-porn while also recognising that it's highly likely that your partner probably watches or has watched it. So I'm not sure why you'd imply that people making anti-porn comments in the 'comments section' are 'naieve'.

Well, it seems most men watch porn whether they admit it or not. It doesn’t sound like it is interfering with your sex life. That is when you have a problem.

Watching other people having sex is fucking creepy.

Millions of women also read very explicit romance novels.

Millions of women also read very explicit romance novels.

So? Nobody's being trafficked, harmed or coerced in those.

The fact you asked means you are not comfortable with it.

however it can be a nice as a couple to do together ,but only if you feel ok with it.

I understand now why some people think if you are anti-porn you're a prude! 😂Speaking for myself, I have no problem with consensual sex, masturbation or erotic fiction. The problem is the exploitation of women and girls. Nobody needs porn. Generations of men have managed quite successfully without it. To all the cool girls who say it doesn't bother them - what about if your OH said he just really liked watching animal cruelty? Would that still be ok? Because frankly I need to respect my OH for our marriage to work and I would find it really upsetting if he prioritized his orgasm over respecting women and contributing (consciously or not) to their exploitation.

I'm more shocked that people don't think many men watch porn

I don't know if anyone's denied that. - To the person thinking porn is 'women who enjoy being filmed' or something- nope that's not why most porn is made.

@DaisyDooxox I'm Catholic and I will not be dating let alone moving in with a porn-using man (not that you can 100% know a bloke isn't using it, but to the best of my ability it won't happen.)

You’re all over the place.
And again, is the name calling necessary?
Makes me feel like I’m trying to have a converastion with a thirteen year old boy.

It’s more him masturbating to other women. Women that have bodies that I don’t have.

Even if he wasn't watching porn, when having a wank he is unlikely to be fantasising about you and your body. Fantasy has a purpose, one that in healthy people has nothing to do with reality.