DH farting problem ruining relationship

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So basically what it says on the tin. Married 4 years, everythings fine, really cant conplain at all except for the farting issue. And yes he's had all sorts of tests, diet changes, nothing helps 😣 he's massively self conscious of it, smell is putrid to the point of making me feel sick, and so embarrassing when visiting parents or with friends, I cant seem to get the stench out of the house.
Just to be clear he doesnt eat junk food as im not a fan, we eat healthy, weirdly it seems the more nervous he gets about his flatulence the worse it gets. The weekend was the last straw, I had to sleep downstairs as the smell in our room was disgusting.
He's had a colonoscopy, showed nothing, stool samples etc, theyre saying ibs as he's other wise healthy apart from the putrid farting which is ruining everything.

Beans would tend to be the worst of course, as one of the things highest in fibre.

Same, farting and making others sit in it is the height of bad manners and theres very few situations where its unavoidable... if you dont have spincter paralysis you can hold it in like everyone else.

I knew a girl who use to think farts where hillarious and would fart on people (everyone hated it and no one else acted like that, we all lived together in a shared house) yet now shes grown up a bit and relised everyone isnt laughing she claims she 'can't help it', 'its medical' or 'its uncomfortable to hold in'... yeah sure ok (but you could hold it in long enough to pin someone down an fart on them).

My DH can have some putrid smelling guffs too. He's been keeping a food diary and tracking when it's bad (he already had IBS).

For him it's worse when he eats fruit. Since he's cut back on his fruit intake it's really made a massive change. He uses a FODMAP app to check whether something has fructose in it if he's unsure and it does seem to be helping.

Your "really healthy" diet might not be healthy for him, have you really not considered this?

Stop being the vegan police and let him eat what he wants.

I'm really surprised that he has this issue and it hasn't occured to you or the medical professionals that it's due to his diet.
He needs to eat high quality meat and cut out legumes

For all those saying why did he fart at a dinner party, luckily it was silent (this is not normally the case 🙈) and yes he is very self conscious, realistically i cant send him outside everytime he needs to fart as we live in flats and so not really practical! I usually keep out of his home office room (its just a storage room really) and dont mind him letting off in there so much if the door is closed. I need make him phone my sister however and apologise about the dinner party as they were all blaming her kid for the smell and i said it wasn't fair to the kid.

He wasn't a vegan when we met no, but its very important to me, not just for health reasons but ethical reasons, and of course i dont force him to stop eating meat etc but we discussed it in depth and he understood why its so important.

I appreciate all the replies, ive lost countof the number of tests he's had, we've taken certain things out of the diet too with a foodmap but it makes no difference, and if it was the food I'd have the same issue, which makes me think he might be eating meat or junk food behind my back possibly, although cant see any evidence when ive looked through the bin.

He does get quite explosive bowel movements too, which makes me think its ibs. When he's been in the bathroom its so bad smell wise it makes your eyes water, however he does light incense now if he's going for a number 2 and warns me nor to go near bathroom until the smell clears. Hes not inconsiderate at all.

It's the vegan food, not all digestive systems can handle it.

Why doesn't he try a non vegan diet ?

Of course you wouldn't necessarily have the same issue, what a stupid thing to say. He's clearly got digestive problems which could be triggered and made worse by the diet. Also absolutely baffled how you've got through so many medical tests and no professional has discussed the diet. Unless they have and you just haven't accepted that as an option. If he was fine before you met and put him on a vegan diet, there's your answer. So either accept your vegan diet is ruining your relationship and let it go, or let him get himself healthy by eating a balanced diet.

I had bad bowels for a while and what sorted it out was three Mcdonald breakfast Mcmuffins back-to-back-to-back.

It was like being cleansed from within, bowel movements came within about an hour of ingestion and it was such an incredible time, I wrote the date down in my diary.

Worth a try?

which makes me think he might be eating meat or junk food behind my back possibly

Behind your back? What? Is he not free to eat whatever the fuck he wants to eat?

You sound like a controlling nightmare. A vegan diet is important to you, so you can be a vegan and he can eat what he wants. After all of these tests, logic should tell you it's his diet causing the issues.

Could be gluten intolerance, not necessarily full-blown coeliacs disease. My friend has it and I was with her one time when she accidentally ate something with gluten in. It was awful and the smell was something else. She was mortified.

You can buy food intolerance kits online and they'll show up what you're intolerant to. Worth a shot!

I appreciate all the replies, ive lost countof the number of tests he's had, we've taken certain things out of the diet too with a foodmap but it makes no difference, and if it was the food I'd have the same issue, which makes me think he might be eating meat or junk food behind my back possibly, although cant see any evidence when ive looked through the bin

Why on earth do you thinking it can’t be your food because otherwise you would have the same issue? Are you and your partner identical twins ?

And why are you looking through the bin?

You sound slightly bonkers.

I’m sorry but it’s ridiculous why your husband couldn’t have excused himself from the table to the bathroom to pass wind. I suffer so badly with bowel issues, and occasionally my farts are terrible - I would never fart in company. Even if it means I have to sprint to the bathroom.

that aside, I know others have said it but it’s clearly the diet. Myself and a friend both went vegan for a while and developed bowel issues. His went back to normal when he went back to eating meat, mine unfortunately didn’t. But I’m always worse when I eat a lot of veg than when I eat chicken tenders and chips 🤷🏽‍♀️

makes me think he might be eating meat or junk food behind my back possibly, although cant see any evidence when ive looked through the bin.
Bigger issues than farts going on here like.

Has he always had this problem, even before he had to go vegan?

It sounds completely unhinged that you are insisting on him following a particular diet to the extent where you are going through the bin, and makes me wonder if him trying a different non-vegan diet would perhaps solve the problem but he isn’t free and able to try this because of your insistence.

I do also agree with others though that whilst this sounds a horrible situation for him, why could he not leave the table at your sisters?

It could be a combination of the stress of having his food policed, bin inspections and too many beans!

Its nothing to do with me being 'controlling' actually, we discussed why its important ethically and he now agrees with my beliefs wholeheartedly, I didn't force him to stop eating meat. Or brainwash him if thats the suggestion.

Like i say our relationship is really good, no other issues apart from the farting issue and smelly bathroom, Im just finding it impossible to live with recently.

He wasn't a vegan when we met no, but its very important to me, not just for health reasons but ethical reasons, and of course i dont force him to stop eating meat etc but we discussed it in depth and he understood why its so important.

That sounds very much like forcing to me

My husband and son discovered (after a life-time of very healthy eating) that they cannot properly digest oats or beans or lentils or peanuts.

The wind problem disappeared when these foods were dropped. (The rest of us miss the foods ... but like the quiet nights.)

Oh ffs. I hadn't realised that he is eating vegan.

For a month he should eat a normal omnivore diet. No cruciferous or legume type veg

Not too much fruit

See if that helps (it will)

Just because you don't react doesn't mean it's not the diet? I had this issue terribly, and had to go gluten free. It's done wonders for my issues! I would try a good fortnight of gluten free and see if it helps. It's quite common for it to cause the exact problems you describe!

We note no answer on the multiple times you've been asked how his digestion was pre vegan diet. Presumably he is a grown up and can choose to continue the vegan diet and the farts that come with it, but it's disgustingly unfair of you to blame your relationship on his medical problem that could actually be your doing.

OP is never going to accept that a vegan diet could be the root of this.