Page 9 | Dating Thread 236 - Swiping, Blocking and Video Calls

Mila14 · 02/12/2022 10:53

Deffy.., he is busy nd probably surprised you are not working? Has he got kids like you? Some people beware of dating people not in employment. Maybe that is another conversation you can have? Just tell him to suggest a date and get to chat a bit more. I think it is so cool you are doing charity work and to me this is a job

Mila14 · 02/12/2022 10:55

Nugg · 02/12/2022 10:49

@Mila14 on Facebook dating this little section telling you who liked you.
Because my set distance was about 2 miles less than where he is, he never came up in my filters so I looked at that section as he had swiped right on me
He looks and sounds like good fun, he has a hobby that really appeals to me for example and it was in one of his photos. I am heightist, no apologies, his height appealed, he's older than me but only a few years and I just thought what the hell!

Excellent Nugg. Stay cool and enjoy 😊

Original poster

OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss · 02/12/2022 10:56

Absolutely no way @Eeksteek chuck that one straight back in the pond.
People who live with their parents (unless they live in a granny annexe) do not make good lovers!

Saw this and thought of my dating comrades (and applies to @NoDatingForOldMen too just switch the genders!)

"She said.. I'm a good woman, but one thing I won't do is force a man to realize that.
If he doesn't realize that on his own, it's his loss."

OP posts:

Definitelycross · 02/12/2022 10:57

Mila14 · 02/12/2022 10:53

Deffy.., he is busy nd probably surprised you are not working? Has he got kids like you? Some people beware of dating people not in employment. Maybe that is another conversation you can have? Just tell him to suggest a date and get to chat a bit more. I think it is so cool you are doing charity work and to me this is a job

Thank you ❤️

Definitelycross · 02/12/2022 10:57

OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss · 02/12/2022 10:56

Absolutely no way @Eeksteek chuck that one straight back in the pond.
People who live with their parents (unless they live in a granny annexe) do not make good lovers!

Saw this and thought of my dating comrades (and applies to @NoDatingForOldMen too just switch the genders!)

"She said.. I'm a good woman, but one thing I won't do is force a man to realize that.
If he doesn't realize that on his own, it's his loss."

Perfect

5thWisdom · 02/12/2022 11:06

OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss · 02/12/2022 10:56

Absolutely no way @Eeksteek chuck that one straight back in the pond.
People who live with their parents (unless they live in a granny annexe) do not make good lovers!

Saw this and thought of my dating comrades (and applies to @NoDatingForOldMen too just switch the genders!)

"She said.. I'm a good woman, but one thing I won't do is force a man to realize that.
If he doesn't realize that on his own, it's his loss."

Absolutely perfect way to put it!

5thWisdom · 02/12/2022 11:12

Definitelycross · 02/12/2022 10:40

I don't know what to do.

When I met MrG in real life he was lovely and talked loads.

Since then there have been messages every day but they're very - how's your day? Busy type thing.

Now he works 12-14 hour shifts so I know he's at work on these days but nothing seemed to be moving. So I said - are we going to meet again? He said yes when are you free and I'll see if I'm working. I said - I'm free most of the time, not currently working.

I know it could just be because it's messaging but I'm beginning to think he's changed his mind. You know reflecting on it and thought no.

So I've archived our chat. I've got a really stressful day today - work with a Womens charity to do with my abusive relationship, you know the 16 days of action just now. I'm basically meeting someone and going through everything that happened for an interview.

I know this could be skewing my thoughts but I'm thinking he is cooling off. My knee jerk reaction to text and say - do you know what let's just leave it. But my sane side thinks - maybe he is just really, really busy 🤷‍♀️

I've deleted the apps of my phone for today as thinking of potential irons is so low on my priority list.

Fuck - it is me isn't it? He has changed his mind.

That sounds like an incredibly emotional and stressful day. Be gentle with yourself and try not to over analyse how he's feeling.

Some days are so busy you don't have the head space for any more than just a simple check in - this alone suggests he's thinking of you.

He's also younger so might not be used to having to forward plan days in advance. Take it a day at a time and in the meantime, focus on how you're going to treat yourself this evening and over the weekend after a difficult Friday. Focus on what you need to feel better.

Anything else is a bonus.

Definitelycross · 02/12/2022 11:44

Thank you so much

@5thWisdom and @Mila14

Maybe I'll be a bit nicer to myself today ❤️

pencilpot99 · 02/12/2022 11:50

Hi everyone, I've been lurking on here for ages, wondering if I dared to take the plunge. Did OLD once before but we split after just over a year together (although we're still in touch as friends, he was a lovely guy, just not the right time for us).
Anyway, I've been ummming and ahhing about trying again and have just set up an account on a different dating website. Not sure how it'll go. I have quite a full life - children, friends, hobbies etc. - but I miss being with a man.
Really enjoying reading about all your exploits and the support and advice you give each other. Plus having a man's view on it all (@NoDatingForOldMen) is really interesting!
I'm quite nervous about it all!

Thisisworsethananticpated · 02/12/2022 12:22

NoDatingForOldMen

ah she an anxious one isn’t she
I’m seeing an anxious person and - I get a bit anxious about some advance planning . So I basically rarely do

it easy to say not to take personally

less easy to do

Thisisworsethananticpated · 02/12/2022 12:26

Definitelycross

when is doubt
do Nowt….

and have a busy non OLD day

if hes Messaging there is a chance he’s just low energy so being more basic and less flirty

its hard to keep up animated WhatsApp chat all the time

I’d say if he was off you he simply would NOT message at all

but I could be wrong …. And like you I default to the negative

Thisisworsethananticpated · 02/12/2022 12:41

Eeksteek

he could be perfectly lovely , living at home and night shifts are not a crime

but you’ve had a not great week in terms of Pug

ans doesn’t sound like his messages make you smile which is my primary marker !

5thWisdom · 02/12/2022 13:34

pencilpot99 · 02/12/2022 11:50

Hi everyone, I've been lurking on here for ages, wondering if I dared to take the plunge. Did OLD once before but we split after just over a year together (although we're still in touch as friends, he was a lovely guy, just not the right time for us).
Anyway, I've been ummming and ahhing about trying again and have just set up an account on a different dating website. Not sure how it'll go. I have quite a full life - children, friends, hobbies etc. - but I miss being with a man.
Really enjoying reading about all your exploits and the support and advice you give each other. Plus having a man's view on it all (@NoDatingForOldMen) is really interesting!
I'm quite nervous about it all!

Welcome! It's a jungle out there!

Keep us posted on your progress!

pencilpot99 · 02/12/2022 13:50

@5thWisdom thank you, will do... if there is any 😬

5thWisdom · 02/12/2022 15:05

What do people respond when you're asked what are you looking for?

I find it very hard to be prescriptive on this. It’s surely dependent on who you meet and the connection you have as to what you’re looking for. I tend to think that you can’t decide that unless you get to know someone, where it will lead and what will develop?

NoDatingForOldMen · 02/12/2022 15:47

Thisisworsethananticpated · 02/12/2022 12:22

NoDatingForOldMen

ah she an anxious one isn’t she
I’m seeing an anxious person and - I get a bit anxious about some advance planning . So I basically rarely do

it easy to say not to take personally

less easy to do

Yeah, if I book something it’s fine (mostly), but she would like it if we just pitched up at the cinema and had to pick a film ( for example), that would be an issue

it’s mostly okay, but work is very full on right now so I’m mentally frazzled sometimes..

NoDatingForOldMen · 02/12/2022 15:48

pencilpot99 · 02/12/2022 11:50

Hi everyone, I've been lurking on here for ages, wondering if I dared to take the plunge. Did OLD once before but we split after just over a year together (although we're still in touch as friends, he was a lovely guy, just not the right time for us).
Anyway, I've been ummming and ahhing about trying again and have just set up an account on a different dating website. Not sure how it'll go. I have quite a full life - children, friends, hobbies etc. - but I miss being with a man.
Really enjoying reading about all your exploits and the support and advice you give each other. Plus having a man's view on it all (@NoDatingForOldMen) is really interesting!
I'm quite nervous about it all!

Thanks, not sure how it helps really, I’m a bit of an idiot really

Thisisworsethananticpated · 02/12/2022 15:52

What do people respond when you're asked what are you looking for?

in my early tinder days I said ‘sex’

now its just irritating as a question 😡

Mila14 · 02/12/2022 15:59

Thisisworsethananticpated · 02/12/2022 15:52

What do people respond when you're asked what are you looking for?

in my early tinder days I said ‘sex’

now its just irritating as a question 😡

Fifthie In my OLD days I would answer …I know what I AM NOT looking for though…ONS and just sex… i think a sense of connection is a good start

pencilpot99 · 02/12/2022 16:18

@5thWisdom I haven't actually had anyone ask me that yet. Lots of messages saying 'how are you this afternoon' or 'your [sic] gorgeous'. Nothing that makes me want to reply or start up a conversation yet.

@NoDatingForOldMen well if you are an idiot, and I'm pretty sure you're not, you sound like a very lovely one.

@Thisisworsethananticpated agree that it's not the best or most original question. A bit like 'how are you today?' - not the sign of a great conversationalist, more likely a sign of someone who's been doing OLD dating for ages and has run out of steam/original thoughts/questions.

@Mila14 yes to a sense of connection. I'm definitely not on OLD just for sex (although actually getting some at some stage would be nice 😁).

5thWisdom · 02/12/2022 19:29

I've just seen a profile pic of a bloke stood with Ryan Giggs and I swear nothing will ever shock me on Tinder ever again. The most depressing thing - if there's a subliminal message there, then I feel like reporting him. Or I may be overthinking and the guy has been living in a cupboard for years.

Mila14 · 02/12/2022 20:33

5thWisdom · 02/12/2022 19:29

I've just seen a profile pic of a bloke stood with Ryan Giggs and I swear nothing will ever shock me on Tinder ever again. The most depressing thing - if there's a subliminal message there, then I feel like reporting him. Or I may be overthinking and the guy has been living in a cupboard for years.

Tinder 🙄…I downloaded it and lasted 30 minutes. Never again. I know it is popular though… probably my heart wasn’t in it though…

Definitelycross · 02/12/2022 20:35

MrG is a sweetheart.
I told him where I was this afternoon and he said he was there for me.
Then he left me alone until this evening.

This afternoon was probably one of the worst times I've had since it all happened. Having to go over everything was so much more upsetting than I could ever have imagined.

Wine, a takeaway and Sister Wives. And an early night.

Mila14 · 02/12/2022 20:54

Definitelycross · 02/12/2022 20:35

MrG is a sweetheart.
I told him where I was this afternoon and he said he was there for me.
Then he left me alone until this evening.

This afternoon was probably one of the worst times I've had since it all happened. Having to go over everything was so much more upsetting than I could ever have imagined.

Wine, a takeaway and Sister Wives. And an early night.

Enjoy Deffy… I am sure MrG thinks the same about you. When will you meet again?

5thWisdom · 02/12/2022 20:55

Definitelycross · 02/12/2022 20:35

MrG is a sweetheart.
I told him where I was this afternoon and he said he was there for me.
Then he left me alone until this evening.

This afternoon was probably one of the worst times I've had since it all happened. Having to go over everything was so much more upsetting than I could ever have imagined.

Wine, a takeaway and Sister Wives. And an early night.

Be gentle on yourself this evening. I can imagine today was very difficult but you know it was to help and benefit others, so remember that you did a powerful thing.

Good to hear on the messages from Mr G. Be careful not to share too much on past abuse. I don't talk about that or plan on doing so with anyone I meet (if I ever get a reply) for a long, long time x