DH farting problem ruining relationship

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So basically what it says on the tin. Married 4 years, everythings fine, really cant conplain at all except for the farting issue. And yes he's had all sorts of tests, diet changes, nothing helps 😣 he's massively self conscious of it, smell is putrid to the point of making me feel sick, and so embarrassing when visiting parents or with friends, I cant seem to get the stench out of the house.
Just to be clear he doesnt eat junk food as im not a fan, we eat healthy, weirdly it seems the more nervous he gets about his flatulence the worse it gets. The weekend was the last straw, I had to sleep downstairs as the smell in our room was disgusting.
He's had a colonoscopy, showed nothing, stool samples etc, theyre saying ibs as he's other wise healthy apart from the putrid farting which is ruining everything.

He doesn't suffer from pain unless he feels gassy and tries to hold it in, once he farts then he feels better. In the morning he has quite a lot of gas, and usually feels bloated a lot at night, and then we get the bedroom farting 😣 and with this weather its too cold to keep windows open when we sleep, which is why we've been sleeping separately recently.

Im dreading Christmas as we're staying with family and they aren't going to be pleased if he stinks their place out too 😩

Why not just research foods most likely to cause gas and try eliminating them one at a time? I'm vegan too and have to watch my intake of nuts and onions.

It's all you you you! How is your husband feeling!?? Is he in pain?? Does he want to change his diet?? Stop making this about you!!!!!

Vegan diets are terrible for human health. Poor man.

I know this is off topic but I learned severe odors in a room can quickly be eliminated if you light a match for even ten or fifteen seconds so bring a box of matches with you for Christmas

He needs a low FODMAP diet www.plantnutritionwellness.com/why-am-i-farting-so-much-on-a-vegan-diet/

This thread has been going on for 5 days now. In those 5 days has he tried or have you allowed him to try a different diet ? I'm going to have to stop following this because you are really starting to annoy me now if you aren't actually on the wind up. His digestive system can not cope with a vegan diet some people can't. If he carries on with it to please you he is going to end up seriously ill with damage to his intestines !. This will sound alarmist but as a person with IBD I have been close to death after a blockage in my bowel. I'm sorry but people and your husband come first before animals or your principles. Please leave this man for his own good you are a control freak

Try asking him to change his diet.

It's probably all the beans and pulses.

Most 'hasn't RTWT' ever

Let the man eat a bland omnivore diet then. For all your sakes.

You changed his diet, so this is down to you.
Change it back to what it was before he met you.
YOU need to take the responsibility for this, because newsflash it’s not working.

It's been going on 5 days apparently so no I haven't. Did the beans make you fart get covered then? 🤔

Right I'm going to read the whole thread now then coz why can't he take responsibility for his own diet? Sorry if he's got a disability or something that means OP is in charge of his food.

Then explain to family that he has some sort of undiagnosed medical condition and is a bit embarrassed about it but sorry for the smell.

He can't help it. Your family should be polite and welcoming.

No need for personal attacks when you dont know me or know how difficult this has been. Just uncalled for.

I didn't change his diet, for the umpteenth time! He bought into it and knows how important it is to me, and also he feels strongly about animal welfare and exploitation, I'm aware not everyone gets that but please respect our beliefs are not perhaps the same as yours. I dont lecture strangers in my life, or family, when they're eating meat, if thats the assumption? Im not a militant about this.

Sadly my father likes to make people feel uncomfortable humour wise, bad jokes etc, very sarcastic, he's harmless, its just his sense of humour, so can see it being a nightmare with DH already dreading staying there with his gas problem 😣 there's no way father will be able to help himself taking the mick

Sadly my father likes to make people feel uncomfortable humour wise, bad jokes etc, very sarcastic, he's harmless, its just his sense of humour, so can see it being a nightmare with DH already dreading staying there with his gas problem 😣 there's no way father will be able to help himself taking the mick

If my dad was that much of a bully (making people feel uncomfortable isn't 'harmless') then I wouldn't ask my partner to stay in their home knowing he'd be mocked and feel humiliated tbh.

I get that that isn't ideal but if you know there's 'no way' your dad will be able to 'help himself taking the mick' and you also know this is a physical issue your husband cannot control and will happen while you're staying with them, I can't imagine wanting to put him through that.

Also I don't think you've answered this but when people mentioned FODMAP, you say you've already done a 'foodmap' which isn't the same thing. Have a Google to see what FODMAP is - have you tried it yet? It's a great place to start.

I feel so sorry for your poor DH with such a humiliating condition. Please let him know he can opt out of staying with your family and being mocked and uncomfortable. Especially as anxiety can exacerbate IBS.

He bought into it and knows how important it is to me

OK so tell him it isn't worth making himself ill for it and that you will still love him even if he eats meat.
Earlier you suspected he was eating meat, and thats why he thinks its a big deal for you.

You cannot be seriously suggesting that you will make him phone your sister and apologise. So controlling. Especially as it looks as though a vegan diet is the cause.

If he bought into it and wasn't forced then why were you checking to see if he was covertly eating meat?

Sorry if that has been covered, I have slightly lost track of the thread now.

But you say that your husband has made his own mind up about becoming vegan, based on hearing about your views and then sharing them and wanting to do it. Which is of course totally fine and fair enough. His choice.

However you also say above ^ that you couldn't be in a relationship with someone who didn't share your views... so I can't really see how that works. If that's the case then you had no business even going on a first date with someone unless they were vegan already? And he definitely wasn't as you've said... what was the plan there?
and even if this only later became a deal breaker for you, then you need to appreciate the sort of immense pressure that your partner is under to stick with a vegan diet, because otherwise he will lose you straight away? So although he says it's what he wants, you can't really be sure with that level of pressure can you?
If you really can't be with someone who isn't vegan then of course that's your choice and your partner then has to decide what to do. I do think you have to accept the consequences of that though, which is upset bowels and farting!

On the other hand if there is any wiggle room then I think you have to make that crystal clear to your partner and support him 100% in trialing other diets such as re-introducing meat/fish and reducing FODMAPS also. Literally whatever works best for him!
And apologise for even asking him to call your sister about the fart, omg!

There are still 3 weeks til Christmas. If I were your husband I would be using that time to cut out windy food like beans & lentils. Eat a more varied diet, try eating a little fish or lean white meat, that’s still healthy. Cut out carbonated drinks. See if these changes make any difference.

If he is a consistent farter, have you considered starting a Party Ballon Shop`?

Predominantly, the main gases (for there are a number) in a standard fart are lighter than air.

A ballon shop that offered a 'lighter than air device' that, when it comes into contact with a naked flame, explodes with hilarious results has got to be a winner. The pair of you could become millionaires.

Unfortunately the domain FartyParty.com has already been snaffled up, so you may want to put your thinking caps on to come up with another equally witty (or better) nomenclature.

Don't let him eat Christmas pudding.

Also whilst ill on gastro wards, some nurses told me a coke can clear the pipes out now and again.

Honestly I'd try him on bland stuff, rice, potatoes, carrots, brocoli but cooked to very soft, just white meat if you will let him, chicken, salmon, tinned mackrel washed from flavourings could help, go easy with flavorings. No ice cream, but yoghurts may be ok.

Keep him off anything with preservatives, no takeaways for a while, no sugar subtitutes, no red meat at all.

He needs to give his stomach a rest and time to heal, only then can you introduce more foods and get an idea what makes his symptoms worse.
Don't do citrus fruits.
Red fruits are easier, but peel them.
No beans, pulses, lentils, no seeds, no bran, cornflakes are probly the easiest breakfast or ready brek.

Does he do coffee and tea?

You could try looking at Dr Vanessa Mendez's website for guidance. She is a plant based gut health doctor.

www.drvanessamendez.com/

When your husband is staying at peoples houses why doesn’t he go to the bathroom / bedroom / outside to pass wind? The nobody is subjected to the smell and your dad can’t wind him up.

I do really stinky farts when I eat certain foods with my IBS, even in my own home I go to the bathroom to pass wind.