Page 33 | Dating Thread 236 - Swiping, Blocking and Video Calls

Mila14 · 18/12/2022 20:27

Bugger…MrEx all “I love you and I’m sorry and please let me explain myself”. I will but honestly I’m all for a bit of positivity and smiles. I can’t be forever getting upset because of caves and constant crisis. We will talk tomorrow a bit more but he’s really losing me. Sadly
I don’t know if I can believe he can really control himself. I’m just glad I don’t really see him properly until new year. Honestly.

Justatoe2 · 18/12/2022 22:32

@Mila14 Im sorry to see Mr Ex not able to step up: you appear to be at peace with whatever decision you make, and I hope you continue to feel that way.

Eeksteek · 18/12/2022 23:01

Right, I have been lurking and swiping away, with no success at all, in an effort to mend my mildly-dented heart (thanks for that, Pug). Out of perhaps twenty five matches, there have been three conversations (someone really, really needs tell these blokes to ask questions, not just answer yours and stop talking!) and being almost ready to can it, I now have a date. Tomorrow.

Your best tips, ladies on NOT getting over invested, please. I’m so impulsive and all or nothing. I’m apprehensive because he doesn’t have kids. And I have mine 100%. Which is obviously going not-very-far, and I wanted a guy who properly understands that my kid comes first. But, at least I won’t get ambushed by another amazing respectful-father-gem. (That was bloody pants. I’m still hurt). But, I rather like the advice about getting over the last fella by getting under the next one, so here goes (well, not quite literally) I have a couple of proto-irons as well, but there is a limit to how often I can go skipping off child free, so dating multiple guys isn’t really going to be happening for me.

I’m not going to give him a name yet. I might decide not to keep him 🤣

Thisisworsethananticpated · 18/12/2022 23:45

Eeksteek

good for you !
have no expectations (ha easy to say !)
but hope there is some chemistry 🧪

SortingItOut · 19/12/2022 08:21

@Thisisworsethananticpated Mr35 is just an FB, the sex is out of this world but our schedules haven't aligned for a few weeks.

Mr Social is still there in the background, its complicated as the group we met in doesn't allow relationships and my friend likes him but won't pursue him due to meeting him in the group and she doesn't do relationships from within groups.

I also have Mr Media, today will be Date 3. I'm going to his house. This reminds me of courting as date 1 we only pecked on the cheek, date 2 we snogged a few times and now date 3....
Its weird after Fab to not discuss sex or anything like that but I really like it.

Plus a few other potential FB/FWBs🤦‍♀️

My relationship life is a mess and I need to sort it out.

SortingItOut · 19/12/2022 08:28

@Definitelycross A lot of men love the sexting and the fantasy of meeting up but not the reality.
With Mr Hotel we did not sext, he used to send me voice notes about what he would do to me and I would respond positively but no full on sexting or nudes or anything.
I actually thought he might not turn up,he thought I would cancel the hotel.

Please be careful - there is a time and place for sexting.
I'm not allowing men that side of me to get off on..either meet me for hot sex or don't.

Mr Hotel messaged all day yesterday, wants to see me this week and if not in early January.
Really likes me and all that crap.....honestly I must have a magic vagina😂
I'm still content with my one night of passion and don't feel the need to see him again.

Thisisworsethananticpated · 19/12/2022 09:13

Sorting
It doesn’t sound like a mess ! Rather fun 🤩
but easy for me to say as I like a bit of drama

but a bit strange your friend likes mr social too !!!

i had a hotel night with Balkan yesterday
we have two more dates pencilled in before Xmas
After a year things seem to have calmed down

I never thought I’d have another relationship
go figure !

Mila14 · 19/12/2022 09:34

Thisisworsethananticpated · 19/12/2022 09:13

Sorting
It doesn’t sound like a mess ! Rather fun 🤩
but easy for me to say as I like a bit of drama

but a bit strange your friend likes mr social too !!!

i had a hotel night with Balkan yesterday
we have two more dates pencilled in before Xmas
After a year things seem to have calmed down

I never thought I’d have another relationship
go figure !

Worsy…fabulous news…you still have another 2 dates pencilled in. He’s really into you and it’s good that you enjoy it. You are in a relationship. Not perfect but show me a perfect one please?
Calmer waters in my front with delightful MrEx. But we still need to work at what really doesn’t …

Mila14 · 19/12/2022 09:39

SortingItOut · 19/12/2022 08:21

@Thisisworsethananticpated Mr35 is just an FB, the sex is out of this world but our schedules haven't aligned for a few weeks.

Mr Social is still there in the background, its complicated as the group we met in doesn't allow relationships and my friend likes him but won't pursue him due to meeting him in the group and she doesn't do relationships from within groups.

I also have Mr Media, today will be Date 3. I'm going to his house. This reminds me of courting as date 1 we only pecked on the cheek, date 2 we snogged a few times and now date 3....
Its weird after Fab to not discuss sex or anything like that but I really like it.

Plus a few other potential FB/FWBs🤦‍♀️

My relationship life is a mess and I need to sort it out.

@SortingItOut …you are really really enjoying life at the moment. I think you need huge stamina to have different sexual partners and a full life
I don’t know if it’s age or education but I have enough with the One. And if I am totally honest, I do enjoy my time away from him on kids duty . I need my weeks off. I don’t want to live with a partner ever. I love having my own place and regrouping with myself.
However, I am certain that if MrEx goes…in a few months I’d be on the apps. I need my man, just not everyday

Thisisworsethananticpated · 19/12/2022 09:41

Mila14

glad you are feeling calmer with MrEx today 😊

its a fine line between boundaries nand not taking shit , and having some compassion for people and their off days
go figure !

im going to stop gushing and finish my work for the year !

OLDstolemybrain · 19/12/2022 09:46

So things going well with MrFootball. We managed a sleepover this weekend while DC were with their Nan.

But I’m now reaching the point where I feel like I want to run away because it’s going too well. Does that make sense to anyone?

Ex was so emotionally manipulative whereas MrFootball seems like a completely open book and I feel myself falling for him. I keep thinking he will eventually figure out the truth about me so best to cut and run now to protect myself. I’ve been honest with him about this but then that feels like pity or whining. Ex really did a number on me 🤦🏻‍♀️

Thisisworsethananticpated · 19/12/2022 10:26

OLDstolemybrain

i understand
some of this is the post sex and intimacy oxytocin

try and do NOTHING

my tattoo if I ever get one will day DO NOT REACT

these feeling are irrational , but they exist!
so let them float around whilst realising they kind of don’t help !?

Mila14 · 19/12/2022 10:29

Thisisworsethananticpated · 19/12/2022 09:41

Mila14

glad you are feeling calmer with MrEx today 😊

its a fine line between boundaries nand not taking shit , and having some compassion for people and their off days
go figure !

im going to stop gushing and finish my work for the year !

I’m so happy for you Worsy. You sound more centred. Don’t go crazy on the vino for Christmas. Keep your gym and your libido going
Is HRT and counselling looking good for you now?

Thisisworsethananticpated · 19/12/2022 10:42

Don’t go crazy on the vino for Christmas

yes Mila
that needs to be my other tattoo 😱

Eeksteek · 19/12/2022 11:08

Thisisworsethananticpated · 18/12/2022 23:45

Eeksteek

good for you !
have no expectations (ha easy to say !)
but hope there is some chemistry 🧪

Ha! I had no expectations last time. And then look what happened! Mr Practically Perfect dropped into my lap and then didn’t fancy me. I need to cultivate pessimism. This does not come naturally…

Also, I REALLY need a better way to say ‘Adult fun’. What do you want from a relationship? ‘Adult fun’ sounds like I just want sex. I don’t. I just want to spend time socialising with adults and do non-kid stuff.

Thisisworsethananticpated · 19/12/2022 11:29

Wasn’t Pugs the first you met ?
and correct me If I’m mistaken but the first gent after your husband passed away ?

as to be fair that’s HUGE so not suprising that your emotions went 🌋 💣!? It would have been more strange if they hadn’t

look who knows what this date will be like
but your developing your ‘dealing with men again’ muscle 😊
I hope you smile this evening

Mila14 · 19/12/2022 11:33

Eeky… what you learnt from Mr2Pugs… if a guy REALLY likes you he will show it. You can be gent but fancy someone massively and want to bonk her.
i think adult time is good. As is being in the company and enjoying time with someone near your age instead of a teenager!. Just see how it feels and don’t force anything. Let stuff develop naturally or just ditch him if you have no chemistry. It’s early days Eeky… we all need time to learn a bit and even when we learn a bit we realise we don’t really know much

Mila14 · 19/12/2022 11:34

Book all your Pilates classes etc in advance woman. Put them in your diary. Put in your diary how many drinks daily too. Needs must

5thWisdom · 19/12/2022 12:18

Eeksteek · 18/12/2022 23:01

Right, I have been lurking and swiping away, with no success at all, in an effort to mend my mildly-dented heart (thanks for that, Pug). Out of perhaps twenty five matches, there have been three conversations (someone really, really needs tell these blokes to ask questions, not just answer yours and stop talking!) and being almost ready to can it, I now have a date. Tomorrow.

Your best tips, ladies on NOT getting over invested, please. I’m so impulsive and all or nothing. I’m apprehensive because he doesn’t have kids. And I have mine 100%. Which is obviously going not-very-far, and I wanted a guy who properly understands that my kid comes first. But, at least I won’t get ambushed by another amazing respectful-father-gem. (That was bloody pants. I’m still hurt). But, I rather like the advice about getting over the last fella by getting under the next one, so here goes (well, not quite literally) I have a couple of proto-irons as well, but there is a limit to how often I can go skipping off child free, so dating multiple guys isn’t really going to be happening for me.

I’m not going to give him a name yet. I might decide not to keep him 🤣

Best of luck with your date today! Zero expectations, zero pressure, enjoy and have fun.

Look forward to your mothership update. We'll be here for you no matter the outcome!

5thWisdom · 19/12/2022 12:21

Thisisworsethananticpated · 19/12/2022 10:42

Don’t go crazy on the vino for Christmas

yes Mila
that needs to be my other tattoo 😱

I've stopped drinking. It's been destroying my MH.

It's a complete myth that is helps as a coping mechanism. For me, it's made the past few years a million times worse.

Our culture supports and promotes alcohol abuse like it's hilarious fun. But it's not. It brings out a sad, cruel part of me (to myself and others) so I'm opting out.

This change is part of my new calm, clear, gentle chapter.

ItsMeHiImTheProblem · 19/12/2022 12:33

I've posted before under a different user name, but gave up on dating for a bit. I've recently tried again and I'm talking to someone currently. Just wanted to see what people thought about this.

He's 8 years younger than me, I'm late 50s. He has a disability, not keen to mention what as it would be very outing 😳 I'm fine with that, however one of the things I hoped for is someone who likes driving because I don't, but his disability means he can't drive. I can't work out if it's a deal breaker for me. He's reasonably attractive, but I don't feel sparks. However, we've only messaged and video chatted twice. We have lots to talk about though and lots in common.

I'm aware at my age most men are bald, which doesn't do it for me, and he isn't. Also found most men on dating apps just not very interesting, in fact boring, unable to ask questions or hold a conversation, he on the other hand is very talkative.

Should I wait and see if a spark develops and whether it's worth the hassle of always being the one driving? Or should I stop wasting his time?

BaddogGooddoggy · 19/12/2022 12:34

It’s interesting re MH and drink. My DD suffers from serious anxiety but giving up drinking, about a year ago, has helped her hugely in getting back to some sort of equilibrium so she can come off the medication, which she found numbed all her feelings, good and bad. For me, alcohol doesn’t really affect my MH (except to make me happy to have my nightly treat) but it definitely affects my physical health and really holds me back.

Mr B, perhaps inevitably for a British man in his 50s, drinks far too much, though I’ve only ever once seen him drunk. I don’t like this about him.

BaddogGooddoggy · 19/12/2022 12:36

ItsMeHiImTheProblem · 19/12/2022 12:33

I've posted before under a different user name, but gave up on dating for a bit. I've recently tried again and I'm talking to someone currently. Just wanted to see what people thought about this.

He's 8 years younger than me, I'm late 50s. He has a disability, not keen to mention what as it would be very outing 😳 I'm fine with that, however one of the things I hoped for is someone who likes driving because I don't, but his disability means he can't drive. I can't work out if it's a deal breaker for me. He's reasonably attractive, but I don't feel sparks. However, we've only messaged and video chatted twice. We have lots to talk about though and lots in common.

I'm aware at my age most men are bald, which doesn't do it for me, and he isn't. Also found most men on dating apps just not very interesting, in fact boring, unable to ask questions or hold a conversation, he on the other hand is very talkative.

Should I wait and see if a spark develops and whether it's worth the hassle of always being the one driving? Or should I stop wasting his time?

I would definitely give it a bit more time, see how you feel once you have met in person.

Mila14 · 19/12/2022 12:40

I’m so happy for you Fifthie. I enjoy a glass of wine or 2 out for dinner but I never ever drink alone at home. Even if I have had a horrid day. I force myself to go for walk or to the gym and that’s me getting over it.

Mila14 · 19/12/2022 12:44

ItsMeHiImTheProblem · 19/12/2022 12:33

I've posted before under a different user name, but gave up on dating for a bit. I've recently tried again and I'm talking to someone currently. Just wanted to see what people thought about this.

He's 8 years younger than me, I'm late 50s. He has a disability, not keen to mention what as it would be very outing 😳 I'm fine with that, however one of the things I hoped for is someone who likes driving because I don't, but his disability means he can't drive. I can't work out if it's a deal breaker for me. He's reasonably attractive, but I don't feel sparks. However, we've only messaged and video chatted twice. We have lots to talk about though and lots in common.

I'm aware at my age most men are bald, which doesn't do it for me, and he isn't. Also found most men on dating apps just not very interesting, in fact boring, unable to ask questions or hold a conversation, he on the other hand is very talkative.

Should I wait and see if a spark develops and whether it's worth the hassle of always being the one driving? Or should I stop wasting his time?

You have nothing to lose. Wait for the date and see what happens. Chemistry is important. I don’t know about the driving issue. I think if this goes somewhere, you can decide which way is the best so you can meet as often as you like.
Age is not an issue as you both are over 50 or around honestly. None of you needs to have kids… Just go and enjoy 😉